41Atlanta, United States
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My self-summary
Wow! What to say about little ol' me!? Let me just say that I'm excited to be here! Bring on the ladies!

I've had a little bit of a dry spell lately, largely due to my being confined to the house. Don't worry ladies, I'm not a creeper on house arrest or a socially clueless recluse.

Here's my deal: Because I manufacture a ridiculous amount of manly testosterone, I give off a smell similar to a freshly-seared, well-seasoned steak. I'm not ashamed. It's the price I have to pay for having a seductively low voice and a phallus the size of whiffle ball bat.

Anyway, my neighbor has two large wolves. He insists that he's domesticated them, but they seem feral to me! Whenever I leave my house, Apache and Jezabel (that's what he named them) come bursting through my neighbor's shoddily fashioned fence (Bob Vila, this guy is NOT) or straight through his front screen door and try to devour me in all my beefy, savory glory.

Long story short, ladies: Instead of sustaining numerous bite and claw related injuries, I choose to stay in most of the time.

However: for the right woman, I am willing to suffer at the hands -- or paws I guess! -- of Apache and Jezabel. Not even a wolf's bloodlust can stop true love. That's what my grandma always used to say.

I am made to make love, set to sex you wild, and willing to wank
What I’m doing with my life
Well, due to the whole "wolf" situation, I mostly work from home,
selling homemade toothbrushes and related dental products. That's
right: I am a proud telecommuter and friend of Mother Earth!
Recently I constructed a zip line contraption that runs from my
front porch down to my car. It allows me to reach the door of my
sedan before Apache and Jezabel can catch a whiff of me. Of course,
when I come back home, I have to reset the zip line, which takes
quite a bit of time.
It may not be worth it, actually.

Anyhoo, that should tell you that I'm good building things.

I also made my own refrigerator.
I’m really good at
Cunnilingus. There: I said it!

I also make a mean omelette.
The first things people usually notice about me
Well, you wouldn't know it from my headshot, but my most noticible feature would have to be my perky buns. I would have included a full body shot, but I accidentally dropped my digital camera in the toilet while trying to take one of those weird- angled, Facebook-style photos of myself. How embarrassing!

So, until I can muster enough confidence to explain what happened to the photography clerk at the local Best Buys, you lovely ladies (and gay dudes, I suppose*) will have to whet your appetite for me with my meager face photo.

(*Note: Gay dudes will not have an opportunity to get with this, but I understand that looking doesn't hurt me. I am straight but not narrow, my homo brothers!)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm not really a book person. I prefer people telling me about books they read. That way, I don't get my hands all dried out by handling paper and what not. Plus, no paper cuts!

Movies! Boy do I love flicks! I don't know where to start. There's always the classics: Ben-Hur, Citizen Kane, The Third Man, Vertigo, Cream-Slurping Anal Sluts 3, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Bridge Over the River Kwai, Breakfast at Tiffany's -- it's hard to know where to stop!

Music: I like anything with a lot of bass that's good for dancin'! Especially '80's electro and that early '90's Miami-style bass sound. Funky!
Maroon 5 is good too.
Six things I could never do without
My toothbrush (duh!)
Zip lines
Hair products
Collages made with dry macaroni noodles
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The ladies!!!!
Ways to distract Apache and Jezabel
How to become even sexier
The conflict between Israel and Palestine (so sad...)
On a typical Friday night I am
Still at home. Lint-brushing my clothes for wolf hair, getting my pre-game drink on, and preparing for another late evening at the club.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Once when I was a teenager, I woke up really groggy one morning and stumbled into the bathroom for my daily toiletries. In my confusion, I reached for the toothpaste, but accidentally grabbed my sister's Vagilsil. Half-asleep, I had already whipped up a foamy mess and was polishing my pearly bicuspids by the time I realized that what I assumed was Crest was really a powerful vaginal anti-itch cream!

I still catch hell at family reunions!
You should message me if
You want to take a walk on the wild side, ladies! Whether we enjoy intimate conversation, fall in love, or get horizontally buck-wild between the sheets (have sex), I will give you an experience you will never forget!
The two of us