39Morgantown, United States
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My self-summary
[So, still not single. In fact, now engaged; fun! Got back on here after pondering how effective OkC actually is. (From my experience, it _does_ work well, for folks that take the process seriously and are fairly educated and seeking someone similarly so. I have no idea if it works well for the flippant, dumb folks. ;) ) It was fun, to read his and my profiles and see if our respective "brochures" were accurate. (Yep. :) )]

My kitten's name is Leonardo da Fuzzbutt: I think that's a pretty good indicator of what you're dealing with.

Need more info than that, do you? Well, fine ... .

So. If you're tired of brainless bints and vapid profiles, you've come to the right place. *nods sagely* Within you will find detailed prose, lighthearted profanity, gleeful abuse of the standard uses of the English language, and public displays of nerdery.

If none of the above sounds like your cup of tea - or at least intrigues you a bit - kindly fuck right off. (That is, you might as well not read any further, yeah? ;) )

My intent was to utterly revise the profile, essentially start from scratch. I failed. Certain bits were just crafted so ruddy well I just couldn't. Alas, alack! But chunks have changed, so do have a gander.[1]

I'm a creed-driven pragmatic utilitarian hedonist. Have a go at figuring out what that means - or just ask.

I love to learn - 'bout most anything - but I wasn't a big fan of formal schooling. I suppose the diversity of my interests is apparent: a pre-vet bachelor's degree, with minors in political science and economics, and a law degree. Yee-haw.

Clearly I'm a white gal[2]. I listed my ethnicity as "Undeclared" to thwart douchebags who might select whiteness as somehow "mandatory" for matches. I haven't much tolerance for racism, closed-mindedness, and other varieties of dumbass-ery.

I have a somewhat dark sense of humor. Think misfortune cookies (see ThinkGeek.com), Despair.com's demotivator posters[3], Tom Lehrer's "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park," and Rodney Carrington's "I Hope You Die.") And I think we lost a national treasure when Mr. Carlin finally kicked it.

Personally, I think a certain measure of seriousness, combined with a fair dose of whimsy (and outright silliness) is an o'erflowing basketful of win.

Lessee, what else?

I'm a rampaging smart-ass.

I can talk rather a bit. Really. As in, talk your ear off, then move directly to the other. So yeah: you've been warned. (Of course, that being said, there are some interesting ways to get me to hush it ... .)

My tact-ometer is mostly broken. While I _can_ tightly control what I say, and to whom, I'm not really interested in uber-censoring what I say.

I think, as a society, we are inclined to tiptoe around altogether too much, on the offchance that some easily-offended twat is within earshot.[4] I call bullshit.

If you happen to be awfully easily offended, that's your own defect: the rest of the world oughtn't have to modify its behavior. *nods sagely*

Take for example the cursing: yes, I could do without it, and some would advise to do without it _here_. But I figure its use might weed out some of the more easily-offended folks. Oui?

However - while it might at first blush seem contradictory - I am not saying that folks ought to be intentionally rude or mean. I'm just saying that people should feel free to converse candidly.

Folks are sometimes surprised to find that, beneath my perhaps-spiky-seeming exterior there does actually lurk a kinder-than-average person ... . I also postulate that a certain amount of brutal-seeming-ness is necessary - in my analysis of certain situations or folks I don't know - in order to counterbalance how fucking sweet I am to folks that I do know personally.
What I’m doing with my life
Yeah, I'm a lawyer ... .[5] I'm not sure that's the long-term plan, however. It's a very burn-out-prone field, and there are some alternatives that I think might be more rewarding ways to spend my time and earn my living. I think the mid-term plan will be lawyering to pay most of my bills, with a job2 picking up the remainder (non-law-related, for brain-rest purposes), and something approaching a job3 as the more fulfilling bit. The goal would be to phase down the lawyering and amp up the latter. Or something like that.

From the above, you might guess that I'm not very materialistic - and you would be correct. "Stuff" just doesn't matter very much to me. However, there are certain things I would like to do (travel) and certain things I intend to have (bad-ass '60s-ish muscle car or somesuch) that will require some bucks. So ... .

