40Portland, United States
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My self-summary
I certainly believe in a wild card (the romantic interest that will be). I would turn my rear view mirror to see where she is. Finding the sweetest mystery is key to me. Maybe I know the key to you. I aim to make your heart soar if I come near enough to connect. I have no fear of propping my future on a girl who smiles. I like dry wit and I joke just to be a silly head. I often step into awkward silences. Awkwardness is good; I enjoy looking down at your shoes and mine just to feel the air... to take in every drop of a conversation like sharing an ice cream cone. I hope you say what I cannot say. If you think I step away and not bang a drum too loudly...it just means I am listening to you... processing intricacies. It helps to drink in perspective... to be weightless and thoughtful. The quiet leading up until now is all part of a perpetual clumsy adaptation. May I pick some flowers to fool you? (Sure!) Do you let your hair down to fool me? (Yes!) I'd probably do anything to be with you. I know who I'm dealing with, but I value honest emotions that help me sleep. The heart is slipping to dream, forgetting the minutes to beat. Keep it to a whisper, this is the way of me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRwijpJqLUw

Do you have a mind opened to language and books? If you don't enjoy reading or blogging I may not be suitable for you. Know that every season belongs for wandering bookstores and biting into apples (we could bite one together). Welcome to the fire. Pour me a glass of wine. Let's talk deep into the night. There's much out there to know anyways. The sky is an ocean full of questions. I want to fill my sails with all I see.

Some of my favorite things to do: I read several books in a month. I believe in my chest that I should have been doing this for years. I also frequent museums, novelty shops, or quiet local haunts with tea/ coffee served. I really like board games where I can sit close to my date holding hands under the table. I especially enjoy moments of silly randomness. I'd trade cash for them.

I am mostly a quiet guy. Indeed I will not be a spaz if you are more quiet than me. I will be communicative. If you email me I may move fast and ask for your number. Please be real with me. I don't mind writing emails, but it feels like going alone. You may not be looking to kick anyone in the teeth for trying to get your number. I may ask for it. Send it my way.
What I’m doing with my life
The faster I write this, the smaller I become. How would I photograph this state of mind? It’s telling that whenever I notice someone is active on okcupid much less my first thought is always “Good for them, they’ve probably got it together somehow.”
I’m really good at
-ferreting out awkwardness
-catching your hand in full swing rotation
-chasing time and the door
-apparently mowing the yard in a bendy line
-keeping the soundtrack for our time
-kite running & tripping over tangled water hoses
-kissing to prove I'm not tame
-dutifully inspecting the rope swing before I push you
-diving in, breaking a crown
-waking up cold, blankets on the floor
-laying down in bed and dropping the cell phone in my face
-jumping the lidless manhole
-letting you read in bed (though I will tickle you)
-pocket change arithmetic
-modest furnishments
-keeping memories and expiration dates
-having pinkphone-a-phobia
-parking on ice in two spins or less
-pulling espresso shots in pitch darkness
-elaborating about scenic places
-discovering traditions that would stay
-becoming a stranger on my own block
-staining my room with coffee, cologne, or fabric softener
-making life mistakes by listening to the soft rockers of the 1980's
-drinking better and better wine every year
-losing feathers most every day
-questing for the real Cheesus (yusssss!)
-safety! dance!
-feeding polar bears in the fridge
-collecting Sharpees to dangle out the car window
-running through ditches, climbing fences to get away
-going home late but with groceries
-setting fire to the curtains
-shooting a panoramic view
-whispering softly across the pillow
-holding a tarantula (and not spazzing)
-any mayhem in flower beds
-sleeping later and later in these days of solitude
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm not so sure. I don't wear Nikes unless I'm at the gym. I don't frost or highlight my hair tips after a shower so I would never be late for a date with you. I never wear baggy belly shirts, sports jerseys, jorts, double denim, flat bill baseball caps, gold pimp chains, banana hammocks, mesh clothing, dad jeans or embellished jeans, cause bracelets, skullwear, or Cosby sweaters. I do not have tattoos or piercings. And I never wear a bluetooth like the pretentious ass in public, chatting away in the checkout line holding everybody up.

Most women draw the line on a few of these. Maybe you chase to possess better?

I am complete in my person or so people say. The recent years of turmoil were about looking down at my red ankles so simple and often. I type and sit here dumb struck, arms uncrossed...there is always more to say and less to fall back on. It's good to be silent and not have to worry about appearances, but if you really want to know: I exercise often, read often, and care about others more than the rest.

Sometimes I appear to be serious in the face, but I am usually quite cheery in my head. I'm good as gold and I will not turn on a dime. When I am telling the truth I will pull your hair gently back.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I peruse a mess of books almost daily. Few stay with me, and most fall to the floor. I'm interested in plays, mythologies, theologies, poetry, comics, and essays. A few of my favorite writers: Raymond Carver, George R. R. Martin, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Fitzgerald, Malcolm Gladwell, Dave Eggers, Augusten Burroughs, Michael Chabon, Jonathan Safran Foer, Michael Pollan, Neil Postman, David Sedaris, Miranda July, Mary Oliver. You are a special cut of glass if you have read The Architecture of Happiness or Blankets.

