Oh, and on-line dating: how I love thee. But if I am going to be super, duper honest with you….you have many sides to your complicated Rubic’s Cube that can’t be figured out by simply swapping the stickers.
Tinder: “I’m hot. I think you’re kinda hot. But I’m hot.”
The League: "I know Brianna."
Bumble: "Awesome! We matched! Can't wait for her to not write to me!"
Hinge: "They paid for that logo?"
Happn: "Stalking for the guy whose always on the go."
E-harmony: "I’m divorced."
Match.com: “I’m soooo tired of the bar scene, but I am soooo not ready to quit the bar scene”
OKCupid: “I’m in a committed, open relationship and I am sapiosexual. I might also be a dude, but your friends won’t be able to tell, baby. Now slap my ass and call me a donkey”
Fet-Life: (unintelligible on account of the zipper-mask and duct tape)
J-Date: I’m Jewish, and really love Asian chicks. But my parents will KILL me if I bring another one home.
WhereBlackPeopleMeet.com: “It’s hell week and my pledge master made me sign up for this.”
ChristianMingle: "Jesus saves. He shoots, HE SCORES!!!!"
Flying from coast to coast, accruing frequent flier miles... Splitting my time between the coasts. All in the name of academia.
Snark and sarcasm.
Disarming even the toughest of the tough.
Also, I hear people from outside of the Northeast Corridor pick up on my accent, which is littered with "You's guys", a litany of curse words, a deft application of sarcasm, and an utter disregard for the letter "R".
I prefer non-fiction to fiction.
Dude comedies and mid-phucking horror films are always a good time.
Cable News for laughs, but otherwise all of the Law & Order-type shows and Arrested Development lead the pack. Community is back on, so that, too.
Music....don't do festivals very well....but I am willing to learn.
All food should be eaten.
2. My height
3. You laughing at my jokes
In truth, probably hanging out with friends in town. I'm a social animal.
I'm the guy in SF who doesn't own a car.
I have lax bro's by virtue of playing lax in a prior more svelt life.
You can tolerate my bi-coastal life-style.
You have a soft spot for Lenny Bruce.
You can teach me how to beat my niece at Monopoly.
You need help reaching that item on your top shelf.
You have that delicate balance between independence and vulnerability.