Jack of all trades, master of nothing.
"All I've ever wanted in life is that when I am, finally, covered in butt naked hoes, that I'm equally covered in perfect lighting..."
First and foremost, I like to have fun, be goofy, screw around, etc. I know when to be serious but most of the time what's the point? Keep up. 😊
I have a photo on here showing my ass and the amazing sunburn line I had from beaching without a shirt. It's meant to be playful, and a joke, and the fact that I have to explain that it's not actually inappropriate disgusts me and makes me hate people. Chill the f*** out.
Life is meant to be celebrated.
So, moving forward, I...
- have my shit together: job, car, college degree, etc ... this means something to someone, right?
- an actor. SURPRISE!!!
- extrovert... mostly.
- life of the party and/or just one to hang.
- enjoy the little things in life... like how my phone auto-corrects "ktown" to "orient" when I'm typing. This always gets me.
- have a weird thing with people touching my nose. It drives me insane.
- like to be tickled... just not by strangers. Weird, I know.
- beer/whiskey enthusiast.
- am a loyal friend/partner/lover/co-worker/relative.
- get horny when I'm bored.
- get lonely before I go to bed at night.
- am competitive to a fault.
- yell at the TV while watching sports.
- have goals and dreams which I will achieve.
- am quite straight forward and blunt.
- say "gal." Some find it endearing.
- would never call myself charming, but some have told me that I can pull it off. Eh.
- have a f***ed sense of humor.
- sleep naked from time to time.
- feel that post-sex high fives are highly underrated!
- give amazing massages.
- have a pretty great family.
- grew up in Washington and Alaska. I've also lived in Montana and Las Vegas.
- am extremely passionate. If I want something, I go get it.
- Love really hard. (Does this even make sense? Hmmm.)
- was programmed to be awesome. Period.
- am a bartender/mixologist.
- got a puppy the day the SEAHAWKS won the Super Bowl. His name is Blitz. He's with an amazing family in Phoenix now. I miss him.
***My initial messages... or ramblings, as they are most likely defined as... those ones, the ones that I send out... are usually more intended to strike conversation and show interest than they are to list the "top 5 things I liked about your profile." We can explore that stuff more whilest messaging or perhaps over a face-to-face. Cool?***
On more than one occasion, I've seen a gal's profile on here and thought "if I accidentally got her pregnant, I think I'd be okay with that." Now if that's not a true connection, I don't know what is. (I'm not sure if this is an appropriate joke or not.)
Blah, blah, blah... that's me. We always tell all the good stuff... You're perfect, I'm perfect, let's be imperfect together, yes?
Constantly on the search for the next adventure and trying to push my limits physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Infectious zest for life.
Somehow finding humor and joy in most things.
SHOWS - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dexter, Entourage, Community, 30 Rock, Raising Hope, The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, The Office, Top Gear, Adventure Time, Bob's Burgers, Archer, Flight of the Conchords, SportsCenter, any televised UFC event...
MUSIC - I'll give anything a shot. Yes, I actually mean this.
FOOD - Grandma's french toast.
- Hot Tubs
- The interwebs
- Hole in the wall karaoke bars
- Road trips/Camping/Bonfires
Not to sound like an asshole, but I'm not really looking for a long-term pen pal... Let's find something to do and hang out already.