'When seeker and source are the same, there can be no other destination.'
'If not your strength, my weakness.'
'The world may not owe you a living - but civilization certainly does.'
My life has become largely about inclusion, faith and belief if only because I enjoyed so little of it until the last decade or so, as a child of divorce and abuse ultimately overcoming a considerable amount of negative reinforcement, but I'm not completely out of those woods yet either - I try to live by the so-called 'Golden Rule' and extend to others that which I hope for myself, speak to the inherent divinity and best in people - shine a light on the God/Goddess in all of us, as it were.....I aspire to be a healer with my words, provide a haven from unfair expectations and my life as an example of a different, slightly kinder one - want it to have been a nobler pursuit when all is said and done (like Edgar Cayce, would never feel good about prospering materially from these aspirations and some on this site do know of my sincerity firsthand). I've come to recognize that how one's beliefs affect the world at large, how much they free and sanctify it to deepen, expand our experience of material existence - in effect create new collective neural pathways, is more important than the proverbial 'truth'. Conversely, I also recognize the value of 'common sense', which is no longer immediately synonymous with 'conventional wisdom'. I firmly believe in tacit knowledge and morphogenesis; have envisioned something called The Human Internet Radio Project - and consequently do not measure people I meet by their degree or title; not really a reflection of their true worth. There are many different, equally valid paths to wisdom and success.....
Should you compare profiles, this site will indicate that I am much less ambitious than most - not true; I do work very hard (and haven't any use for an MBA) but, as the Nineties saying goes, I work SMARTER and succeed somewhat in making the best of things without compromising my values. I take strength from striking a healthier balance, won't ever take cues from Pavlov (or GQ) nor jump through hoops and, quick as I may be to pay genuine compliments, will not merely feed rapacious egos. I saw the 'American Dream' for what it truly is early on as it took both my father and, to a lesser extent, brother from this world; never intrinsically cared about degrees, houses, vehicles anyway aside from practical considerations (I haven't the slightest 'need for speed' - my mind already races at the speed of light! But not every waking minute or anything, though.....I am, however, an admitted clotheshorse - no slave to fashion at all though in ANY respect - know what I like, and I do find much meaning in those possessions that further defined me, such as books and music; have something of a Native American outlook) - however impressive any workmanship or craft - but may be willing to invest in a home, make a few meaningful sacrifices when the time and person is right. No, some of my ambitions are just very different from theirs and gives the lie to how valid these percentage comparisons actually are.....
.....unbeknownst to me until a few months ago, Albert Schweitzer, in his book The Search for the Historical Jesus, expresses a philosophy to live as though we were already IN Heaven, and I do believe that a part of us all is even now, if not readily apparent - I've visited it, known Namaste for a tantalizingly brief moment more than once, and in some of the connections I make as an intuitive. My personal expression of this desire is to make simpler others' lives horrendously complicated by the aforementioned expectations, help them really reconnect with the universe in ways more intimate, show them how much power we all have to facilitate the miracles in other's lives merely by recognizing, speaking to higher expressions of themselves (while very supportive of a 'DIY' ethic, I'm not at all down with 'anything goes', especially where music is concerned - although an admittedly subjective thing, all expression is NOT created equal) and striving to liberate them from a fear of being the people they want, never letting be compromised the natural trails they might blaze out of this wilderness for the rest of us, being removed as they are from well-worn societal paths. While I've become very independent, I'm also a very social creature and so would truly hate living 'off the grid', have many friends of various ages - for which I am extremely grateful, even if I've sometimes struggled to demonstrate my gratitude, but my appreciation of the people around me is hard to miss and is evidenced by my generosity of spirit.