From time to time, I really think hard about positioning myself as something approximating a community organizer. (Think "activist," but WITH pay and WITHOUT hairy armpits or patchouli scent.) The concept of being mouthy, active, and doin' good seems pretty appealing.

So, it's not exactly Point-A-to-Point-B, at this point. And I think that's the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I like it.[6]
I’m really good at
-kissing and (mostly) not telling[7]

-giving others good advice - and not taking my own, of course

-making particularly incisive remarks about [insert topic], often in droll, snarktastic fashion

-mucking about, trying to find more efficient, more effective, or merely more interesting ways to do things
The first things people usually notice about me
I suppose that mostly depends on the observer - and perhaps also where the observing is occurring. For some folks, it's my purty blue eyes. For others, it might be my marvelous smirk.

And, mostly in the club context, it might be my smirk, then my ass, as I walk past. Yes, I said it. Some chicks slut it up when they go out; instead, I rock a pair of ass-jeans. (I'm not sure the major brands sell 'em under that description, but mebbe they should. :) )

This one certainly isn't a "first thing," but a fair number of guys, when I'm driving, are somehow impressed that I drive a standard. Do most chicks not? It really ain't much of a feat. When I was younger, I didn't understand some folks' preference for a standard ... but I'm now a convert. And I can't imagine my someday-old-school-muscle car bein' an automatic.[8]
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I've read rather a lot, but I often feel vastly under-read, given some of the favorite-books/authors lists some folks include in their profiles. People hate helping me move, 'cause the combined weight of my books probably exceeds the weight of everything else I own, excepting my car.

That being said,
-I kind of adore Orson Scott Card;
-I've had phases of really enjoying series by Anne Rice (high school), Robert Jordan, and Terry Goodkind (both in college);
-I still periodically enjoy miscellaneous self-help-type books (_The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People_, _How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci:_) and psychobabble (_Loving What Is_, _Don't Sweat the Small Stuff_);
-and I enjoy a bit of sheer nerdery as well: Richard Feynman's _The Meaning of It All_, Bill Bryson's _A Short History of Nearly Everything_ ... .

Movies? I hardly ever go to the movies; I prefer them to come to me. (I'm a Netflix girl.) I suppose I go for the more whimsical than the dramatic or gore-laden: _Labyrinth_, _My Fair Lady_, Benny & Joon ... . I just re-watched the _Little Mermaid_ for the first time in forever. Adorable.

I don't have cable, and haven't really for years. I glut on it at when at my sister's, I Netflix series, or I watch on the interwebs. Past saturations include "House," "The Gilmore Girls," and "United States of Tara." Presently, I'm digging "Parenthood."

I love, love, love music, and it's a pretty divergent lot:
-lesser-known-but-grand bands (Cake, Regina Spektor, Zee Avi ...),
-pure candy-coated crap-ish pop (Christina Aguilera, Maroon 5, Pitbull ...),
-girlie stuff (Sheryl Crow, Ani DiFranco's "Untouchable Face,"[9] KT Tunstall, Sarah McLachlan ...)
-and even hip-hop (yeah really: e.g., Kardinal Offishall and Akon's "Kill the Dance," Diddy's "Hello Good Morning," Lil' Kim's "Magic Stick," Outkast hooray! ...).[10]

I enjoy all sorts of foods, if made well. For example, eating out in Mo'town might be Puglioni's or Kenyan Cafe - and I'm quite jazzed to hear Mo'town has finally managed a Thai restaurant.

I like cooking ... but don't manage it nearly as much as I'd like. It's something else that sucks about being single: it's harder to work up the give-a-shit-ness, when it's just for you. I do think that cookin' a fantabulous meal'd be a great date - though not as a first date, surely. (Gotta have some sense you're not an ax murder, 'fore we're at my house or yours, ya know.)
Six things I could never do without
(and ... ?)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Holy jeebus ... EVERYTHING ... .

