40Ealing, United Kingdom
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I've realised that, as of late, people seem to think I'm rather straight. At least when they see me. This doesn't bother me although feel free to scratch a little deeper. In other words, I'm far from straight.

**Update** Latest ambition is to grow old rocking back and forth on a porch with long white dreadlocks (me, not the porch), smelling of piss and scaring the local kids. *stop*

Too easy to over describe requirements but if you know your Heidegger from your hero turtles then this could be interesting.

Recently returned to these shores after a 11 years overseas. It's not as cold as I remember! If you have an intelligent sense of humour and aren't afraid of stringing more than two words together then drop me a line.

If you believe in the invisible hand of the market, regularly use the phrase 'kids these days' followed by a pronounced tutting, and enjoy a read of the Daily Mail with your breakfast then we're probably NOT going to get along.

What have I done? I always reject profiles that start by listing what they don't like! I've become one of 'them'!

Relaxed, intelligent and witty company sought. I've been told I am all three of these things and on only a few occasions has a negative prefix been added. And if you think you can help me escape 'them' then all the better.

I'm a current affairs addict. Former journalist, sometime stand-up comedian. Utterly disorganised. Very open minded. Well traveled, intelligent and often scatty.

I recently acquired a ukelele. I play terribly.

When people ask me what music I like I always reply "whatever sounds good". I think i'm being witty. Everyone else rolls their eyes.

I have all my own teeth. Allegedly.

I read too much. I'm about to start a PhD in Philosophy. Ergo my ability to procrastinate is extraordinary but I prefer to procrastinate in company.

I dress. Occasionally.

The rest? Well we can make that up as we go.
What I’m doing with my life
Look. If you can fund my PhD i'll do anything you want me to. I'll probably do it anyway but nothing wrong with an ambit claim.

So due to funding cuts, still no PhD. Instead I work almost every night hosting events and almost every day writing and organising events. Stand up comedy, quizzes and um... Speed dating. Hey, it pays.
I’m really good at
Finding the absurd.

Explaining in simple terms, highly complex philosophical concepts.

Sounding like a twat.
The first things people usually notice about me
The look of abject desperation in my eyes?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Oh please. Favourites? What day of the week is it? What time of day? Sheesh.
Six things I could never do without

Learning to count.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why he couldn't do that, Dave.


And as of five minutes ago, whether I should be concerned about the outcomes of some of the tests I've taken on here.

Latterly, the fact that on my tests I'm an exact match with myself.

If the person who left a love heart sweet with the words "I love you" written in pink, on every seat in my train carriage yesterday is a beautiful selfless person... or needs to be hurt. Badly.
On a typical Friday night I am
rather happy.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once had a twenty minute conversation with someone about if test tube babies have belly buttons and if so, how. They were joking. I wasn't.

I was on a recent, very cheesy, reality TV show.

I once had crush on Ian Astbury from the cult after getting drunk with him for 3 days in Lhasa.

I'm right handed but left footed.

I once tried to write a 4000 word short story using nothing but cliche.
You should message me if
You're only relatively sane.

If you're a classically trained musician then I'm yours without question. We all have our kinks after all.

You're Gyorgy Ligeti.

You're not Gyorgy Ligeti. That would be limiting.

Berocca is more than just a hangover helper. It's a lifestyle choice.

Paradox makes sense to you and Eigen states freak you out in that belly turning, is the plane going down, god i'm excited, wind through my hair with a hint of slightly inappropriate sexual feelings kind of way.

You're interested in exploration of the kink variety.

You understand and are happy with my 'available' status.
The two of us