The urge to repeat the word 'very' before putting awesome, to make up the required length, is so incredibly tempting. I'm avoiding it, only to prove that I am not immature.
Which isn't entirely true. But, it is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very close to the truth.
I like to snuggle; I don't do enough of it.
All of my best friends are women. They are all incredibly good looking. They all have live-in boyfriends. They are not a threat to any perceived happiness I may discover in a relationship; truth be told, I think they would all like to see me with a nice girl.
I am tall, 99% fearless - when it comes to normal things (ask me about the Onion Man, and you will know true fear), devastatingly handsome, and occasionally humble (it's one of my best traits).
Once I get to know you, my loyalty is unbounded. A while back, one of my best friends told me I should give lessons in how to be a friend. This was probably one of the greatest compliments I've ever received.
I tend to get noticed when I go places. I wear a lot of bright colors, I laugh loudly - and often, I smile (for the most part) when I walk in, and I thank people as I walk out. I always try to blame my mother for raising me right. I think, perhaps, I just learned how to be a gentleman by getting disgusted with my fellow men.
I always send flowers the next day. Unless it was a terrible time. I tend to forget to call, though. Nothing personal, I just really, really, hate phones.
I have a bad habit of smashing phones when I'm angry. I keep an extra phone, in its box, in the file cabinet at work and one in the closet at home. No lie.
I've never laid a hand on a woman in anger. And I will laugh while slapping a man who has.
I curse. A lot. I don't even notice it anymore. I was, seriously, raised by a sailor. It shows.
I don't like getting drunk.
I'm not 420 friendly. I'm 35. This doesn't mean I'm against such things, actually I'm for almost all of them. I just happen to hate that one in particular...and heroin. I've lost too many people I care about to the dragon.
I have a cat.
I drive a Soul.
I like purple.
I wear jewelry.
I listen to Natalie Merchant when no one is looking.
I have been known to trim my eyebrows.
I smoke. Often.
I can be damnably romantic.
I love the feel of a warm body next to me.
I have tattoos. I will show them to you, but you have to ask.
I get bored at the most amazing things.
I get amazed at the most boring things.
Basically, I'm like a person. Except, you know. . .awesome.
I manage a gas station. Although, I prefer to call it a Gas Boutique - a little more apt.
I'm writing my unauthorized autobiography.
Trying to find the most efficient route between Milwaukee and Philadelphia.
I've got a pretty wicked game of Roller Coaster Tycoon going.
The usual stuff.
I love over-tipping people. Grossly, over-tipping people.
I also have a penchant for hyperbole - as I believe it is the greatest thing ever.
Not giving a damn. Which, depending on the situation, is both a blessing - and a curse.
Letting other people believe what they want about the universe, life, love and existence. Your beliefs do not alter mine, as I don't suspect mine would alter yours.
Remembering where a particular book is in a library, if I've seen it there once. This also translates into a pretty keen ability to remember every place I've ever driven.
Mumbly-peg. Sort of.
I wear a lot of rings.
I've been told, by more than one person, that I have a well shaped head.
My abrupt nature.
My favorite movies: My Blue Heaven, The Red Violin, Predator
My favorite music: That 1 Guy, Meatloaf, anything people will groan about when they hear it.
My favorite food: anything from the ocean - except for salmon; hot dogs.
I also tend to mistake old Wayne Newton for Shirley Bassey. VERY embarrassing.
If anything I wrote made you laugh.
If anything I wrote made you angry.
Oh, and, it's not me. It's you. Every time.