28Portland, United States
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My self-summary
I'm just a man, just a guy, and a dude, and I'm probably hungry.

My likes include those robotic massage chairs, eating, incoherent jabbering, and hot tubbin'.

My dislikes include sunburns, petitioners, panhandlers, advertising, and being mauled by protected species.

If there was a word to describe me, it would be 'The Shit'. Which technically is two words. But it's all right. I do everything with the utmost perfektion the first time... every time.

According to my "Personality" tab, not even I would like me.

But sometimes (if the time is right), I bake marvelous apple pies.

UPDATE: Defied all my family's predictions and got married. Now I'm just here for the BS quizzes. Sorry ladies.
What I’m doing with my life
Crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and hearing the lamentations of their women.

And drinking Snapple.
I’m really good at
Cooking, bowling, and identifying personality disorders in other people.
The first things people usually notice about me
Ask other people.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm very well-read.

A couple of my favorite movies are The Godfather, Reservoir Dogs, Star Wars, and Dr. Strangelove.

I've a rather eclectic taste in music, and will listen to just about anything that isn't on the radio today.

My favorite dishes are mostly Italian, but Redneck, Mexican, and Chinese are all fighting it out for the number 2 spot.
Six things I could never do without
Food, water, air, sunlight, a decent temperature, and a pulse. That's about it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The meaninglessness of existence. Barring that I like to mess with people.
On a typical Friday night I am
staying up way too late enjoying my free time.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You should message me if
your little heart desires.
The two of us