If you get bored at any point, skip to "You should message me if" for the bare essentials. The rest is for anyone who likes to do their homework.
If you agree with or can accommodate this sort of perspective on life, that's a good start:
I'm not after casual sex at the moment. I am open to "casual" and "serious" relationships and have fairly clear ideas about what either might involve. I may include them here in future, but for now I think it's nicer if they just evolve gradually from natural and casual conversation. In essence, the former is going to be pretty easy to come by and fun, the latter not at all easy, but beautiful, rewarding, hopefully life-affirming.
I’m “easygoing”, love humour and I don’t ,“take myself too seriously” but I do wince at such phrases and people who claim to be “a right laff”. I’m serious enough to be considerate and concerned with morality, and always try to do the right thing, though things are rarely black and white. To you this means I’ll try to be honest and up-front about any concerns you may have so that I don’t waste your time, but I won't try to offend or make you feel uncomfortable, and I will respond to any initial rejection with acceptance and humility.
I don’t speak as formally as I write, and I’m far less austere than I appear in description. I consider the measure of "maturity" to be in your honest attempts to understand the world around you and your capacity to find a meaningful/responsible role in it, rather than by how solemnly you act or your refraining from puerile activity or banter (which I find frequently stimulating :-p).
That said I do also enjoy intellectual conversation and philosophy (without it life seems random and devoid of real intention). You don't have to be supersmart, but you do have to be rational without being cold. I’m a massive contradiction between logic and sentimentality, though I aspire more to the logical side when the two go head to head.
I’m passionate about videogames and music, in a variety of ways and for a variety of reasons. I love food and keep fit mostly just so that I can eat more :) I’ll probably beat you at Scrabble. I’ll definitely beat you at Tetris ^_^. I’m keen to try out or take interest in most activities. I won’t look after you financially, but don’t expect any favours from you either.
I’m an Atheist who is considering the significance and validity of jumping on the Antitheist bandwagon, and to what extent. I don’t necessarily dislike or judge you harshly for being religious, but most religious perspectives, other than say moderate Buddhism, are likely to leave us struggling in a very intimate relationship.
I wouldn’t say I’m non-conformist, because that implies a fundamental and irrational pre-disposition to rebel, but there are a lot of mainstream views which seem silly and quaint once you distance yourself a little from our immediate cultural circumstances and look at them objectively, so I try to see past them and live accordingly where I’m able to. This usually leaves people with the impression that I’m strange, but I prefer to think I belong to the normal minority.
A bird flew into my head at full speed the other day. It hurt a lot and it’s no wonder they get KO’d when they hit a window. Don’t worry about me, the bird’s fine! Pssshhhh. I try to make a point of smiling at people in wheelchairs, not in any patronising sense, but because if you ever actually spend the day in one you’ll find it’s amazing how differently you’re looked upon :(. That’s about as close to artificial nicety as I get.
My voice is weird, and I’m a bit of an accent chameleon. I don’t mean to be or do it to be rude, though probably taking the piss out of accents all the time as a kid is why I’m like that :-p. For your part, if you’re any kind of combination of softly-spoken, sweet, well-spoken, or even posh (turnaround for you here) then score, that’s hot! :)
I’m online dating for the first time but I’m bewildered by people’s apprehension about it and the stigma attached to it. Yes, you’ve got to take some basic precautions, but other than that online dating really is the most practical choice if you want to find a match. It’s at your leisure, you give out the details you want, you can browse freely, quickly and accurately to find the specific qualities you’re looking for, however restrictive and intricate they may be.
We live in a strange world that places all this at our fingertips, but still considers the normative approach to romance to go out, get pissed and choose a candidate based solely on appearance from a mere roomful of equally inebriated strangers who may or may not be looking for a relationship. I mean come on, which is the weirdo’s choice here? Get a grip! :-p
The only unavoidable downside to online is the fact that chemistry and attraction can only really be discovered when you meet. Inevitably this sometimes leads to disappointment, deflation or embarrassment. So I ask anyone I may end up meeting to show a little honesty and a decent balance of modesty and self-respect in regards to this matter. Basically, I’m never going to be rude, but those who can’t handle a bruised ego with dignity need not apply. Naturally, I live by the same rule.
