25Melbourne, Australia
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My self-summary
Morgan Freeman. Great now you're reading this in his voice. Continue.

Jacob Haber knows you're reading this. Jacob Haber is also an Australian man of Uni level. He's supposedly studying at Monash in Melbourne, but that's only a rumor. He may or may not be living in between California and Melbourne. He'd like you to message him, he's more of a licker than a biter. He thinks you're a solid combination of adorable and interesting. He dares you to prove him wrong.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a uni student living paycheck to paycheck. Does it suck? The paycheck part does. The uni part is rather rad though. I work online as a virtual assistant which is pretty fucking neat as well.
I’m really good at
- Swearing
- Breathing
- Skinny Dipping
- Not being able to draw straight lines
- Oxford commas
- I take a decent photo
- Talking to you (yes, you, miss looking at my profile but not messaging me, tsk tsk)
- Being born in November
- Checking my email
The first things people usually notice about me
The splash of blonde in my hair. Admit it: you don't even know what color my eyes are. No, I'll wait, you can go check my pictures again.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Marquez.
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
The Magicians by Lev Grossman
Malcolm Gladwell's works
And others!

Movies: Talk to me. I don't want to destroy this page with this list. But, it's safe to say that I'm a Kubrick fan-girl. Don't get me started. Quick list of movies on my desk: District 9, Ali, The Wackness, Silence of the Lambs, There Will be Blood, Zodiac, The Road, iRobot, Harry Potter #4, No Country for Old Men, Eyes Wide Shut, Capote. In no way representative of my favorite movies or anything of that. Just some movies I like.

Shows: Arrested Development, Futurama, Community, The Office, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad.

Music: Let's talk about this. I'll take you on. Bring it.

Food: It goes in my stomach and tastes amazing. Also, I cook it, a lot.
Six things I could never do without
What an odd question.

1. My arms
2. My legs
3. My head (and accompany organs)
4. My schlong
5. Everything else that is my body and mind
6. Sight and sound. Being blind or deaf would ruin me.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Ask me in the moment.

Also: What does that person look like naked?
On a typical Friday night I am
- Reading
- Watching a movie
- Drinking a beer
- Probably by myself
- Still human and still Jacob
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't talk to my parents anymore. Moved out at 16.
You should message me if
You have blood in your veins.
You thought any my jokes weren't funny.
You thought any of my jokes were funny.
You think I'm ugly.
You think I'm slightly-above-ugly.
You think.
You actually did me the honour of reading this far.
The two of us