29San Antonio, United States
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My self-summary
My name is Johnny. Hi! A little about myself:

I would describe my style as... a vampire pirate... who plays guitar in a band... poorly... like, the band isn't even very good, but, we don't do it for the fame, we do it for the music, man.

Realistically I am neither a vampire, nor am I a pirate. I don't even play in a band. I mean, I have a guitar mounted on my wall, but that's as far as my involvement in music goes. I've always wanted to learn though. If you have an ounce of musical ability, I will be insanely impressed.

I am an artist. And not the starving kind, oh no. I am a part of the design team for a company that has really taken off and soared since my team's arrival. Maybe I'm selling myself too short... To be perfectly honest, the whole experience has been surreal from day one. I can't go into too too many details, but I'll just say that I am one of two artists working on a team of corporate staff consisting of about 12 people. If the company keeps growing at the rate that it has been over the course of 2015, then by the end of 2016 my ass will be Oprah rich. And you can bet your tits the first thing I'll do is hire a butler and call him Alfred, no matter what his real name may be.

On a semi-related note, I am a nerd. Like, a dress up for Comic-con and camp for the weekend at a renaissance faire type of nerd. If you've never done either of those things, then I WILL drag you along with me when I go, and you WILL have an unexpectedly amazing time.

When I set my mind to something, I do it. No 'maybes' about it. I wanted a tattoo machine, so I purchased one. Little by little, I practice on grapefruits and attempt to learn the craft when I have the time. I wanted to write a book, so I sat at my laptop and typed away. Chapter 5 is coming along nicely, thank you. I want to learn how to breath fire, so I'm looking at torches and learning how not to set my head on fire. Like I said, when I decide to do something, I do it. Anyone can talky talky. It takes courage to actually do things. Shia said it best.

I'm easy to get along with. People tend to like my humor and generally relaxed demeanor. I'm the guy that plans things out, but isn't afraid to adapt to change as needed. I enjoy going to comedy clubs, and I'll never pass on an opportunity to see some good live music.

I'd like to take this time to say that first and foremost I am NOT LOOKING for anything in particular here, or anywhere. I am looking for new friends. If something more happens, then cool. If we end up getting naked and bumping uglies, then so be it. I am not, and I will repeat this, I am NOT looking to settle down or start a new family. Let's just hang out, have fun, grab life by the scrote and enjoy things as they happen.
What I’m doing with my life
I write. I create. I make websites a little more pleasurable to look at, for a modest price. I teach when I get the chance. I work hard to make a decent living, and I never find myself in need of material things. I do what I can to make the most of my life. Any questions? Feel free to ask.
I’m really good at
Drawing, writing, loving, and biting.
The first things people usually notice about me
My tits.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Name of the Wind, Napalm and Silly Putty, The God Delusion, The Blade Itself, When Will Jesus Bring The Porkchops?, Acacia

Movies: The Big Lebowski, Tucker and Dale VS Evil, Pulp Fiction, Shaolin Soccer, V for Vendetta, Shaun of the Dead, Spirited Away, High Fidelity

Shows: Penn and Teller: Bullshit!, Boondocks, Game of Thrones, Clone High, House, Heroes, Breaking Bad, Mythbusters, Adventure Time, Rocko's Modern Life, The Adventures of Pete and Pete

Music: Pink Floyd, Gorillaz, Aerosmith, Daft Punk, Dream Theater, Kid Cudi, Nine Inch Nails, Weird Al Yankovic, Guns N' Roses, Alice in Videoland, ZZ Top, The Beatles, Flogging Molly, Rush, Rammstein, Tenacious D, Incubus, The Doors, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Food: Anything and everything. For reals. I'm not picky. Like, at all.
Six things I could never do without
1. Manly bubble baths.
2. Music
3. Interesting company and good conversation.
4. This cursed phone.
5. Waking up to the smell of bacon. Who doesn't enjoy this? Vegetarians? What smell do they wake up to? Certainly not sizzling bacon. Sizzling tofu perhaps?
6. The freedom to bitch and whine and moan and cry and scream and complain about things that I can't change until your ears bleed. God bless America.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Oh, you know, life n' shit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Going out and having fun with some friends. Where? Who knows.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My manly bubble baths.
You should message me if
Message me if you think you're the shit. I'm always open to meeting interesting new people. Simple as that. Fair warning. If we chat and I randomly stop replying, it's probably because I've learned enough about you to assume that you are kind of a douche. Sometimes it's cute, don't get me wrong, I can totally deal with a mild dickishness. But when you are being a full on throbbing weiner, I will ignore you. I have a dick of my own to deal with. I don't want to abide another one. Girls, being rude may not deter losers who will desperately kiss your ass with the hopes of receiving pity sex, but it will deter me. I don't need or want that negativity in my life.. Treat others with respect regardless of their gender and have some goddamned humility, will ya? I promise I will do the same for you.
The two of us