If you think THIS is too long, wait ‘til I update and add what I’m looking for in a relationship :-D
Making super short lists of superficial things I'm good at
Zelda // Sonic // Mario // Metroid // Ninja Gaiden // DMC // Gran Turismo // PGR4 // Forza // GTA // Streets of Rage // Bioshock // Mass Effect // Ico // GOW // Starcraft // Gradius // R-Type // Broken Sword // Metal Gear Solid // Geometry Wars // Burnout // Silent Hill // Resident Evil // Eternal Darkness // Portal // Mirror's Edge // Prototype // Bomberman // Street Fighter // Braid // Rayman // Pac-Man // Mega Man // Minesweeper (oh yeah!) // Deus Ex // Halo // Tekken // Wipeout // F-zero // Mario Kart // Castle Crashers // Ikaruga // Rez // Super Meat Boy // Guitar Hero // Beyond Good and Evil // Prince of Persia // Assassin's Creed // Jet Set Radio // Rogue Squadron // Point Blank // Time Crisis 3 // Bust-A-Move // Thief // Wii Sports // Condemned // Wik: Fable of Souls // more RPGs than I could reasonably mention // more oldskool than I could reasonably mention
Music: I do venture as diversely as I can with regards to music and often find beauty in new things, even if sometimes it takes a few listens to acclimatise, but I do have my preferences which tend more to the lyrical singer/songwriter and the varied and manifold generic categories of “rock”. Special other mention should go perhaps to 80s cheese and film/game soundtracks :-D By example:
Radiohead // The Cure // Nobuo Uematsu // Smashing Pumpkins // Kate Bush // David Ford // Easyworld // Cocteau Twins // Emancipator // Frank Turner // Mirah // The Smiths // Portishead // Daft Punk // Jeff Buckley // Joni Mitchell // Enya // At The Drive-in // Sigur Ros // Bjork // Ocean Colour Scene // Depeche Mode // Tori Amos // Deathcab for Cutie // Jon Brion // Ennio Morricone // Madness // Kraftwerk // Coheed and Cambria // Pink Floyd // Crystal Castles // Pixies // Florence and the Machine // Modest Mouse // Brand New // Mogwai // Prodigy // RATM // Easy Star All-Stars // Lamb // Tool // Damien Rice
Films: Star Wars (IV – VI) // Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind // Into The Wild // The Science of Sleep // Vanilla Sky // Transformers (1986!) // Dune // Stargate // Blood Diamond // Battle Royale // Inception // Labyrinth // Monty Python and the Holy Grail // Edward Scissorhands // Black Swan // Falling Down // Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon // Up // The Lost Boys // Anchorman // Willow // The Breakfast Club // Stardust // Rain Man // Escape From New York // Short Circuit 2 // Once Upon a Time in The West // The Road // Scent of a Woman // See No Evil Hear No Evil // Legend // True Romance // Kingpin // Die Hard // The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen // Team America
TV: Oldschool Britcoms (Fawlty Towers // Blackadder // Allo Allo etc.) // most things food related (Man Vs. Food // Come Dine With Me) // Peep Show (I’m Mark) // Big Bang Theory (No wait, I’m Sheldon) // Inbetweeners (Actually I might be Will) // Alan Partridge (ok, I'm the pettiest and least charismatic of them all, Alan Partridge, AHA!) // Family Guy // Futurama // Scrubs. I do watch things other than comedy, but infrequently or in massive multi-season orgies.
Love (or perhaps merely romance)
Food (beyond its mere role as nutrition and sustenance)
Hmmm maybe it is a good topic if you read between the lines :). If you have a natural affinity for all these things, that puts us on very good footing. Add humour, mutual attraction and chemistry and we are win!
That selfishness will always eat into that effort, you just have to find a balance that your conscience can cope with, without ignoring the truth of what you're doing.
By example, platonic love is selfish, yet is also linked to engaging my full potential. It would be wrong and self-defeating to seek love solely for the purpose of personal improvement, yet in having that result it is somewhat less selfish to crave it. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
How "Hypocrisy" and "Preachiness" are usually of no significance if the point being expressed is valid. Instead they are more commonly ad hominem terms that we use to make us feel better about our own inadequacies.
That money rules the world, global economy is an impenetrable farce, and 99% of everything on Earth is overtly or covertly controlled by the way that farce plays out.
That we in "civilised society" are placed on the oppressing side of that farce. That most of us barely remain conscious of this, let alone manage to be selfless and resourceful enough to do anything meaningful about it. That giving a few quid to charity isn't the answer. That the answer is impossibly difficult to comprehend. That even if the answer were apparent, it would sit far too uncomfortably with our way of life for any of us to care. That I'm both hypocritical and preachy in thinking this, but that it remains true all the same.
Whether to just give up on caring because of the impossibility of the situation and my own inadequacies, and just honour the inequality by at least enjoying my own existence and performing relatively meaningless acts of "good" intent. Ay, there's the rub!
"Did I say I don't take myself too seriously?" Ooops! :)
If it's in that spirit, message me what you like, anything from the meaning of life and the universe to what's for dinner. It's always nice to hear about people's pursuits and interests though. I am a bit of an enthusiast of tl;dr (you may have noticed!). Unless it's literally going to take me an hour, I WILL read your message, so write freely (short or long), but with the next paragraph in mind.
Let's be upfront. If I don't message back in a week or so, it's probably the politest way of saying I'm not interested. If you can take the ego blow and you'd rather I message you back anyway, then just mention it in your own message. I won't say anything critical (you can ask why, but I may be disinclined to answer), I'll simply extend the courtesy of letting you know not to bother with me. It's how I expect to be treated myself.
**** BONUS ROUND ****
You are a chef, you like food or you wish to provide me with food :)
You answered "Yes" to the question "Have you ever spent more than 8 hours straight playing video games?", but aren't an addict, aren't in any way ashamed, and don't feel the need to make any apologies for yourself. If you answered "No, and anyone who does is a loser!" Then the door's <-------- THAT WAY. Don't let your prejudice consume you on the way out to do something worthwhile like watch a Hollyoaks omnibus :) Actually I take that sarcasm back, at its best Hollyoaks is some of the finest soft-core porn going.
I won't get all uppity if you have SPG corrections for me, in fact I will thank you. If you find 3 or more, you get a prize :-D