A poem I like. I've chosen not to try to figure out why.
They say I'm in love—
The rumor is already
Yet when I began to love
There was not a soul who knew.
- Mibu no Tudami
translated by Donald Keene
Funny because it's true:
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken
TRESPASSERS WILL BE TOAD - Sign on the road to the home of Erasmus the wizard in the game Hero's Quest (later called Quest for Glory).
Nobody knows my reputation. - Coach McGuirk from Home Movies
Interesting and interestingly-written:
The world will someday get me on some ludicrous pretext; I simply await the day that they drag me to some air-conditioned dungeon and leave me there beneath the fluorescent lights and sound-proofed ceiling to pay the price for scorning all that they hold dear within their little latex hearts. - Ignatius in "Confederacy of Dunces" by John Kennedy Toole
When you judge, you ultimately spend equal time, moment for moment, in forgiving. If you don't do it while you are alive, you will do it at another time. - Benala in "Message From Forever" by Marlo Morgan
Seen on a dating site for tools:
Wrench in the works seeks single file.
I often come up with weird ideas and turn my own phrases. Sometimes the results are interesting or funny:
My fingernails are growing too fast. They're really getting out of hand.
When I get dressed, I just put on whatever is easiest to grab from the dresser. I call it "luck of the drawer".
There should be before & after photos in the waiting rooms of psychologists' offices.
That guy sleeps on the job so often, we call him "The Sheriff of Noddingoff."
When we finally do away with all telemarketing, we'll erect a monument called "The Tomb of the Unknown Caller."