39Portland, United States
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My self-summary
Note: I last edited the text of this profile a few years ago. It feels out of date, mostly in that the energy of it seems ... more showy than I feel these days. Or something. It's accurate to who I've been. And I might update it again soon (my partner survived cancer treatment, and recovery still sucks! I make games now and I love it!), but there's so much else I'm doing that updating my OKC profile is not frankly anywhere near the top of my priorities.
quickmatch: heaventwig
My dance is everything I do. Where is the balance point? What is the energy of this moment, this music? Who is my partner, where do we pivot, and what is our next step?

I collaborate in creativity. This is how I work at play. My friends and I make up games, stories, meals, and new ways of moving through the world. We grow ourselves through the exploration of relationship. What can we cook up together?
What I’m doing with my life
Radiating essential warmth. Cultivating integrity that resonates so strongly with the people around me that they are inspired to align with themselves. Expanding my capacity to enjoy things going well.

Living in a world where consent is the normal way folks get things done. Sharing the work that I've done in my own personal growth and organizational development.

I'm building my life around my passions, delving deeply into the wonder of my close relationships, and getting ever-clearer about what I want. I enjoy pursuing the question, "what do I want to create, and how can I do that right now?"

I am supporting my partner through treatment for stage 3 breast cancer - the prognosis is good, thanks, and yes it's a challenging journey anyway.

I am growing a thriving business that helps companies wake up and transform themselves. It is the most playful and engaging work I have ever done.

With my partner (lil_suz), I am setting out on a life-journey to discover and connect with another person, couple, or group with whom to create deep nesting together in a way that delights everyone involved — romance, wholeness, integrity, and the sort of love that our hearts recognize in each other the moment that we meet.
I’m really good at
The first things people usually notice about me
Energy. The way I create space for a group of people. How I relax and pay attention. The soft smile in my eyes. The simplicity and directness with which I handle requests. My kindness toward strangers. My breathing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
a) I read business management books as if they’re self-help, and vice versa, because people are organizations comprising many parts, and organizations are people too. (Political aside: I favor abolishing the enslavement of corporations, and strengthening their personhood. Forcing one person to labor for another was supposed to be prohibited by the 13th amendment.) I devour sci-fi and fantasy – read LotR at least 13 times, mostly before I was 13 years old. Favorite authors include Jim Collins, Gay and Katie Hendricks, Tim Ferriss, Neal Stephenson, George R R Martin, J R R Tolkein, Hugh Howey, Frank Herbert, Isaac Asimov, and many others. Rumi, Hafiz, etc too – I adore Daniel Ladinsky’s translations of mystic poetry. And I have a collection of translations of Sun Tzu’s Art of War.

b) In general, while I'd usually prefer to make up stories than sit in a theater, I do find some films provide inspiration for my own creativity. Based on some 300+ ratings (as of September 2009), Netflix expects me to like imaginative sci-fi & fantasy, feel-good comedies with a strong female lead, inspiring underdog movies based on real life, critically acclaimed dysfunctional-family movies, emotional dramas, dramas about food, and romantic indie flicks – especially if they're British. (I'd link to my profile there, but haven't found a publicly viewable page.) Lately (early 2013), I’ve been more into episodic TV series than movies, as the form allows for more depth of character development. Notably, I’ve been feeling less inclined to watch big explodey action stuff too. Still feeling into that.

c) I like waaay too much music to describe here, and I don’t pay enough attention to what I’m listening to that I could name it all. Everything from classical to pop, ambient rock to gangsta rap, novelty songs, metal, techno, house, industrial, dub-step, shoegaze, electronic music, … hell, it’s mostly all just 4 Chords anyway, right?

What, you want specifics? There are only a few artists whose whole collections I’ve tried to gather up at one point or another (and most of these I eventually stopped): Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo de Silos, Candlepark Stars, Dead Can Dance, Deep Forest, Ani DiFranco, Enigma, Enya, Nine Inch Nails, Portland Cello Project, Katherine Quinn, Jason Webley. Nearly one in every seven minutes of music on my hard drive is classical.