Like most men, I do appreciate beautiful women but that is only one attribute of a person's overall attractiveness; there have been many beautiful women I've known, but only a few that are still regular parts of my life. I do have a demonstrated weakness for women of Irish descent (may be the Gaelic - Highland Scot and Galician Spanish - on either side of my family) and the 'girl-next-door' look; people don't necessarily have to DRESS but THINK adventurously. I also very much appreciate intellectual curiosity and emotional intelligence, as well as a sense of humor (giggles are very welcome). While in some ways I am something of a simple man and appreciate, um, simpler pleasures (as the same profile comparison may or not reveal, why yes, I DO want sex - but I want love much more and an equal partner 35-45; still willing to explore a few years on either side of that divide - in crime or otherwise; in all seriousness, when I love, it's without reservation). Friends or lovers, I'm looking to meet more kindred, playful ('playful' DOESN'T mean as if to compete in the X-Games, either; 'low-impact' is the operative phrase) spirits with unmistakable light in their eyes, those more or less content with their lives and who they are, who know that nothing else matters more than the double-layered cake of companionship and sacred connectivity - the rest is mere icing. Also, you won't ever confuse me with a outdoorsman, sun worshipper, beach bum or foodie but, beach and mountains alike, do enjoy being out and active from time to time, indulging in long walks or hikes and bike rides with only a passing concern for the clock. More about food later. I've come to realize I possess the Buddhist 'global eye' and think wayyyyyyyy outside of the tech-driven 21st-century box (I'm hardly a Luddite, but none of Kurtzweil's 'singularity' for me, thank you very much!) That said, I find associated rituals tedious - save for using the same cereal spoon - and would likelier realize Nirvana by bowling a 300 - OK, another 200:) or, as Neil Finn once put it, "I'd much rather have a trampoline in the front room than an isolation tank". In general, I believe that far too much emphasis is devoted to the word 'spiritual's last 3, and not enough to its first 2, syllables.
Despite all the sadness I've known, resolve and gravitas I exhibit (yes, I AM quite serious, sometimes very intense and a bit strident, it's true; do actually have a withering wit and can be a goof with the best of 'em, but I haven't felt like laughing a lot, at myself or otherwise, lately) this has been an extraordinary if not carefree life, rich with much exquisite music and great knowledge that I was in full pursuit of almost from the beginning on an informal basis - mostly self-taught in so many subjects. While I'm not especially athletic, I do enjoy hockey very much, as well as baseball, football and college basketball - been a fan of the New York Islanders for almost 35 years; the New York Giants and Patriots, almost 40; the Red Sox and Mets; roughly the same. I've paid a high price for my integrity but, I never had any desire whatsoever to be anyone other than me - which is fortunate, because I'm just no GOOD at being anyone else! I grew up in an era before having a Bachelor's became seemingly prerequisite to be a contributing member of society, before gyms and health clubs became essential for many - this is not to say I'm not in shape, though; I work out at home and am actually in the best health of my life, more or less.
I am supportive, passionate, and intuitive
One of the things that will have significantly expedited my departure to southwestern CT or elsewhere (want to be much closer by NYC and its diverse yet cultured population) is this state's absolutely abominable health insurance mandate, something I vigorously fought for two years - advocated for HR676 and single-payer at the national level, but with much greater modality choices, patient autonomy and a provision for less discriminating reimbursement - I am hoping to avail myself of complimentary diagnostic care, strictly on MY terms, if and when the economic climate improves. As a student of vibrational medicine (Marcel Vogel, Antoine Bechamp, David Gerber, Wilhelm Reich, Royal Raymond Rife, Georges Lakhovsky, Nikola Tesla, Edward Leedskalnin and Viktor Schauberger) with managed environmental illness that has observed the Law of Similars and benefited tremendously from alternative treatments for over a decade, I see that the conventional/allopathic establishment, along with higher education, has gotten far too much control over the quality of our lives, to the resulting detriment of them - also, it's dependent upon us all being able to make a sufficient (but integral and REASONED) contribution to the public trust and I find it very counterintuitive that so many obstacles continue to be created which prevent as much. I have developed a lot of undisguised contempt for most institutions and no patience at all for intellectual elitism or willful ignorance, but an indefatigable fundamental faith in people - most people, given sufficient resources, as deTocqueville noted - that really can and does move metaphorical mountains; have witnessed miracles and even been part of a few.....have resumed writing album reviews on my Amazon page and been hoping to publish a modest book of poetry, prose and essays called 'Shaman In The Sheen', but that may have to wait until next year; investigating the possibility of taking some non-credit introductory classes in Web Design and writing/editing HTML formats, adding another arrow to the skills set quiver (those of you fortunate enough to read some of my previous no-break posts on this site will, I'm sure, agree I desperately NEED them:)
Latest reads: 'The Island Of The Seven Cities' by Paul Chiasson (provides compelling evidence that the Chinese were in Nova Scotia 70 years before Columbus, not far from our family land in Cape Breton) and 'A House On Fire: The Rise And Fall Of Philadelphia Soul' by John Jackson (amazing book but, as noted in a journal posting of mine some time ago, two days after I received it from the seller, Philadelphia International was actually set ablaze! TOO weird.....)
