52Oakland, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Some of us have known where we want to go with our lives from an early age. It's just take a while to get here.
The earliest memories I have of being a Dom were in kindergarten. I was always that little boy on the playground who managed to be The Doctor when we all played. In fact, I was the one who instigated it most of the time. And while I have had a few breaks from being a Dom over the years, mostly in an effort to find myself, I remain a strong, loving, sometimes playfully scary Dominant still. And while I still enjoy spending time discovering more about myself, at this point, I know who I am, I know what I want from life, and I know what I want with my partners.
I've lived most my life here in the bay area, although I've lived in London, San Diego and LA for short periods of time. In 2005 I finished my Masters in Business Administration, and I love riding my motorcycle. I taught my wife to ride a few years ago and she recently purchased a really great bike. Among my favorite fetishes are, etiquette books, strong and intelligent women, silver tea sets. I'm also really into staying healthy and plan to live to be 110 and in good health all the way. To accomplish that, I work out at the gym 3-5 days a week and really love it, and eat really well about 90% of the time. Occasionally though, I cut loose from the healthy food with some dark chocolate and scotch, pizza and other yummies.

I am a Daddy, Dominant, and big hearted
What I’m doing with my life
The most important thing going on in my life right now is my relationship with my wife/slave. In every way I have been able to discover, she is the woman I have always wanted to be with. We have an amazingly loving and beautiful polyamorous relationship. We had a daughter in January 2013 and will be holding at one child...one is plenty!

Just a note on my poly experience since people often ask. I've been poly all my life. I can recall memories from my earliest childhood, trying to fathom why if someone loved one person, that would prevent them from also loving another person at the same time. I also never understood why anyone would want to tell someone they love, that they can't also love someone else. It still doesn't make sense to me. All the relationships I've been in have been poly, except for my first one when I was 17. I've had some amazing successes, and learned many lessons along the way. I'd say I'm a seasoned polyamorist which reminds me of the saying that seasoning requires two essential items: heat and time.

My wife and I, along with her boyfriend and his girlfriend, all bought a duplex together in Berkeley so I have that level of commitment to polyamory as a chosen way of life. It also speaks to how much space we make in our life for those we love.

Lastly, one of my biggest life callings is creating safe opportunities for people to discover who they are within the realm of Kink/BDSM, and all that fall under that umbrella. To that end, I founded a local BDSM non-profit called Boundless [BoundlessEvents.org] with a mission that follows my calling. We hold munches, play parties and a yearly four day retreat at a beautiful, secluded resort about 2 hours north of San Francisco. I am very passionate about Boundless as it's my way of giving back to a world that has given me so much over the years.
I’m really good at
Building intense, BDSM, kinky, loving, relationships and promoting the values of the kink community. Knowing when to push, and when to support. Understanding people from their map of reality and leading people towards a common vision. Being a great Daddy/Dominant to submissive women, along with girls and boys of all ages.
For someone who is a Totally Hard Ass Dom (smile/joke), I am an equally great hugger and cuddler.
I also teach classes on D/s negotiation as well as organize leather play parties and events.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm a lot bigger on the inside than on the outside.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm one of those people that believes that ones movie and book choices says a lot about someone. Here are my lists. Feel free to drop me a not if something here inspires you to contact me.

Stranger in a Strange Land
The Market Place
Harvard Business Review (Yea, I'm kind of an MBA pervert too...)
Any books on theoretical physics by Lawrence Krauss

Logan's Run, Omeaga Man, Soilent Green, Zardoz, Fight Club, 2001, THX1138, Alien, Just about any Sci-Fi from 1940 - 1979, The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) and my vote for the best Sci-Fi movie ever, Blade Runner, Planet of the Apes (original)

Dr. Strangelove, Shaun of the Dead, Any Monty Python movie, This is Spinaltap, Trainspotting,, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Duck Soup, 12 Monkeys, Wes Anderson films

Period movies like Elizabeth, Orlando.

Hotties that get my blood going
Secretary, Orlando

Citizen Kane, Lawrence of Arabia, Clockwork Orange, Rope, Sparticus and any of the Charleston Heston/gladiator films of the 1950s, Casablanca, Maltese Falcon, The Philadelphia Story or just about any Katherine Hepburn film

The Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, Singing In The Rain

Boogie Nights, Silence of the Lambs

The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Science Channel, History Channel, South Park, Battlestar Galactica,
The Prisoner (Original Series), House of Cards, Top Gear
Six things I could never do without
The ability to connect with people
People I love, although that's not one thing.
The internet
Conversations that engage my intellect
Dark Chocolate
My motorcycle
I spend a lot of time thinking about
BDSM, fun things to do with people, and my biggest fetish: intelligent women.
On a typical Friday night I am
There are several scenarios that are likely to occur on a Friday or Saturday night (in no particular order):

- Going to a fun, sexy, private play party.
- Taking some down time at home after a long week.
- Hanging at home, watching a with chosen family
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You know, this is totally not going to sound Dominant to some, but I like cleaning my home. There is something about organizing things, creating order out of chaos, getting things together the way I like it, vacuuming and stuff like that that really works for me. Maybe that's not terribly private, but it does say a lot about me. I'm just an organizer and manager at heart.
I'm also a big cuddly snuggler a lot of the time. But don't tell anyone! I don't want to give away my tough, Domly exterior! :) Also, never ask me about my stuffed animal collection! OK...go ahead. A Tough Ass Dom like me can take it ;)
You should message me if
You are interested in DS (Dominance and [[submission, kink, healthy and functional polyamorous relationships. Or if you are a submissive looking for a Dominant. Or Just want to say hello!
And feel free to message me for no good reason at all. I love random meetings with people.

One last note, the OKC should offer fuzzy age ranges for someone the "I'm looking for" section. Don't take those ranges as limits in either direction. When it comes to age, what I'm looking for is someone who is aware enough to consent, intelligent enough to get it, and young enough to play. I've had great experiences with people of all ages.

I also have a FL profile at Daddy_James. You may also want to look at BoundlessEvents.org to learn about the community I'm leading.

If you don't know what FL is, feel free to ask.
The two of us