41San Diego, United States
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My self-summary
i'm a student of human nature. yes, i am oversimplifying the case, but i'm just a working class slob with a public school education and that's what the fuck we do.

i'm a very serious guy most of the time, except for when i'm not, which is pretty much always.

ENTp, if you put any stock in that sort of thing.

bourbon neat.
beer back.

i'm basically a gypsy who loves zen monks and gutter punks and probably the way you smell.

i think ee cummings had it all figured out:

Humanity i love you
because you would rather black the boots of
success than enquire whose soul dangles from his
watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both

parties and because you
unflinchingly applaud all
songs containing the words country home and
mother when sung at the old howard

Humanity i love you because
when you're hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink and when
you're flush pride keeps

you from the pawn shop and
because you are continually committing
nuisances but more
especially in your own house

Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it's there and sitting down

on it
and because you are
forever making poems in the lap
of death Humanity

i hate you


it means whatever the hell you want it to mean.
it's just another finger pointing at the moon.
What I’m doing with my life
banging on pots and pans,
tending my little garden,
menacing the bastards any way i can.

separating the truth from the game since 1976.
I’m really good at
getting in,
getting off,
getting away
getting over.
bitch don't make me wear you.
The first things people usually notice about me
"you're not from around here, are you son?"

how damn humble I am?
the conspicuous absence of handcuffs and state-issued clothing?
maybe the crooked smile and even crooked-er nose.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A) Russian

B) Japanese

C) Fuck your TV in its neckhole

D) American

E) Japanese
Six things I could never do without
guns, bitches, and bling.
I kid. jewelry doesn't do much for me.

Facts: I don't need a goddamned thing really, but leave me without good tools, a sharp knife, a stiff drink, and a good friend with a fat ass & a filthy mind, and I couldn't probably give you one good reason not to shoot myself in the face and hopefully take a few of you petty, self-important types out with me.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The way an iron collar would really bring out your eyes.

How you can take your Oxford comma and run naked backwards through a field of dicks. Nobody cares. Pedantry doesn't make you bright. It makes you a tedious asshole.
On a typical Friday night I am
probably parked behind a drum set making noise with a dozen or so of my favorite people in the whole goddamned world.

typical sucks the big cock of life, typically speaking.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Are you a sexually irresponsible young woman with a daddy complex and a drinking problem? Get the help you need today. Contact me to find out how.

dead serious though? that my folks are still together after 40+ years. i admire and envy them for that.
You should message me if
you are warm blooded, open-minded, and smell delicious.

you're from the bene gesserit and think i might be the kwisatz haderach.
take me to your people.

you think we might have interesting and thought provoking ideas to discuss with one another.

you are sure we have nothing to talk about, and think it would be amusing/fun/kinky for us to destroy each other.

your post-coital routine usually includes a hi-five and a "go team!"

your favorite comedy is passion of the christ.

your favorite love stories include barfly, the professional, or leaving las vegas.

you've got your own bail/burial money.

you have learned from your mistakes that nobody ever learns anything from her mistakes.

you need a drinking buddy.

you have a dollar and are looking for someone with a bad idea.

you are a slow-witted, lopsided moron who enjoys being berated, belittled, and chewed up by equally dim people with superiority complexes.

you believe every word of this.

you know that i am perfectly full of shit.

actually you probably shouldn't message me at all if you've got any damn sense.
The two of us