29 Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
I recently reactivated this thing because New York is dumb and everything is hard. Hello!

I like to tell stories. I ride my bike a lot. I'm always hungry. I can grow a beard in a week. I was a camp counselor for a million summers. I really hate mayonnaise. I really love scary stories. I try to make things good and make good things.

But really, I just want someone to play Spaceteam with.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to save the world with theater.

I teach playwriting to undergraduate drama students at NYU, and I also write plays and direct plays.

I'm a founding member of a theater company whose name comes from an old Nickelodeon gameshow. We're working on a spooky ghost story.

I'm also a freelance web/graphic designer.
I’m really good at
Napping, pratfalls, talking passionately about things, making sandwiches, eating sandwiches, Minesweeper, the NYT crossword, flip cup, memorizing things, keeping my computer desktop really organized, articulating my feelings.

For balance, here are some things I'm bad at:
Talking on the phone, pretending to like things that I don't like, juggling, riding my bike with no hands, getting to work when I should be getting to work, singing (although I really love singing).
The first things people usually notice about me
This question is BORING but whatever. Probably my eyebrows? Or if I have a beard at the moment, maybe my beard? Or maybe a hat I'm wearing, if I'm wearing a hat? I have some funky hats.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Picking favorites is hard but if I had to:
-Infinite Jest (book)
-The Graduate (movie)
-Six Feet Under (show)
-Neil Young (music)
-The Salty Honey Pie from 4 + 20 Blackbirds (food)

If you asked me this question when I was in 7th grade, I would have said:
-Maniac Magee (book)
-Empire Records (movie)
-The Simpsons (show)
-The Red Hot Chili Peppers (music)
-My bubby's noodle kugel (food)

There are so many more things I like, though. So many more.
The six things I could never do without
1. Podcasts
2. Seltzer
3. My bike
4. Sandwiches
5. Good pillows
6. The New York Times Crossword App
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The universe, "art", how did I get this subscription to Time Out NY?, should I audition for Survivor?, scary stuff, fonts, optimal laundry-doing times, I wish I could sing really well, how much time it will take to get to where I need to go, who is writing all the Craigslist missed connections, WHERE IS ALL MY MONEY??, events from my past, the last episode of Breaking Bad, Vietnamese sandwiches, how to get my pillow to stay cold on one side always, "big art," movies that have time travel in them, mumblecore, Louis Theroux, autobiographical graphic novels, David Berman, rollercoasters, Neil DeGrasse Tyson's twitter feed, should I eat in or order out?, how cool and weird it is that we all exist, etc.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'd be happy if all my Friday nights resembled Elisabeth Shue's in the movie "Adventures in Babysitting."

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I watch a surprising amount of reality television. Totally unironically and without any feelings of guilt or embarrassment.
You should message me if
You want a cool, honest-to-goodness connection with another human being. You're a goofball who can be serious. You enjoy a good fart joke. You laugh easily, often, and out loud. You like sharing the things you love with people you care about. You can teach me something weird. You can teach me something useful. You can sing the Eagles' fight song.

Bonus points if the idea of all-you-can-eat gourmet tacos doesn't gross you out.