29 Washington, United States
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My self-summary
Just looking for my Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

ENTPF Chang's, if that matters to you.
What I’m doing with my life
Selling cutlery door-to-door. If you'll pardon the brag, I'm the top Cutco salesman in the DMV region.

I once saw Bill Nye the Science Guy at a Nats game. So there's that.
I’m really good at
My teachers always told me how artistic I was. Or was that autistic?

Not picking up on sarcasm.

Putting my foot in my mouth.

MarioKart 64

The first things people usually notice about me
That I look like either Bill Hader, John Mayer, Harry Potter, a certain patriotic Muppet, and Ian Curtis (formerly of Joy Division).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Coen Brothers, early Schwarzenegger

You Can't Go Home Again, Death of a Salesman, American Gods, One Flew, Of Mice and Men, Cormac McCarthy all day everyday

Blues. Anyone with the word "Blind" or "Mississippi" is in his/her name. Mississippi Fred McDowell, Blind Willie Johnson, Skip James, Bukka White, Howlin' Wolf, John Lee Hooker, And: Tom Waits, The Stones, John Prine, Todd Snider, Old Crow Medicine Show, The Replacements, Dr. Dog, Wilco, My Morning Jacket, Ali Farka Toure

Game of Thrones, The Wire, Seinfeld, It's Always Sunny, Amish Mafia
The six things I could never do without
Bottle service
Bar trivia
White male privilege
Trader Joe's
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why I went to graduate school.

What I'm going to eat for dinner.

Why people love Sgt. Pepper's so much when the White Album is FAR superior, AND has more tracks.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working on my Manifesto/Playing with my trains/Yelling at the TV. Kidding, normal stuff, like out with friends at a discotheque.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have this quirky habit where I wear a fake military uniform so people will come up to me and thank me for my service.
You should message me if
You own fewer than 5 cats.

You don't mind having intense, Seinfeld-esque conversations about minutiae.

You find this funny: