42Philadelphia, United States
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My self-summary
I stand an eighth of an inch shy of five eight.
Don’t want to seem like a liar so I state
off the bat my height and weight, which by the way
is under 158 - a compact size and shape.
I metabolize in haste a large fries and shake,
the carbohydrates that are loaded on my plate.
Eating what I please won’t affect my stride and gait.
I will succeed and not simply try to escape
if I see the devil’s daughter and each of her bridesmaids
I’ll run and hide away at Rite Aid during their tirades.
I want to find a date; I hate to hibernate
behind a keyboard and a screen in cyberspace.
I have to go forward so clean I wipe the slate.
I’ve been burned but wanna sit beside a fireplace
night and day with a primate who makes my pupils dilate
so here I go again like Whitesnake.
What I’m doing with my life
At first I was flustered and nervous but I mustered the courage
to get cussed out and worse doing customer service.
I’m really good at
I almost have no friends but I do have my own ends
and I can rap and rock circles around you like Stonehenge.
The first things people usually notice about me
It’s got to be the way my lower lip sticks out
under my big mouth
as luscious and prominent as a pig’s snout.
But the fact remains I’ve never used chewing tobacco
because of mouth cancer
and what it’ll do to my cash flow.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I enjoyed spending all evening
reading The Long Walk from Stephen King.

I tend to enjoy romantic comedies
and never got into the program Quantum Leap.
I will never again commit to TV shows.
because the DVD release may be nixed by a CEO.
So I never paid attention to Seventh Heaven
but the time saved opened the door to fallin’ for Evanescence.
So the lesson is I love heavy metal but then again
I also like pop and church hymns and Eminem.

Since I came to PA my favorites are cheesesteak and cheesecake.
During heat waves you might see me eat grapes.
I won’t swallow food for a guy named Pete’s sake
but a Skyline 3-Way that I might find on eBay.
Six things I could never do without
I need a hot wife who kind of reminds me of Posh Spice
to put my first record in the spotlight.
And a lawyer to make sure imposters will not defy my copyright
a bodyguard, for my mouth can outrun Roddy White.
I need my Reeboks tied so I can leave the scene of a rockslide.
and pot pies to go with dihydrogen monoxide.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Of course I think a lot about sex
and whether my hoped-for marriage is a vow or a hex
and whether I can climb Mount Everest in an hour or less
and if so, would the doubters be astounded, impressed?
On a typical Friday night I am
I’m in East Conshy trying to keep free of poverty.
Getting money to help stimulate the economy.
You should message me if
You should message me if you feel that I can effectively
beat all of your friends and probably you in Jeopardy
and awaken a hater from his stupor and lethargy
but keep the same hater at bay like the Chesapeake.
The two of us