34Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
My self-summary? I'm an endlessly loyal, honest-to-a-fault kind of guy whose whole purpose in life is to make people laugh and paraphrase Roger Rabbit. I've been a Cubs fan since conception and I cried tears of joy when they made it to the World Series and felt a euphoric sense of relief when they won it all. The Grammarly Chrome extension saves me from making typos of which I make lots of because I type really fast. That's not a humblebrag, that'd be a really pathetic humblebrag. It's just that I learned how to design websites when I was 13 and it has basically been my livelihood so I've spent the last 20 years basically sitting in front of a computer and I hope I never have to make another website for a client ever again because FFS they can all go fly a kite, Gretchen.

Now that I'm in Chicago it's starting to open up the creative floodgates that used to run wild when I was in college. The floodgates that were locked up because being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be, but at least I can rent a car, right? That's a cool perk.

Oh yeah, I'm a filmmaker. Howdy!
What I’m doing with my life
Currently attending The Harold Ramis Film School at The Second City where they are teaching me how to finally be funny. The program is VERY intensive. It's basically like having a part time job, but one of those part time jobs where your employer is trying to milk as many hours out of you as possible without paying you a full time wage, so it's like "Hey you're part time, so you're gonna be working 35-39 hours a week which won't give you time to do anything else professionally outside of work unless you want to crush your own spirit by working 60-80 hours a week and not sleeping"

But seriously, it's a ton of work and takes up a lot of my time, but when I'm not doing that I'm attempting to exercise by the sheer virtue of exploring this city. Currently got a sweet path carved out that takes me through Andersonville and onto the lakefront. It's scenic and serene and peaceful and I love it. I also like those raccoons in Lincoln Park that come out to eat croutons that an old man feeds once in a while. They're pretty chill.

Other than that I've been spending a lot of time writing fake missed connections on Craigslist to keep my creative writing sharp. "I saw you in the bread aisle, but the only buns I wanted weren't on a shelf" is mine if you ever come across it.
I’m really good at
Making decadent peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, spending money on interesting and/or useless things, fawning over filmmaking equipment, ignoring my dentist, throwing away the yellow pages, driving a car safely like a God damn champion, and saying the words/phrases "apparently", "here's the thing", "but, uh, yeah, so...", and many many more.

Haha, ahhhhh I'm just kidding, I don't have a dentist.
The first things people usually notice about me
My voice is as deep as the ocean is... deep, I guess. Because I have zero singing talent, but great deep voice talent, if/when I ever sing karaoke (basically when I'm hammered ass drunk) my go-to song is "Mmmmmmmmm" by the Crash Test Dummies. I haven't tried it, but I could probably do a mean "The Distance" by Cake, too. I was called Barry White in high school by two girls who insisted on having me say "Hey baby" over and over again much to their delight. They would walk past me in the hallway, ask me to say it, I would, then they laughed and left. I have forgotten their names.

Speaking of, I forget names easily. I should probably put that in the "Things I'm good at" section, but you might notice it quickly in a social setting. I will literally forget someone's name 10 seconds after being told their name about 90% of the time. Unless it's a unique name like Chrysannalisa or someone who actually goes by Zachariah instead of Zach like a weirdo.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love all of these too much and just realized that in my previous update I basically gave away EVERYTHING about myself in this section. I'd rather talk about them in candid now that I realize it. But what I will give is my Top 10 favorite movies:

1) L.A. Confidential
2) Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
3) Amelie
4) Dawn of the Dead (original)
5) Wristcutters: A Love Story
6) Spaceballs
7) Shaun of the Dead
8) Clue
9) Defending Your Life
10) The Fall

Disclaimer: I removed "The Usual Suspects" from #3 because even though that movie is perfect, you see it once and the magic is gone on account of the twist ending. Just know I love that movie, as well as many others who have come and gone (Looking at you, "...Cuckoo's Nest")
Six things I could never do without
1) My unwavering hatred for making lists
2) Just kidding, I love lists
3) What am I supposed to be doing again?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation... it's all fair game.

Sorry, OKCupid told me to write that. Stop being creepy, OKCupid.
On a typical Friday night I am
I wish it were something cooler than "Hanging out with my friends and having drinks" or "Chilling at home and watching Netfix". We all do that, and that's rad. I just wish I could genuinely say something like "I spend my weekends trying to solve unsolved crimes from the 80's on the off chance I get to meet Robert Stack" but it's not true. That and Robert Stack is dead so that dream will never come true. R.I.P.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Whenever I'm having a shitty day I watch videos of baby elephants doing the darndest things and it picks me right back up.
You should message me if
You like to laugh, you like to have insightful conversations, you're into artistic culture, you didn't vote for Donald Drumpf, you really like decadent peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, you think I'm just a swell and entertaining gentlemen.

Bonus points if you understood the Gretchen reference.
The two of us