B) Just a few of my favorite movies are: Phenomenon, Frequency, Magnolia, Passing Strange, Planet of The Apes (all, including Burton's 'reimagining') Almost Famous, National Treasure, Sideways, Serendipity, Say Anything (Cusack in general is my favorite actor) What The Bleep Do We Know?, Defending Your Life, Chances Are, The Notebook (Rachel McAdams' character is so much of the actress) - I also loved Forrest Gump and Field of Dreams, always liked most of the James Bond, Indiana Jones and Star Wars series - really liked Juno a lot, too.
C) I have many television favorites past and present, including: LOST, Flashforward, The Office - like so many other guys, I have a weakness for Jenna Fischer; Swingtown, Everwood, Big Bang Theory and the CBS Monday night lineup, Better Off Ted, The Class - rash decision on CBS' part; as with BOT, the common denominator for me is Andrea Anders, Life On Mars - US version, Battlestar Galactica, Chuck, Lou Dobbs Tonight (right there with his populism but some other stances really rankle me - don't watch anything on CNN anymore), The Daily Show, The Colbert Report (haven't watched either in a very long while, though), What About Brian, The 4400, The Dead Zone, Nip/Tuck (penultimate season tried my patience severely though), Monk, Psych, Law & Order SVU and Criminal Intent, House, Grey's Anatomy, Scrubs (those last three admittedly strange for a borderline Christian Scientist, but the stories are great) ED, The Wonder Years, The Partridge Family, The Monkees - like having 2 seasons of HELP! and/or 'A Hard Day's Night', Keen Eddie, Veritas: The Quest, Twin Peaks, Picket Fences, Northern Exposure, Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction?, The Drew Carey Show, Hawaii Five-O (like Hugh Laurie or Patrick Stewart, Jack Lord could command a TV screen as have few since, and I loved Khigh Dheigh/Kenneth Dickerson as Wo Fat) Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp (just such an absurd yet hilarious show) The Pink Panther (cartoon) Star Trek (especially NextGen and DS9 - huge Q fan) The X Files, The Rockford Files, Simon & Simon, Shannon's Deal (Jamey Sheridan and Jenny Lewis - minus both the Watson Twins; see below - and Rilo Kiley, of course - were absolutely brilliant), Middle Age, The Others and Now and Again (really miss the latter three, which just weren't given enough time, nor was.....) Surface.
D) While it rarely tells the whole story, I've always felt a good way of beginning to get to know a person is by looking at their music collection. Mine includes CDs, tapes, 45s and LPs spanning 40 years; the CDs, of course, naturally have a higher concentration of Nineties records. There are a myriad of great power pop, soul, oldies, metal (more hard rock by today's standards, although the Faith No More compilation might qualify admirably:) folk, alt-country and progressive albums and other compilations; with well over a thousand in all formats, there are far too many to list favorites comprehensively, although here is an abridged effort: The Sweet, Marillion, Duran Duran, Posies, Aimee Mann, Jason Falkner, Split Enz and Crowded House, Tears For Fears, Nik Kershaw, Robbie Williams, Ben Folds, Elliott Smith, Dar Williams, Chicago, Spinners, Procol Harum, Partridge Family, The Monkees, Grass Roots, Chairmen Of The Board and Invictus/Hot Wax labelmates, Philadelphia International, Jackson 5, Three Dog Night, Kansas, Seal, Gnarls Barkley, Lighthouse Family, The Christians, Mansun, Iron Maiden - especially the first 2 albums, Queensryche, King's X, Big Country, Rainbow, Michael Schenker and UFO, Gary Moore, Badfinger, Beatles, Styx, Travis, ELO and The Move, Cousteau, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins, Beth Orton. Also, 'desert-island discs': The Kick Inside - Kate Bush, Streetlife - Roxy Music, Truth & Soul - Fishbone, Goodbye Jumbo - World Party, Straight Up - Badfinger, Face The Music - ELO, Phoenix, The Innocent Age (tie) - Dan Fogelberg, Best of the Stylistics, St. Elsewhere, The Odd Couple - Gnarls Barkley (another tie), Seal (debut), Human Being, System - Seal (3-way tie), Diorama, Young Modern - Silverchair, Absolution, Black Holes And Revelations - Muse, By The Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers, Hear In The Now Frontier - Queensryche, marbles - Marillion, Everybody Loves A Happy Ending - Tears For Fears, The Essential Earth, Wind and Fire, Bellybutton, Spilt Milk - Jellyfish (still one more tie), Attack of the Grey Lantern - Mansun, Revive - Steadman (story