38Milwaukee, United States
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My self-summary
I'm awesome, in little ways - which is huge. And is also not enough to fill the required 'Self-Summary' space.

The urge to repeat the word 'very' before putting awesome, to make up the required length, is so incredibly tempting. I'm avoiding it, only to prove that I am not immature.

Which isn't entirely true. But, it is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very close to the truth.

I like to snuggle; I don't do enough of it.

All of my best friends are women. They are all incredibly good looking. They all have live-in boyfriends. They are not a threat to any perceived happiness I may discover in a relationship; truth be told, I think they would all like to see me with a nice girl.

I am tall, 99% fearless - when it comes to normal things (ask me about the Onion Man, and you will know true fear), devastatingly handsome, and occasionally humble (it's one of my best traits).

Once I get to know you, my loyalty is unbounded. A while back, one of my best friends told me I should give lessons in how to be a friend. This was probably one of the greatest compliments I've ever received.

I tend to get noticed when I go places. I wear a lot of bright colors, I laugh loudly - and often, I smile (for the most part) when I walk in, and I thank people as I walk out. I always try to blame my mother for raising me right. I think, perhaps, I just learned how to be a gentleman by getting disgusted with my fellow men.

I always send flowers the next day. Unless it was a terrible time. I tend to forget to call, though. Nothing personal, I just really, really, hate phones.

I have a bad habit of smashing phones when I'm angry. I keep an extra phone, in its box, in the file cabinet at work and one in the closet at home. No lie.

I've never laid a hand on a woman in anger. And I will laugh while slapping a man who has.

I curse. A lot. I don't even notice it anymore. I was, seriously, raised by a sailor. It shows.

I don't like getting drunk.

I'm not 420 friendly. I'm 35. This doesn't mean I'm against such things, actually I'm for almost all of them. I just happen to hate that one in particular...and heroin. I've lost too many people I care about to the dragon.

I have a cat.

I drive a Soul.

I like purple.

I wear jewelry.

I listen to Natalie Merchant when no one is looking.

I have been known to trim my eyebrows.

I smoke. Often.

I can be damnably romantic.

I love the feel of a warm body next to me.

I have tattoos. I will show them to you, but you have to ask.

I get bored at the most amazing things.

I get amazed at the most boring things.

Basically, I'm like a person. Except, you know. . .awesome.
What I’m doing with my life
There is, literally, no good answer to this.

I manage a gas station. Although, I prefer to call it a Gas Boutique - a little more apt.

I'm writing my unauthorized autobiography.

Trying to find the most efficient route between Milwaukee and Philadelphia.

I've got a pretty wicked game of Roller Coaster Tycoon going.

The usual stuff.
I’m really good at
Driving, being a wise ass, retail, getting things off of tall shelves and Scrabble. If my friends summed me up, they would probably say I am good at: driving, being a wise ass, retail, getting things off of tall shelves and Scrabble.

I love over-tipping people. Grossly, over-tipping people.

I also have a penchant for hyperbole - as I believe it is the greatest thing ever.

Not giving a damn. Which, depending on the situation, is both a blessing - and a curse.

Letting other people believe what they want about the universe, life, love and existence. Your beliefs do not alter mine, as I don't suspect mine would alter yours.

Remembering where a particular book is in a library, if I've seen it there once. This also translates into a pretty keen ability to remember every place I've ever driven.

Mumbly-peg. Sort of.

The first things people usually notice about me
I don't look anything like Warwick Davis. He's a red head.

I wear a lot of rings.

I've been told, by more than one person, that I have a well shaped head.

My abrupt nature.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite books: new ones.

My favorite movies: My Blue Heaven, The Red Violin, Predator

My favorite music: That 1 Guy, Meatloaf, anything people will groan about when they hear it.

My favorite food: anything from the ocean - except for salmon; hot dogs.
Six things I could never do without
My cat, my new bed, Camel Menthol Lights, the smell of a new book, sterling silver rings, overly expensive - and extremely soft - toilet paper, my devil-may-care attitude.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Work, women and whiskey. In that order. The alliteration is accidental.
On a typical Friday night I am
Thinking about how all the typical Friday night activities completely turn me off. I'm not into crowded place, so I won't be at a bar. I'm not into very quiet places, so I won't be at a movie. I don't have a lot of disposable income, so I won't be out to dinner. But - I can be found (often) at work. Or driving aimlessly around the city (I drove Milwaukee's circumference the other night - took an hour and a half. Nice drive.). I can also, if pressed, be found eating dinner, getting drinks and taking in a movie. Go figure.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I almost never wash my socks. This isn't to say that I wear them dirty all the time. Rather, I buy new socks with great enough regularity that I can just toss the old ones out without having to wash them. Is there anything that beats the feeling of a fresh pair of socks?

I also tend to mistake old Wayne Newton for Shirley Bassey. VERY embarrassing.
You should message me if
You need someone to talk to; or someone to listen to.

If anything I wrote made you laugh.

If anything I wrote made you angry.

Oh, and, it's not me. It's you. Every time.
The two of us