39Playa del Rey, United States
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My self-summary
Up front
Since it seems to be a deal breaker for some let me be up front. Yes I am married - I am a polyamorous man married to a polyamorous woman (Muridae). My wife and I are each open to multiple partners. We date separately for the most part- we are not unicorn hunters or trying to set up some casual threesome.

I am on OKC looking for real relationships with other non-monogamous people, not flings, and activity partners.

(the name, The Bursar, comes from long time fandom of Terry Pratchett and used it online with friends taking other Unseen University faculty names)
(I do not use OKC A-list, so I will not see who sent it if you 'like' me. Better to send a quick message)


I moved to LA from Michigan in the early 2000s and finally think of it as home. I am a computer geek and work as a software engineer in the aerospace industry.

I can be a bit shy but only somewhat introverted. Once I get to know someone it can be hard to get me to shut up :).

I am an internet and information junky - always browsing for news, current events, and sales/travel deals. I probably either know or am playing the latest computer games. I also love to watch movies and make frequent use of our home theater.

When not absorbed by a screen I love to discuss philosophy, finance, politics, religion, and current events - almost anything where a viewpoint can be teased out and dissected. I love to strike up a conversation on nearly anything with multifaceted viewpoints. I am a very direct / too-honest-for-own-good type person.

I'd like to think that I am playful, inquisitive, and open.

Stuff For Fun

Hanging out with a small, close circle of friends. I like hosting small group gatherings of friends to play board and card games or watching something from our movie collection and making meals for the group.

I am not really a bar or club person, but do enjoy a social drink out with friends on some occasions.

I try to not let work keep me from doing anything fun so try to keep my eye open for opportunities to go to a concert, convention, or just walk my neighborhood looking for what is new. I've visited a few countries and while on a lull at the moment have tried to plan a trip at least a couple times a year, even if it is just Vegas. My retirement plan is to see the world a few times over.

Not done recently but also fun (in no partiuclar order): camping, canoeing, bowling, aikido (need to find a dojo near here though), and beach fun . I try to stay at least somewhat physically active though might not be hitting the condo gym as often as I should. I am willing to try most anything that won't get me killed or imprisoned at least once.

I like getting out and about but prefer to do so with friends, otherwise I'll be at home reading on my kindle, using my home theater, or putzing around on the computer. I like to cook and am ok at it, above single guy ramen special at least. I am equally happy to go out to eat and an evening on the town though. I really like trying new places

What I’m doing with my life
Working (Software Engineer). I enjoy my job since while a lot of it is at a desk I also have a fair amount of lab work and do everything from fly quadcopters around to conducting tests at air bases on prototype vehicles. I very much have an engineers mindset - always wanting to create something new but practical or improve something already around.

Otherwise wandering through it looking for ideas. Pondering vacations. Filling out this profile with an overabundance of detail. Hoping some more new friends and partners will come my way. Having fun. Trying new stuff. Obsessing over latest computer game. Occasional trip to the local watering hole.
I’m really good at
Computers and technology. Cooking and entertaining. Philosophical or oddball conversation. Observation. Reading. Putting together other peoples Ikea furniture. Making odd but wise comments. Puns and irony. Jury rigging tv cables. Predicting what will happen next in movies. Getting what needs to be done done, but procrastinating otherwise. Psychically controlling dice (haven't tried in Vegas yet though). Trying to see all sides of a situation.
The first things people usually notice about me
My dark half-Italian good looks! All jest aside... probably that I am quiet till I get to know people then I get talkative fairly quickly and then you wonder how to shut me up. My neutral face can mean anything but usually I am quite animated. I have been told I have 'warm eyes'.

Also maybe the beard. That is my wife's fault but I have to admit it looks pretty good on me and I have become fond of it. I try to keep it tamed and well kept.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(a) Books: Snow Crash, Cryptonomicon, Turing Option, Red Storm Rising, the Terry Pratchett Discworld series, Enders Game/Enders Shadow, Ready Player One, Bourne Identity

(b) Movies: Way way too many so here is a a smattering: the Chris Nolan Batman trilogy, Serenity, The Rock, Equilibruim, Spaceballs, Princess Bride, Lord of the Rings, RED. Many many more - comedy, drama, action, anime, whatever. I seem to like the Marvel comic movies. I try to get to the movie theater once a month and always adding to blu-ray collection. Wish there were more cerebral but not overly art-house films out - movies that can really surprise me like The Usual Suspects are pretty rare.

(c) Music: Basically everything except rap, country, and death metal (although, like in all things, there are exceptions even here). I have a bit of everything, from Enya to Rob Zombie.

(d) Food: Italian, chinese/japanese/thai (asian in general), indian, sushi, American. I especially love anything involving some kind of noodle, rice, meat or fish, and spice. For some strange reason I really like soups too. Not above just grilling a steak and making green bean casserole though. I used to try to cook at least one new dish a week. Unfortunately I cannot see myself doing the vegetarian thing, although I love Indian and some Ethiopian vegetarian dishes. My wife is picky about food and our tastes don't fully overlap so I would love to find a 'food buddy' who would like exploring new restaurants and dining options with me

Six things I could never do without
I find this kind of list cheesy and choose to abstain, but will at least state I am an Internet/info/news junky.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What to make for dinner. Movie/story/invention ideas. Life (abstract). Vacations. What to watch on netflix or what bluray to pull off the movie shelf. Wondering whether I forgot to do something important. What activity to learn next or book to read next or new recipe to cook next. Figuring out where in my schedule to put more exercise. Sex. Philosophical ponderings of inconsequential importance.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging with friends, procrastinating doing work I probably should do, plotting to take over the world, or out watching a movie.

I am not really a club or bar person but the occasional trip to Yard House or other nearby watering hole is nice. I prefer to go out to a movie or restaurant and then come home, maybe have a drink, and hang out talking or playing a game (cards, boardgame, newest co-op computer game, whatever) or spend time cuddling with a partner.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Once I get to know someone and think I can trust them a bit I don't consider much of anything about myself private. People can ask me about basically anything and I will either answer honestly or give the reason why I shouldn't/can't answer (usually because it involves the privacy of someone else or a secret part of my job).
You should message me if
Anyone can message me if they like, however it would be more relevant to do so if you live vaguely near West L.A. / Playa Vista / Westchester area and are a woman open to having a polyamorous partner or are looking for someone to hang out with for conversation or food.

My wife and I also like to have people over to watch movies and TV or play computer games together.

While my wife and I date people individually we would not be against seeing someone together if they ended up being attracted to both of us.
The two of us