33Saint Paul, United States
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My self-summary
I'm not a flashy man. I tried that once but it didn't work. These days I try to find happiness appreciating the little things in life, like the scent of fresh blossoms in spring, the warmth of the Sun on a cool day, or when I notice a stranger humbly thinking of someone else before themselves (as if that ever happens). I like fixing things, offensive jokes, and seeing how long I can make a pair of shoes last (I've got more than three years on my personal record, we'll see how the next ones match up). I'm the quintessential example of the old adage, "It's not what you know it's who you know," but unfortunately I'm on the short end of that one.
I'm also a huge 3rd Amendment supporter. If you think the government should be allowed to quarter soldiers in the homes of private citizens during peacetime, we are just not going to get along
What I’m doing with my life
Laughing at everything, especially at my own jokes. I figure if I don't, no one will.
I’m really good at
Writing online dating profiles. There's a business here. I'm thinking of moving to silicon valley.
The first things people usually notice about me
Apparently I have an uncanny ability to change the intelligence level of my dialogue on a dime. My work wife (who happens to be a dude) pointed it out and we both find it hilarious. One recent example: a discussion of the difference between 18th century British and French politics somehow turned into me bitching about obamacare. I can't remember how it happened, but I get a good laugh every time I think about it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Does Facebook count as a book? If it does, I don't read it.
Movies: Die Hard 2: Die Harder
TV: Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Music: Hall and Oates
Food: Fried Chicken
Six things I could never do without
Only my cat. Everything else is negotiable.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What I can do to help humanity. For Instance, I see a lot of shirtless dudes on the bike trails. It's a shame. This is America and no one should go without a basic need like clothing. To that end, I'm thinking of starting a non-profit called "Shirts for Dudes."
Why is the mullet so looked down upon in our society. Business in the front, party in the back grants utility that most haircuts only dream of.
On a typical Friday night I am
Dreaming of a way to make it at a career as a karaoke promoter
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was secretly hoping for the Brexit, but now that it's happened, I'm somewhat unsettled by it.
You should message me if
Clearly I have no idea what I'm talking about.
The two of us