HamRemark
34 Indianapolis, United States
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HamRemark
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My self-summary
Lawyer/nerd/coffee addict /professional side-burn sporter/former rapping doula.
That last one ain't true.

I'm a small town girl, living in a lonely world. I took the midnight train to nowhere and bad things happened, so right now I'm just looking for friends for friend-like activity. You know, drinking, playing board or card games, and then drunkenly accusing the other of cheating and waving a knife around. And concerts and parasailing and amateur surgery contests.

I was in Bloomington, then in Chicago for like 10 months, now back in Bloomington, but now moving to Indy at the end of June. I'm like a shark, in that mountebanks peddle my powderized cartilage as a cure-all.
What I’m doing with my life
Law! Working to set criminals free! Suing other people! Suing criminals! Setting other people free!

I read far too much philosophy for my own good.
I’m really good at
Getting other people out of trouble, in an amusing and blunt sort of way. I.e., "if you confess, I'm elbowing you in the throat." I'm also very good at scrambling eggs and steaming mussels and roasting chicken and petting my cats and drinking wine while doing all the above (except lawyering; lawyering requires scotch).

I'm also really good at medically diagnosing common problems, like gaping gunshot wounds to the chest or the horrible disease of being dead and/or pregnant.
The first things people usually notice about me
I assume it's going to be the ginger hair that I tend to let get too shaggy and poofy (which is good for hiding my soullessness...which I guess is only apparent on the top of the scalp).
Also, if I'm wearing short sleeves, it would be Thelma, the topless hula girl I carry with me on my arm in tattoo form.
Some have said I have a good smile, but I doubt it, as I make it point to not show teeth. Teeth are aggressive.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books (which will be focused on authors instead of titles): Hemingway, Phillipe Claudel, Albert Camus, Umberto Eco, Margaret Atwood, Michel Houelluebecq, Victor Hugo, P.G. Wodehouse, David Sedaris, Thomas Asbridge (for Crusades stuff), Salman Rushdie, Cormac McCarthy, Milan Kundera.

Movies: In thinking about it, I'm not sure I have many favorite movies. The Big Lebowski, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Jackie Brown... I'm blanking beyond that.

Shows: Breaking Bad, Futurama, Top Gear, soccer (which isn't a "show," per se, but it's on television so it counts), Portlandia.

Food: Larb, coffee, gyros, coffee, schwarma, coffee, roast chicken, and coffee.

Music: Beirut (the band, not the city), Man Man, Sufjan Stevens, The Darkness, Foxy Shazam, Florence & the Machine, Tom Waits, Cocorosie, Amanda Palmer, Port O'Brien, ELO.
Subcategory of British Invasion bands, in order of Awesomeness: The Kinks, the Who, the Rolling Stones, the Beatles.
The six things I could never do without
1) Coffee (see above);
2) My cats who tolerate me and once in awhile love me;
3) Cigarettes;
4) There is no item number 4;
5) Drinking cider while watching soccer (go Man City!); and
6) the smell of old books.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
So much time spent thinking about work, thinking about things I need to file, things to say to juries, things I should have said to juries, etc.

Also I like to imagine that one day I will be imbued with the powers of Magneto and/or the Incredibly Hulk and the world will tremble before me.

Seriously, if I develop super powers, you have about ten seconds between me learning I have a super power and me becoming a super villain. Plan accordingly.

Also, two things I've pondered recently:
1) My cats figured out how to open the fridge. You know that scene in Jurassic Park, when the guy is hunting the raptors but realizes (too late) that they're hunting him, and he calls one a clever girl, and it eats him? That's me. My cats are EVOLVING in ways that will prohibit me from owning lunchmeat. And
2) Never, EVER click on the pictures marked as Similar Users (or somesuch) to the right of the profile you're viewing on OKC. That's where the 18 and 19 year olds keep their profiles, you pervert.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing various activities. Typically, alcohol is involved.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I invented the potato, but let Walter Raleigh take the credit. I'm generous that way.
You should message me if
You appreciate worthless, cheesy jokes; you like coffee (see above); and you dig sideburns.
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