32Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
As you search through the web for a man you can date
You will try to discern the OK from the great
There will be many selfies of bros with their abs
And the rugged outdoorsmen who fish and catch crabs

Some are hip with long beards and a bike with one gear
Most will talk of their time spent abroad for one year
They will brag of their journeys so far and so wide
And their hobbies including a love to hang glide

There is food to discuss: what they like, what they don’t.
And restrictions thereof: what they can’t, what they won’t.
You go back to your own set of guidelines to eat
To decide if it even makes sense to go meet

They work hard at their jobs and they want you to know
That they love what they do. Inner angst does not show
But passions and interests and facets galore
Guaranteeing of them that you never will bore

They know art, they know music, and books and TV
Good taste on display, but of course you agree
Some come off kinda rough, self-absorbed and unkind
You swipe left through those guys ‘til a sweetie you find

And you swipe and you swipe, for they all look the same!
And you land on a poem that’s really quite lame
To stand out on this site is a challenge so big
And I hope Dr. Seuss is a gimmick you dig
What I’m doing with my life
I am a software engineer at a large tech company working on distributed systems that power cloud services. The project is a ton of fun, and my job is a great privilege.
I’m really good at
dinner parties. It's true, though it sounds cliché.

swing dancing. In particular, I do Lindy Hop, Balboa, and Charleston.

writing. My Facebook friends seem to find my status updates entertaining. Yelp bribes me with free booze in exchange for my reviews.

cooking. To be precise, I'm really good at it only when I'm not really bad at it.
The first things people usually notice about me
my beautiful ass. Apparently, it's great. I guess it's not the very first thing people notice about me, but they do get around to it eventually.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I once subjected David Sedaris to my writing. I showed him a piece comprising observations about the long escalators in London. In particular, I noted how they provided a long window of time and a wide range of angles with which one could scope out other escalator-goers. Sedaris was living in the UK at the time, and seemed to agree with my points, but didn't seem to encourage me as a writer.

If you haven't seen What We Do in the Shadows, drop this profile and forget about me. Go watch it. Whatever potential joy you could possibly obtain through knowing me for any length of time, even a lifetime, is handily eclipsed by the hilarity of its 85 minutes. You'll thank me later.

Silicon Valley, the TV show, is shockingly accurate and hilarious. Thank you, Mike Judge. Westworld is absolutely brilliant.

Do you like jazz? Pre-bop or post-bop? If it's the former, let's chat. If it's the latter, I have lost interest in you. kthxbye

As for food, I am quite adventurous and appreciate almost everything, except for bad food. And cilantro. Don't let that vile herb come anywhere near me. I have long considered opening a restaurant called No Cilantro. It would offer a fusion of Mexican, Indian, and Vietnamese cuisines in a safe cilantro-free environment. You laugh now, but mark my words, cilantro-free is the next gluten-free.

(If you are inclined to send me a message expressing bewilderment at my aversion to cilantro, I recommend first reading some of the science behind it: http://www.flavourjournal.com/content/1/1/22
I also have had my genome sequenced, and have a confirmed anti-cilantro genotype)
Six things I could never do without
Various supportive people in my life. Thanks to you. You know who you are.
Transport where I'm not the one who is driving
Good grammar
Cheese from anywhere except for Consider Bardwell Farm. I'm so over it.
The Curry-Howard isomorphism
I spend a lot of time thinking about
why do we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?

Ok folks, sorry, that one wasn't original. I'll do better next time.
On a typical Friday night I am
at the Whitney Museum.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've got a bidet in my apartment.
You should message me if
you want to do something about that that butterfly in your stomach that inevitably arose from reading my profile.
The two of us