I'm here looking for more fantastic friends and angels. I am happy to have befriended kindred souls on here who I am proud to count among my closest friends and/or partners.
I'm a teacher/imparter of dubiously useful information about contemporary post 1789 Europe based in Albuquerque, NM.
I'm 48, I am Hispanic, single (although I imagine many of us have our important, meaningful, and responsible--non-monogamous, physical friendships), straight, professional, worldly, witty, articulate, well-educated, intelligent, confident, independent, fun, safe, tested regularly and negative, childless, sterile by vasectomy, yada yada yada. I don't smoke. I enjoy social drinking, bathe at least once a day, brush my teeth at least twice a day, and find myself in the gym (less and less, alas, to play racquetball) about five days a week... or I'm out walking, running or bicycling in the warm elevated desert sun.
I frankly don't know what other labels I can or should apply to myself at this point though I feel compelled to underline that I am not monogamous nor am I seeking to be in a monogamous relationship, unless it's a platonic friendship (Lest you exoticize and/or make erroneous assumptions of non monogamous folks, I do have any number of Platonic friendships with women, and I'm proud of those as well). At my age I believe I've earned the right to do whatever the hell I like and I thrive in multiple, simultaneous relationships of meaning, friendship, and love. In addition, I'm completely done forsaking or stalling relationships with secondary loverfriends because of some monogamous woman's fear-and/or-scarcity informed desire to own or rent me, and my genitals. I don't find a spirit of abundance, honesty, and transparency in monogamous relationships, but if it works for you, great; I'm not saying we cannot be friends, even great friends, but I'm probably not a romantic match for you. So I seek more friends who, like a few here on OKCUPID, practice polyamory or some sort of responsible, open, ethical, and consensual non-monogamy. I am not inclined to stomach people believing in and harping on the argument that even though we are statistically doomed to fail as a married or serial monogamist couple when we're in those situations, we need to be serial monogamists and cannot grow any other relationships--especially friendships that may include a physical component--with other friends.
Now with all that said, I am happy to entertain the possibilities of a primary friendship with an emotionally available and evolved woman. Secondary or other relationships are fun, welcomed, and important to me, but they have their limits of course--and I'm not closed to more of these types of physical friendships--but it would be great to enjoy time with a partner in crime, a fellow traveler, a quotidian presence in my life perhaps. There's no need to rush to find her, but she as well as the openness to women already in their own primary sitches again speaks to my belief in abundance and possibility in our love lives.
Though I straddle the line between a quiet confidence and insecure self-deprecation, I am happy that I strike a chord with so many fascinating people. Still, I never know when a woman is interested in me until she surprises me and starts playing tonsil-hockey with me.
Hmmm... and I speak fluent Spanish, struggle through low-intermediate French, and know a few cuss words in Catalan.
I am multi-faceted, uncategorizable, and ADHD-rrific...
But I'm also often feeling stir crazy in Albuquerque and the dearth of suitable romantic leads here. I have a sexy newish Hyundai Elantra, and would welcome the possibility or opportunity to drive to your community for a weekend or to meet someplace new and in between.
I have a ridiculously eclectic tastes in music running the gamut from Lyle Lovett to Cold Play, from Astor Piazzolla to Depeche Mode, from Radiohead to Philip Glass, and Imagine Dragons. When at the gym, I have been known to rock out to a lot of punk rock (Social Distortion, Offspring, Flogging Molly, and/or Me First and the Gimme Gimmies, who will be playing at my upcoming 48th birthday party!) Me I had a blast at a recent Neighbourhood, aka NBHD concert in Kansas City though I suspect any number of the teenaged girls there looked at me and wondered: " Who brought their dad?!" I'm finally going to see Albuquerque's own The Shins during this year's trip to KCMO. If I subscribed to XM Radio for my car even though I have one of the shortest commutes in America, and would usually tune in to Channel 36, Alt Nation.
As for food, I am pretty much omnivorous though not a huge fan of seafood and shellfish. I truly love to cook, and crave opportunities to do so for friends who are potential lovers/partners.
Allegedly Lucinda Williams had herself a great show in Madrid while I was last there recently, and it's too bad I missed it. I love her music, but when I saw her in Santa Fe, NM a couple of years back, perhaps when she was in depression phase, she had the charisma of a cold cod.
I find almost all the dramatic series FX and AMC put out to be quite compelling, and occasionally binge watch a great deal of stuff on Netflix or Amazon Prime.
Jenny Lewis's "Handle me with care".
As someone who's probably solo poly by nature and a relationship anarchist, but single by both choice and circumstance, I've also been mulling how many (NOT ALL) of my beliefs parallel this OkCupid user's :
If OKC thinks we are an 80% or better match that suggests (from past experiences) we will get along swimmingly. Well I imagine that the "hot but vacuous" will eventually bore me. So read this:
I'd like to meet an intelligent to brilliant conversationalist who is confident, sexy, witty, and happy... Someone who is looking for a confident friend (and maybe a primary partner/lover) with whom she can be free to be herself and allow me to be the same. Someone who understands that though I am content with a lot about my life, I am insatiable when it comes to surrounding myself with thoughtful, challenging, beautiful, and interesting friends.
Someone who sings out loud while driving in her car; loves flannel sheets because they allow you to sleep in the buff with a lover in the winter; is a cat and a dog person, or just a cat person; can hold her end of a conversation; is athletic, healthy, and/or knowledgeable about sports; is a barfly and a discerning drinker; isn't into power or pain because the best adult play is between friends and equals; has a little black cocktail dress and doesn't think it's weird that I crave opportunities to wear my tux; someone who respects my relationships, and who expects the same; someone who digs my cooking; someone who doesn't impose her beliefs about people's private lives on others; someone who is sure of herself and mostly comfortable in her own skin.
Absolutely no Trumpettes!; go fuck yourself or connect with one of his fellow racist, misogynistic, loser, microcephalic, pseudo-fascists. Have a lovely day!