Job: Got one, actually own my own small (but thriving) business and get to work from home. Yep, the flexibility is awesome, and I set my own schedule. But it's actually a lot of hard work – half my friends still think I just sit around watching porn and playing video games all day – and I put in a lot of hours to make this a successful business. If you're looking for a sugar daddy, then you're in for a disappointment. The business is doing well, but it's still a start-up.
Kids: Two of 'em, both girls. Perfect – good grades, never in trouble at school, spiritually grounded and have handled the dual family dynamic admirably. They live with me half the time, my ex the other half. I'm a very involved dad, too. Not much drama between households these days, although if there's a problem, I promise you it's not my fault (kidding, of course).
Alright, if you're looking for something to read while in the bathroom (which is where 90 percent of profiles are read), then here's a bit more about me, ala stream of consciousness :
I want to travel more, even if it's just a day-trip here and there. Tubing down the Guadalupe, Smitty's Market or Black's Barbecue for lunch in Lockhart, hunting for cool stuff at the First Saturday sale – it's not Paris or Hawaii, but it's fun nonetheless.
I was a geek for Tolkein and Star Wars waaaaay before it was cool. I still remember literally bursting into tears when I was around 10, 12 years old because my mom let the pretty neighbor girl walk into my room – before I could hide my Star Wars toys, Transformers and G.I. Joes. These days, my main geek-out is over “Game of Thrones.” And, just so you know, I always hold the door.
I've always got some random/odd side project and/or hobby going on. I'm currently obsessing over plants (I just created a mini-garden for my patio out of cinderblocks) and making my own candles. Super manly, I know. I'm also just dipping my pinky toes into web design – it's my goal to have an NFL draft website up and running by next year.
Then there's that: sports. Remember that line in “Tommy Boy” when Chris Farley said, “I have what doctors call a bit of a weight problem”? Well, use that same voice and substitute “weight” for “sports obsession.” I love the Cowboys, Rangers and Mavericks, and I was a long-time sports writer back in the day. You think your father/brother/boss/ex-boyfriend knows sports? Nope. But take it from a guy raising two little girls who get football confused with baseball (yes, it's painful): I won't force my mania on you, especially if you're not a fan.
My faith – I'm Catholic – is important to me. I even go to men's bible study from time to time, and I just put my second daughter through First Communion. But I respect all beliefs, including those who are agnostic and atheist. If your's is a “my-religion-is-the-only-true-religion,” or if you think mine is kooky for believing we're eating the actual body and blood of Christ, then we're not a match. Sure, we can talk and debate about it – I love talkin' religion and theology, and my personal beliefs may surprise you – but I still demand respect when it comes to the topic.
I used to love going to the movies as a kid. I still vividly remember sitting in a packed-like-sardines theater, eating a tub of buttered popcorn while waiting for “Empire Strikes Back” to start. Someone in the audience was making R2-D2 sounds with his straw – remember, this was before Chewbacca masks and Darth Vadar apps – which really got the crowd worked up into a frenzy, so by the time the previews started, the entire audience erupted into cheers and applause. These days? Movies suck (with few notable exceptions).
Instead, I'm much more interested in what's on TV. I watch a lot more than I used to because of the kids. Anyway, I don't really have a genre-preference, just give me a combination of good writing and acting. So, I love all the usual suspects (“Game of Thrones,” “Walking Dead,” “Better Call Saul,” “Homeland,” “Fargo,” etc.), but I also highly recommend a few lesser-known gems (if you've never seen the Comedy Central show “Review,” just give it a chance; watch the episode about the Magic 8 Ball. It's one of three times that I've laughed so hard that I actually cried. Here's a little preview of that episode: https://youtu.be/Cnbr9BZHJ2A)
I probably read more books than all the other geeks combined back in the day, but these days, I read so much as part of my job that I just don't read much for pleasure anymore. I like some of today's standards (David Sedaris, Justin Halpern), but if I'm being totally honest, I'm still on Chapter 1 of “A Song of Ice and Fire.”
Random factoid: I have a terrible tattoo. Seriously, terrible/funny. I got it when I was 18, down at Tiggers in Deep Ellum. Back then, the only ones who had tattoos were veterans, ex-cons and, as my mom called them, “druggies.” Be nice to me, and I just might tell you what (and where) the tattoo is.