I do feel elitest about music and I rarely listen to mainstream. I never listen to music very loud, unless I am at home alone. I especially like indie and instrumental, and it is okay if you want me to listen to something new.
: Over The Rhine, Sigur Rós, Hammock, Washed Out, Broken Social Scene, Tim Hecker, Andrew Bird, The War on Drugs, The Drums, Alvvays, Magnetic Fields, The Cure, Keaton Henson, Aimee Mann, Daniel Lanois, Andrew Bird, Nick Drake, Cate Le Bon, Matt Pond, Sufjan Stevens, The New Pornographers, Belle & Sebastian, Joseph Arthur, Lana Del Rey, Karen O, Sharon Van Etten, The National, Jens Lekman, The Radio Dept, Jeremy Enigk, Grandaddy, The Lassie Foundation, Starflyer59, Wilco, Travis, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, The Phoenix Foundation, Yann Tierson, The Innocence Mission, Camera Obscura, David Bowie, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan.

Movies I like and will make you watch with me.
: Rocket Science, You and Me and Everyone We Know, All The Days Before Tomorrow, Frances Ha, Blue Valentine, Safety Not Guaranteed, Under the Skin, Hot Fuzz, the Coen Brothers catalog completely, Punch-Drunk Love, Away We Go, In the Mood for Love, Band of Outsiders, Smiles of a Summer Night, Cashback, Amelie, Breathless, Antichrist, Melancholia, The Tree of Life, Upstream Color, Three Colors Trilogy, French New Wave cinema, The Names of Love, Nine Queens, Brick, Revanche, The Edukators, Run Lola Run, Spirited Away, Gerry, Elephant, Ghost World, Millions, The Squid and the Whale, all movies by Wes Anderson especially The Royal Tenenbaums, Surviving Desire, Trust, Juno, Smart People, Layer Cake, Drive, Sunshine, Let Me In, They Live, The Cabin in the Woods, Planet Terror, The Goonies, Pan's Labyrinth, Moon, Waiting for Guffman, Thank You for Smoking, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill, Wallace and Gromit, Love Actually, About A Boy, Life is Beautiful, Return to Me, and any Woody Allen film certainly.

Watching television and pirating Netflix, I should try to reform myself someday.
: HOUSE OF CARDS, True Detective (season 1), Fargo, The Americans, Love, Arrested Development, Freaks and Geeks, Pushing Daisies, How I Met Your Mother, Flight of the Conchords, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Dr. Horrible, Archer, Futurama, Firefly, Dollhouse, Jessica Jones, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, BBC Sherlock, The X-Files.

Documentaries: BBC Planet Earth please, Sexy Baby, Black Fish, Exit Through the Gift Shop, UP series, Obscene, Nova specials, The Parking Lot Movie, Roger & Me, Food INC, Gasland, Best Worst Movie, Spellbound, Objectified, This Film Is Not Yet Rated, The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, National Geographic, Man on Wire, My Kid Could Paint That, Loose Change, Waiting for Superman, Revenge of the Electric Car.

And about food...I’m extremely unhealthy. That is considering the fact that I have recently acquired a diet of nothing but pita chips and chocolate covered acai berries. I am most likely malnourished. That’s somewhat of an exaggeration but even so.
Six things I could never do without
-Closed doors (when I try to do too much).
-Open doors (when I have too much time).
-Being naked, feeling blessed with sex.
-The taste of manic blue and lemonade
-Knowing that my condition is far worse than I can tell. Maybe no one belongs around me more than you. I am a stunted person romantically.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
people I used to know. What are they doing now? Did they marry? Are they reciting a creed or are they cursing at God today? These worries do not parch my soul but scrape at it.

As for myself... I was born without the fear of falling over in laughter. Do I look worried? Yeah that's me.
On a typical Friday night I am
reading the cover flaps of books and ignoring the telephone. I am always digging for something more on Friday night (or any night really). If I am lonely, it's just for fun. If I leave home, it's the lesser crime.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I waver sometimes. When I was in the 7th grade I tussled hard for popularity. I was shy as a knife and I was usually the odd man out at school. It was a disgusting year of attracting people to like me. So much so to bring me to my parents' room one night for a talk. My stepfather asked me why I needed these people, and I had absolutely nothing to say. What do you do when your father says you're the one to blame? No answer. No excuse. No need. I would not try to erase and recalculate. The question and the lack of an answer was the dust that settled. It was a God forsaken conclusion with no absolution. So I moved quickly to other assignments: the candle commands that I breathe deep. Kissing requires that I stop my thinking. If you can't see the stars please dim the lights. It won't stop my heart that I am never going home.
You should message me if
you are about falling towards love when, for you, love requires someone who speaks your rare emotional language. Yours may be a language of whimsy and daring, of playful mind games and bold challenges. Your lack of inhibition is welcome to amaze my imagination. Like sitting in a goldmine, I would believe you are brave and bright and nothing is missing. I require compatibility if I can be with you. It is okay for you to need me too. Eventually I want us to use absolutes like "always" and "no matter what", all without it feeling contrived or dishonest or painful. I want to be what is best for you, and I want you to know you're what is best for me. I want to share an equal love without fears and prayers. If you cannot kiss me in a bookstore, we will not go too far. You should convince me I need romance to stay up late with. Sometimes romance can be the smallest signal. Maybe you have a penchant for the sublime? Maybe your heart is steaming and you suffer that feeling from the radio? From debris you and I can start something.

I do not like small talk or a slow burn exclusively online. It can be the worst thing to manage. If you do put me off for a week, it takes from me. Pardon. I do not need friends because I have them. I am seeking a romantic equal. I want to move past these scratched up floorboards and be pulled under in conversation with that person. It should not be a terrible mystery if there is not a connection. Clarity has nothing to do with our skin. Please 1) have time to communicate with me and 2) know your proclivities. Be well-adjusted in your life and seek me out to know more.

We think we fall in love with character, but what we really fall in love with is demeanor. And I am careful of this.
The two of us