I’m sometimes embarrassed that I can still recite Gangsta Gangsta (by NWA). Less embarrassed that I can recite the Star Wars Gangsta Rap. Never embarrassed that I enjoy dancing to pop music. I grew up falling asleep at Gilbert and Sullivan festivals (and Shakespeare, but that’s a different sort of music). I’m most likely to pick up a new piece of music these days if I enjoy dancing to it, or if it gives me that yummy expansive feeling of … yummy expansiveness.

d) Chocolate. Sushi. Local, fresh, seasonal foods. High-quality ingredients with minimalist preparation. I enjoy a mashup of Paleo and Slow-Carb diets, guided mostly by what my body wants in the moment. My favorite sort of cookbooks now are those that offer inspiration – flavor combinations, menu planning, and that sort of thing. I have my reference library pretty well stocked: Bittman, Joy, The Flavor Bible, and the 4-Hour Chef form its backbone. I might be running a secret underground restaurant.
Six things I could never do without
The Tao, regardless of what we call it.
My brothers, Nate and Henry.
A team.
Good food; real nourishment.
Creative applications of mathematics.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
On a typical Friday night I am

Usually with one or more of my dearest beloved people.

But really, this question seems intended to assess what activities one engages in during leisure time, so...

With my friends, I like talking about life, sharing a meal, wandering in a park, hiking, stargazing, playing games (strategic, theatrical, cooperative, RP, tactical, and/or "new"; video, board, card, tabletop, and/or "other"), singing, telling stories, dancing, reading and reciting poetry, etc. That which ordinary men are fit for, I am qualified in, and the best of me is diligence.

I enjoy watching movies, and some TV shows, but I'd rather spend time interacting with other people than staring at a screen. Which is funny, given the medium here, but it's true – most of the messages I send on here are along the lines of "let's meet".

When I have a suitable buddy around, I also enjoy sparring and swordplay.


But maybe you wanted to know what you and I might do the first time we get together?
We'd meet in public, of course. A cafe, a restaurant; something low-stakes, ideally. Someplace quiet, so we can hear each other easily.

What's my big dream, my fantasy of a perfect first meeting?
We light up when we see each other—an electric sense of recognition—and step into an easy flow of gentle conversation. Authenticity. Exploring what we're learning about ourselves, appreciating each other and the world around us. A sense of comfort in each other's presence, and a warm buzz at lingering incidental contact between random extremities—elbows, knees, toes. Eyes.

Presence that goes on forever.
A space for growing enthusiasm. An earnest exchange of wow. A clear groundedness in I-don't-know. Sharing thoughts and feelings as they arise; no need to get anywhere or accomplish anything, nothing to be done, just this moment. Connecting.

What's the minimum for a good initial connection?
Discovering that, absent any masking or manipulation of our scents, we smell good to each other. That our bodies intuitively like each other.
Presence. Authenticity. Appreciation. Creative flow.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Queueing up the earnest answer here…

I keep no secrets, yet I maintain some privacy.
Private things are those whose personal or sacred value would be diminished by sharing them. A secret would be something that I didn’t reveal because I was scared of how someone might react.

I am committed to revealing myself fully in my relationships, rather than concealing myself.

I don’t believe in guilt. Or admissions. I’m into celebration, and discovery-through-revealing.

Ask me anything.
You should message me if
You enjoy playing with your awareness. You love the results you're creating in your life. You make a practice of appreciation, of following the thread of what-wants-to-happen-now, and of discovering, nourishing, and expressing creativity in yourself and others.

You love your body, and the bodies of others. You take care of yours, and you're gentle with theirs unless they ask you to be rough. You love touch, and cuddling. You love to move your body. You delight in the all-encompassing union-of-being that comes with spiritual sex.

Speaking of spirituality: If you're an atheist, you nevertheless have no problem with phrases like "spiritual sex" because you get what I'm talking about. And in any case you love looking at the universe from a variety of perspectives.

You love children. Maybe you want to make or raise a(nother) child or two. Maybe you already have some.

You've got the money thing worked out. The flow works. It's on. You enjoy plenty of money for all the things you need and want to do.

Integrity. Consciousness.

You're not into blame, addiction, or saving people from their feelings (eg by saying "yes" when you feel "no").

You love the idea of weaving a life together with two or more others, and you are patient with the pace of discovery.

Please send me a message if you feel a sense of resonant appreciation and want to connect with me. Please mention something that you noticed while reading my profile, and ask me a question that you’re curious about.
The two of us