Alright, moving on … I have family members who have survived breast cancer; sadly, my mother did not. Shamefully, that's what finally got me thinking about my health. When I was a kid, all the way through my 30s, I could eat whatever the hell I wanted and not gain a pound. Today? I spent 30 minutes trying to find some stupid, small snack I ate on my mother f-ing calorie counting app. I hate you calorie app. Oh, how I hate you. Anyway, I try to get in at least 30 minutes of light exercise every day, and I'm slowly-but-surely cutting out some true loves of my life, mainly salt and sugar.
My biggest vices today would be my on-again, off-again love/hate relationship with cigarettes and my obsession with coffee. OK, first the elephant in the room. As of writing this, I haven't smoked a cigarette in over two weeks. Hold the applause – I've stopped and started several times since the divorce ('12). Just know this: If we ever have the chance to meet, then I've either quit or am in the process of quitting again. And if you don't smoke? I would never smoke in front of you. But let's hope none of that matters and I stay cigarette-free!
About the coffee … love it, drink too much of it – including at night – have no serious plans to stop. Know a good non-Starbucks coffee shop? I love visiting the mom-and-pop shops!
OK, on to my favorite topic: SEX! Just kidding. Sadly (or awesomely, if that's a word), my fave topic is probably food. I love to grill and I'm very proud of the fact that my girls' top three fave foods are, in order, “dad's” (me) grilled ribs, grilled pork chops and grilled steak. I put my small little charcoal grill to good use. And, overall, I love to cook. No, I'm not a foodie – and if you are, understand that I'm more Linguini than I am Remy (bonus points for anyone who gets that ridiculously obscure reference without Googling it). In other words, I cook the kind of stuff your mom and dad probably made, back when you were a kid, just minus the bacon grease and heaping scoops of Crisco oil. Eating together at the dinner table is among my favorite things in life, just listening to the girls and their ridiculous stories.
Next, first dates … I could be wrong, but I don't think I've ever been on a first date that was just “dinner and drinks/coffee” – then went on to have a second date. I'm not kidding. I want first dates to be memorable, and I want a chance for us to talk, get to know one another. Dinner and/or coffee is still fine – I think you've gotta have at least one of them (although I rarely drink alcohol). But I think meeting up for coffee first, then heading out to local estate and garage sales is a hell of a lot more fun than dinner at “Chain or Trendy Restaurant X” followed by coffee at Starbucks (although, I love me some Venti White Chocolate Mocha). How about a roadtrip to your favorite childhood barbecue joint? Or why not shoot hoops, then find a nearby blow-your-diet-for-the-day food truck? (alright, I concede the latter might be a lethal combination).
In terms of dating itself, I still believe in holding the door open for a woman, footing the bill and putting my jacket around her if she's cold. I may go as far as putting my arm through yours, but unless you make the first move, that's about as far as I'll go. Then, if we agree to go on a second date, I'll proceed to agonize over when I should text or call you again. Overall, I'm a confident guy, devoted father and I try to be a leader, both in my personal life and in my career. But when it comes to dating, I know my limitations. Basically, I suck at dating. And I'm a sucker for a pretty face. So, don't worry: If I don't do or say something stupifyingly baffling on the first date, just know that it's coming. But at least I'll be polite about it.
So, if you've read this far, then this last part shouldn't come as a huge shock: I'm a bit of a talker. So was my mom, so are my kids and my relatives back home. Lot of Irish-Catholics. Translation: We love to drink, smoke and cuss, and we loooooove to talk. I'd like to think I'm easy to talk to, too – I love hearing stories and am genuinely interested in learning about people's jobs, family, lives, etc.
Think we're a good match – or just morbidly curious? Then send me a message!
2. My family and friends.
3. My phone.
4. My yacht.
5. Just kidding. Wanted to see if you were actually reading this.
6. Jack's Links Jalapeno Sizzle Beef & Cheese Combo
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Going to a coffee shop with the girls, then watching a movie at home with them afterward
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More than anything, I'm hoping one day to meet someone whom I really connect with (and who appreciates my weirdness). I'm looking for a true partnership -- someone for whom we make each other a better person. I'm not hung up on how much you weigh or how tall/short you are, although there's gotta be a mutual attraction.
As long as you've got a sense of humor and a good work ethic, you're independent, intelligent, patient, honest, kind, faithful and have a great smile, then you'll probably find out pretty quickly just how much of a sucker I am for a pretty face.
Or message me if you're also a lefty Aquarian.
Or just tell me all the things you didn't like about my profile or about me. I seem to get a lot of those messages lately, too.