I'm an American living in Finland. Currently in an intermediate Finnish class.
I've found Finnish women are nice, but aren't so good at staying put. Not a problem, but at some point I would like an actual girlfriend. Crazy idea, no?
The kind of girl I want has to do three things:
1) Inspire my creativity. I'm a writer (published, even!). And an artist. And an enthusiastic reader. And a million other things I want to be if I just had someone to do them with. I want someone that ignites that. I want someone that understands what it is to have all sorts of crazy ideas bursting out of your head and needing to let them out and show them to people. I want someone that knows what it's like to do something creative or artistic. I don't care if it's singing or reading or drawing or playing the flute or acting or practicing underwater basket-weaving. I don't even care if you're particularly good at it. Just have a passion for *something.* Or be passionate about something that the rest of the world considers absolutely irrelevant. Because you like it, and that makes it important. Manga, 1930s pulp literature, Egyptian tombs, interesting boils of Renaissance Italy, it doesn't matter, and it doesn't matter if *I* care about it. What's important is that *you* have something you care about and are enthusiastic about and will show that enthusiasm to people (to ME!!!) and do something besides sitting in front of the goddamn television (or hanging out in bars) and rotting your mind away.
I want a reader. Yes! Someone who likes reading and is always on the lookout for the next book on their list! Readers tend to have imagination.
It's really sick. I'm 33 years old and have always managed to end up around these bottom-feeders that don't do anything, don't want to do anything, and act offended that I want to do things. My favorite are the people who do a lot of things, tell me all about them, but then when I start seeing them they stop that since "Now it's time to be serious." AAAHHHHHHHH!!! YOU ARE SO DUMPED! In my free time, I read, I write, and I study the traditions of art forms that most people believe are pure trash. When I'm actually with someone, I don't want to "hang out." I want to DO STUFF. Or else I'd stay home and do the things I do when I'm alone. That's how I relax. I don't need help to relax. I need people to do things with.
Brains, people. And activity. Both physical and mental. They are more important than your tits.
2) Be a real person. Say what you mean and mean what you say and speak your damn mind. People shouldn't be a mystery novel. If you're on a dating site, YOU WANT TO MEET PEOPLE. So don't act like you're some frail little victim-to-be in a dark alley when someone tries to talk to you. Don't sit around and wonder why you aren't being asked to do the things you want. STAND UP. TALK! I thought this was Europe. Empowered women! Where the hell are you?
And stay away from this "woman logic" crap. Little tests to see if the guy REALLY cares. I'm an open damn book. If I say I like something about you, don't say to me the next day that you've changed that as a test. If I like you, there are reasons. Not some nebulous spirit that is vaguely "you" that I'm supposed to fall in love with or something. You are the things you do, the things you are. If you change yourself, then my opinion of you will change to fit. This isn't rocket science. I like what I like. I won't lie to you. But I'm not a slave, either.
3) Be a wildcat in bed. I know, I know, it's bad form to mention sex on a dating site (like none of you reading this actually like sex, right?), but if you suck in bed, then it really doesn't matter what you're personality is like or what you look like. Being satisfied in bed is important to me (and if you say it isn't important to you, you're lying). Sorry. :P But it's OK. My standards for "good in bed" aren't some ridiculous ideal. I've just lived my sexual life by one standard: Good lovers don't say no. If a woman has some wild, crazy, and/or stupid idea... of course I'll try it! That's what makes it *fun*! But, again, all I seem to find are these unimaginative women that seem to freak out at the idea of having *fun* in bed.
In short: I'm not stupid, I'm not boring, and I'm not ugly. I'm tired of being with idiots just to deal with loneliness. There are good people... no, to hell with good. I've been with good people that are about as exciting as watching grass grow. There are INTERESTING PEOPLE out there that will wipe all this sarcasm and disillusionment away. Where are you?
If you want to talk more, my messenger address is firstname.lastname@example.org...
IRC Galleria & Suomi24 Nickname: JimLotFP
I am imaginative, intense, and a bit confused
Only for other people's plans, mind you. For my own, I will figure out my plan with stunning precision, based on the most improbable coincidences and false assumptions, then wonder why everything fell apart.
So yeah. Is this making you horny yet? No?
I'm a very good Dungeon Master. With out of print D&D editions, not this new stuff.
So how 'bout now?
I like heavy metal, mostly. I came in with death metal in the early 90s and now I like traditional metal and prog/metal hybrids. My favorites have been Hammers of Misfortune, Opeth, and Cathedral. My favorite bands of the past year are Reverend Bizarre, Upwards of Endtime, The Gates of Slumber, Dawnbringer, and Blotted Science. I like some prog rock like Comus, King Crimson, Yes, Hackett-era Genesis, and old Rush. I also have a serious love for Deep Purple (Marks II & III) and Dio-era Rainbow.
Princess Bride and Army of Darkness are my two favorites... into intense and obscure horror movies... and pretty much any sci-fi or fantasy movie without a ton of computer special effects, and nothing that tries to be 'too cute' with their dialogue. Story ahead of visuals... Also love goofy comedy like Top Secret, Airplane kind of stuff, and fantastically bad cinema like Troll 2, Battlefield Earth, and Gone Fishin.
Six? umm... food and water?
My next writing project (and not enough time thinking about my CURRENT writing project).
Anyway, I use online networking sites to meet people for many reasons:
One, I often can't tell a 15 year old from a 25 year old. That's been awkward. These sites tend to list ages.
Two, looks are nice and all but I can't imagine trying to approach someone knowing absolutely nothing about them but their looks. You could be the most beautiful person on Earth but if there's nothing between your ears then you're not good for much more than spending the night. But even if your face looks like it's been hit with a sledgehammer, you could be really cool and interesting and I'd want to be around you... but if all I know about you is how you look, I got nothing. "Hi, you're pretty." oooo, that's conversation.
Three, I don't drink and don't much like being in bars unless I'm seeing a band. And when I say I want to meet someone, people suggest bars. bleh. Then they ask "What do you like to do?" um, read and listen to music. And even I'm not creepy enough to hang out in the library waiting to pounce on any girl unfortunate enough to wander in the fantasy section.
Four, the last time I actually listened to my friends and tried to approach a cute girl in public (at a concert), she RAN AWAY AND HID. I didn't even get to say anything. There's a confidence builder.
... in summary, I'm awful at being concise. Point is, I'm awful on the approach, but generally OK once I'm in.