30Manchester, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
I work pretty unsociable hours so don't get much time to meet people not through work, so here I am.

Essentially I'm looking for a breathing human female to join my Koresh style guns, religion 'n' shagging ranch. Ideal candidates will be subordinate, quiet and able to take a punch.

More realistically I'm looking for someone smart and engaging with a sense of humour. The ability to take a punch is still pretty much a deal breaker.

Probably add me on Snapchat: jawstheshark
What I’m doing with my life
Working full time in a bar and attempting some vague notion of self betterment. Oh, I write and host a quiz too.
I’m really good at
High functioning alcoholism, hosting quizzes
The first things people usually notice about me
My height or my beard. Both are larger than average.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Iain Banks, Charles Bukowski, Kurt Vonnegut Jr, Hunter S Thompson, Chuck Palahniuk (because I'm so COOL and ALTERNATIVE and ANTI ESTABLISHMENT), Hubert Selby Jr, currently working through Anton Szandor LaVey's books on Satanism

Anything by Aronofsky, splashy horror films. I'm going to leave it there because I don't want to be here all day.

Arrested Development, Peep Show, Battlestar Galactica, Modern Family, Generation Kill, Frasier, Breaking Bad, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Wire, Sherlock, Alan Partridge, The Office (US & UK), Luther, The West Wing

Anything that isn't shit.
Six things I could never do without
Booze, cigs, (x3)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The etiquette for when someone from interdates comes into my bar.

Things I might do, ie:

"Might set fire to my beard"
"Might replace my hands with robotic ones"
"Might become a renowned purveyor of fine earthenware"
"Might get a wifi card in my head so I can livetweet literally everything I think"
On a typical Friday night I am
At work. Sundays and Mondays are my weekends
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Once I was sat in a twee cafe in the northern quarter, eating a falafel and halloumi wrap, wearing a 65daysofstatic t-shirt, thick rimmed glasses and a beard when the theme tune from Portlandia came on over the PA. I tweeted about it. I am still unsure how I feel about the occurrence.
You should message me if
You can teach me things I don't already know or you are Erin from the American version of The Office
The two of us