60Berkeley, United States
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My self-summary
Could be I'm happiest in natural places, but I love the nature of cities too. Grew up in Oak-Berk; one day I walked to a piano lesson near Cal through tear gas and rioting. My big brother was the activist back then; me, the observer.

Amorous but also independent. Don't like to pigeonhole or be pigeonholed; prefer to cultivate beginner's mind (another happy place).

Analytical but suggestible; playful, ethical, nerdy, patient. Love beauty but value it most in the heart and soul. A bit cagey, but also gullible--go figure, I'm left-handed. I go with my gut more than my head, even though the latter never seems to take a break.

I'm in an "open relationship" (my wife of 34 years). We parted ways sexually over 25 years ago, when I came out. I have no need to bring a guy into the sphere of that relationship in a social way. My wish (and why I'm here on OKCupid) is to have a good, caring, and fun connection with a swell guy.

I've had some wonderful relationships with men these years, including long-term partnering---yes, as an already "married man," and always totally above board. I've never been dishonest with her or with any guy about this. This is my path and history, how it unfolded; it was never a plan, of course, to be a "hetero-married gay guy"! Commitment and deep love are core for me. Though I'm not "partner" material in the traditional sense, then, I think I make a fast & true friend, and a passionate lover. Of course, the match has to be right! Apologies for all this text, but it's worth it being upfront, no?
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to do less, and learn again to be. I think I appreciate life more this way, and see things better--and show up better for people.

Worked for an age at an SF publisher, came out in my thirties, raised my daughter, co-reinvented my marriage, loved some fine men, continue to make music (bass and piano) and hike the mountains.

Now working as a freelance editor of book manuscripts. Have taught English to non-native speakers and coached 8th-graders in writing.

Love to read, think, and shoot the shit about books, events, music, movies, times & places, you name it. I'm not intellectual, just curious. I love to find the connections between things.

I get a lot of physical exercise and dance, but being outside is all I really need--it exercises the body and the soul.
I’m really good at
I'm a pretty good teacher. I think I appreciate the deep qualities of people and things. I love music and words and language, and have always worked and played with these. I try to listen deeply to people; this is work in progress.

I'm good at owning my own stuff, unpacking my own baggage---and admitting when I don't do that.

This all sounds sort of lofty when put into words. One of my fears is self-delusion (the hall of mirrors); another is taking myself too seriously. So I'm grateful to be a born goofball too. Can we goof off?
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably that I'm friendly. Come on, how would I know, really, what people "notice about me"? Or whether it really matters. Who hasn't been seduced by a first impression....
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Broad interests: if something is strong, original, brave, beautiful, incisive, inspiring, witty, etc., then I'm on board. If it's nihilistic or gratuitously violent or cruel, count me out, generally.

Currently on bedstand: Parade's End, by Ford Maddox Ford. And Notes of a Native Son, by James Baldwin. Music: listened tonight to Sonny Rollins--unbelievable. On the piano: I toil endlessly through Mozart sonatas. He is my inspiration (but the gods did not grace my hands: Wolfgang would gag hearing me play his works.) Now binge-streaming "House of Cards," and it's depressing the hell out of me. I keep saying to myself, "this is Shakespeare, just deal with it."

I like to be challenged and to have my assumptions up-ended. (Hmm, Freud might be right.) I also love to laugh and lose it, and I need more of that, dammit!

Food: Just bring it on. A modest meal in the wilds of the mountains tastes better than a night at Chez Panisse. Sort of.

Let's expand each other's viewsheds. It's half the fun of having a good friend. It's a big reason I'm here on this site.
Six things I could never do without
Not in any order: being outdoors--under the deep blue sky; warm connections with friends; kindness (in a word); conversation (good, real, inane); touch; and what's just beyond reach (that sounds corny, but I believes it, yes i does)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Balancing stuff: I think a lot about the people in my life. And about continually coming awake. And not losing the humor along the way. And I think about this damn compressed nerve in my arm way too much!
On a typical Friday night I am
I like to play with what's served up in the moment, and to create or co-create from there; and to be okay with just chilling. The magic is in the pauses, the spaces.

Anyway, it's the company you keep that matters. And that can also mean sweet solitude.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Oh really.
You should message me if
...well, if you're interested enough to introduce yourself after all this blah blah blah about me me me. Hey, I want to connect with someone, and get to know YOU, and why you're so lovable.

Favorite New Yorker cartoon: man at bar to woman: "But enough about me. What do you think about me?"

Oh, and I don't pay for OK Cupid premium services, so I'm not seeing likes and dislikes and all that.
The two of us