JoelTurt
41 Santa Barbara, United States
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JoelTurt
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My self-summary
I'm sweet stuff. I've received four messages. Is that normal?

Update: I've now gotten five messages.
Pretty sure I'm one the more popular guys on here. This is all a bit overwhelming.

To save you some trouble -my favorite girls are the ones who describe themselves as awesome. They work hard and they play hard.

Do you say you're good at anything you put your mind to? It is probably because you're awesome and you work hard.

I love a girl who posts pictures of her and friends out and about. I think I've figured out which one you are, but most of you are hot, so it doesn't really matter. Surprise me on the first date. What's important is that you've made it clear how important your 5 besties are to you and how much you treasure your weekend adventures with them. I love knowing that it will be smooth sailing integrating our potential relationship with your girlfriends. I mean they've loved all your exes and he loved them, right?

Also, please declare that you are drama free. Because nothing screams, "I'm full of drama" like forgetting to mention that you're drama free and don't have time for that.
What I’m doing with my life
Just hanging.

Trying to hold it in.

Or to quote my favorite girls "enjoying it" and "living it"
I’m really good at
Holding it in.

My last girlfriend said I didn't sexually satisfy here. A small part of me knows she's right.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm always shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite song in the world is from the Joe's Garage by Frank Zappa; it's called "Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?"

I really like girls who post pictures using snapchat filters. Dudes love girls who know how to filter.
The six things I could never do without
Bathrooms
Port-A-Porty
Johnny on the spot
Port-a-let
Trees
Shrubs
Pools
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Don't spend a lot of time on this, but why do woman post mustache pictures? Is that really the best way to attract a guy?

None of you all have the stash that I got anyways. Mine is sweet and bushy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Wishing I had a girlfriend, otherwise I wouldn't be on here.

After working hard all week, I'm playing hard. Friday nights are anything but typical. Always something new.

Or maybe I'm home and in bed at 8:00 because screw it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
As a child, Gomer Pyle, USMC was my favorite show.

If you really want to turn me on, your answer is:
"I'll tell you in person"
"Not gonna reveal anything here"
Or "I'm on OKCupid"
You should message me if
You're really good at guessing the number of Jelly Beans in the jar. I never get that right.

Someday I'd like to erase everything but the good looking picture of me and then just write here "Ask me anything. I'm an open book." I won't reply to anybody.
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