"No. There is too much. Let me sum up."
Amen, Inigo. How about I sum up in one word?
Let’s see. Fun-loving? Everybody's fun-loving. Who doesn't love fun? I bet Fun would get lots of messages on OKCupid. Hmm. Down-to-earth? Gravity and I do have a strong working relationship. Sometimes stronger than I'd like. Maybe...sweet? I've a tooth that is. Thoughtful? I'm filled with thoughts! Bacon? I don't see how that's relevant. Dreamy? Not really. Dreamer? Much closer. Smart? Silly? Friendly? Nerdy dorky funky funny goofy smiley grinny skinny dancy chancy wearin' pantsy sneezy breezy never sleazy now perhaps a little dizzy... One word, come on, dig deep...
I’ve got it! In a word, I'm...
Then, one day, he met a girl. She wasn't a princess. She wasn't in distress. And he didn't know what a damsel was until just a minute ago when he looked it up, but he's pretty sure she wasn't that either. Anyway, he met a girl. And they hit it off. And then...
Wait, hold on. The rest of the pages are blank. Odd.
Writing concisely. That's a lie.
Writing code. In case my boss reads this.
Listening. People are fascinating.
Shrugging. Not, like, the physical act. I don't fancy myself an Olympian shrugger, for that would be preposterous. (Have you seen those guys?) More like, life's a hoot for those who laugh at themselves. Embarrassing moments are just funny stories being born.
Cooking, remembering things, identifying car models, having seen Pretty Woman, knowing pop music, fitting in at dive bars...and by that, I mean I'm lousy at those things. Moving on!
Being an inverted Snickers bar: nutty on the outside, sweet on the inside. The nougat represents my tolerance for imperfect metaphors and hijacked profile questions.
"My, my. Here come the Fuzz."
"I've got a bad feeling about this."
"Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things."
"And why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."
"Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?"
"'Cause how you get there is the worthier part."
"I think I'm quite ready for another adventure."
"Oh yeah. It's all coming together."
"To infinity, and beyond!"
"As you wish."
"It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to."
The color green
Instant pancake mix
Sharp pencils and fresh paper
Counting to six
That's the least I could do for my pal Future, given all the dynamite stuff I hope he has on deck. Good health, good friends, bad jokes. A job that's a blast. A wife who I still can't believe is as crazy about me as I am about her. Enough money to avoid its stresses. A summer cabin on a lake. And, also, life -- maybe adventures, maybe kids, maybe some of both.
Man, Dreamville. You're pretty cheesy, but you totally kick ass.
The sinful scent of theater popcorn
The rhythmic wheezing of a bicycle pump
The thunderous chants of the ECS at kickoff
The quiet cacophony of that hole-in-wall Italian place
The mischievous clatter of dice and pieces and chips and snacks
The fuzzy warmth of a mug clutched through a fleece blanket
The taste of grass a few feet short of a fallen Frisbee
That gut soreness from laughing to tears at the transcendent wonder of Bad Action Movie Friday: Vin Diesel Double Fiesel