behind this one.....wrote a storyline for "Carried" that Simon loved and was actually slated to produce a video for them before the Atlantic/Arista/Asylum label group reorganized) Giant Steps - Boo Radleys, Bali - The Wondermints, Days Of Future Passed - Moody Blues, Forever Changes - Love, Duke - Genesis, The Great Divide - Semisonic, Rising - Rainbow.....and there will doubtless be others to add as I'm reminded of them. All-time favorite song: "What Is Life?" - George Harrison, but coming up fast in the No. 2 position, "Tighter, Tighter" - Alive & Kicking/Tommy James.....please do check out many of my favorites among 400 songs on Project Playlist at this link; may add still more shortly:
My new fave is definitely Fleet Foxes; how such young kids can so flawlessly evoke a Late Sixties AM radio ambiance blows my mind and I REALLY want to see them do it on tour.....also loved Panic At The Disco's pretty.odd album and Axl's final Guns n' Roses product, Chinese Democracy....also want to get deeper into Queens Of The Stone Age soon; remind me of a heavier Urge Overkill.
E) Food and I have had a contentious relationship almost from the start, and once I come to know you better, I'll explain why. Let's just say that I am not an adventurous eater and probably never will be, but it's OK if you are - I do know what I like, though. Allow me to defer by quoting the Bard, "If music be the food of life, play on!"
People may not like talking about it, but as a would-be student of economics and fiscal conservative, I had seen these soul-trying times of ours coming for almost 30 years and recognize exactly how it is we arrived at them (can be easily summed up as cutting off Mount Rushmore noses to spite their faces, and PLEASE let me be long gone before some clueless fool adds Ronald Reagan to that monument). I know exactly where things went really wrong (1979-1981) but still am somewhat astonished that the dangers seem to have been lost on so many of those in a position to prevent such a disaster. Please do NOT refer to me as a 'liberal' but rather a pragmatic progressive or, better yet, 'constructive'. Yes, I AM angry that it was allowed to come to this - AGAIN, even if I'm riding out these rough waters better than some.....
As with related health matters, I vehemently believe that we need to take a quantum, more empowering, expedient and creative, less sadistic and rigorous (even 'fun') approach ashcanning the Horace Mann model (ditto any notions of universally lengthening the school day or year; 'less' really CAN be 'more' in this instance - and DON'T get me started about uniforms!) to education and learning even if a challenge at the outset, encourage self-created curricula and the ability to comprehend from an early age, become more effective, dynamic communicators and listeners while teaching our young to be the same - the overriding concern as every tax base contracts dramatically should ultimately be getting as many people (back) to work in the shortest amount of time possible so that the burden is more reasonably shared and it's in ALL our best interests, isn't it? Most, anyway? The self-interested and unconscious 'meritocracy' that has, not at all coincidentally, risen up on hallowed Ivy League grounds and across this country in those same three decades just isn't sustainable, for the same reasons as related to unfettered capitalism, and THAT change, I further believe, is the one most crucial to our survival as a society - and a species. In short, we need not more vaccines but massive injections of integrity and non-denominational FAITH, need to espouse a philosophy that doesn't expect virtually everyone to incur ridiculous amounts of debt and expend ridiculous amounts of time merely to participate in, enjoy even some of the most rudimentary of comforts.'
Oh all right, I'll get off my soapbox now!
I do worry that, by moving closer to NYC I might be, in effect, 'going from the frying pan to the fire' as it were.....
But also, I hope that "Crank That" by Soulja Boy is, as we can only pray, the low point of Western civilization.....
I attended the American Society of Dowsers dowsing school and convention in 1996; haven't ever been compelled to dowse professionally but have taught a few folks the basics.....one more form of radionics.....
I'm quite adept at dream analysis.....
I know this was a long read and a very different profile than most of the ones on this site. I can only thank you for your patience - and please don't hesitate to ask any questions:)