A few specifics, though:
-Why people are so mean, when being nice is often easier and pays great dividends?
-Why do folks ignore wonderful free things (sunsets, fantabulous moonscapes, fun with pets and kids, wondrous autumn smells ...), instead focusing their entire lives on obtaining expensive crap, that's worth very little?
-Why do electric things apparently still use electricity when "off" but still plugged in? (C'mon, now, that's fucking stupid. How hard can it be to design a circuit that'd take care of that issue, with some sort of sensor widget?)
-Why don't consumers demand a path to ubercheap energy, via wind, solar, and other renewables? Why in tarnation do we continue to pay out the nose for these silly (objectively horrible for us and the planet) means of energy production? (Of course the answers are, among others, that Americans are sheeple, and we don't have publicly-financed elections ... .)
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm actually more of a Thursdays- and Saturdays-out girl. But that's just because it's sort of how my town works, particularly given the places I frequent.

But I'm hugely play-it-by-ear. Dancing, pool-playing (badly), catching a root-beer float. It's a whole lot of whatever.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
(Uh, look at what I admitted to above, as regards music. I think that's quite enough for now, don't you?)

I'm very open-book-y, though. Just query, and you're likely to find out what you seek.
You should message me if
[Well, if you read the beginning of this tome, you'd know that I'm no longer single, so ... bear that in mind. That is to say, I'm always generally interested in chatting with intelligent/interesting folks, but I'm also a monogamy fiend, once that comes into play. :) ]

You're interesting, intelligent, not too uptight, and know you're bad-ass - but at the same time not too full of yourself or fake-confident. (I _hate_ that shit. Be who you are.)

In general, I’m attracted to thinkers, and that doesn’t necessarily mean intellectual. For example, Ex1 was by no stretch an intellectual but could really ponder things. And, though things didn't ultimately work out, he was a good person. In contrast, Ex2 was brilliant ... but ultimately a dick.

*sighs* So OkC finally get rid of the "wink" option of slacker communication ... but replaced it with "send a drink"? So, don't hit that button. I'm not only singularly unimpressed with this non-effort, but this sentence is a fun filter to see who actually read the damned profile (or at least this section).

Don't bother to message me if you didn't bother to actually read the profile (or at least this, a rather instructive section). Similarly, if you send me a vague/essentially contentless/very not-discernibly-personalized-to-me message, you'll find that I won't reply in any but the most perfunctory way. (Why do I have to say this?)

_Do_ message me if you're up for some interesting conversation, perhaps done while exploring either your city or mine. Mo'town's got some interesting bits, if you didn't know, and I'm most always up for some exploration of things as-yet unknown-to-me.

G'bye. Hope to chat with the more interesting of you.

[Oh. Also please message me if you found typos. Hate that.]

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
-Matt Groening,

[Yes, endnotes. And, just like "normal" ones, they supply additional, cluttery-if-included-in-the-primary-text information, that only the curious/OCD will read anyway ... . ;) ]

[1] As opposed to a "goose"? I think it might be a bit early for that, don't you? ;) (~Sorry; my brain just does that.)

[2] Though I've had some black guys question my lineage, given my lips, arse, and attitude. *shrugs*

[3] E.g., "Wishes": "When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor."

[4] I don't use that word to refer only to chicks. It's an equal-opportunity derogatory, in my book. Same with "bitch" and "bastard."

[5] When I was waitressing, a lot of customers would want to know what I did, once I told them I was not a student, regardless of how young they thought I was. My hint was, think of the jobs that are most despised, and you'll get there. Lawyer was usually within the first two or three guesses. The other typical guesses were IRS agent, car salesman, and stripper. (Good company, dontcha think?)

[6] I can't decide if I'm more proud or more ashamed of including that reference ... . ;)

[7] That is, chicks do just have certain people that they tell essentially everything to. If this somehow fundamentally bothers you, there are two options. First, be a defensive douche and give your girl a hard time about it - and she'll then either pretend she no longer does that or just dump ya. Or, second, just go gay. (Though I hear those batting for the other team are perhaps equally chatty?) ;)

[8] On that note, I encountered a fellow not long ago with a beauteous 2011 Dodge Challenger. He was hot but apparently clueless: he'd gotten it in an automatic. Seriously? What. The. Fuck. I suppose for him is was just a status symbol generally, rather than an appreciation of what the bugger is. I wanted to take him with me on a test drive of a standard one, on some deliciously curvy road. Or something.

I cut my teeth on a '74 Nova, and I've been kind of aspirationally stuck on muscle-y cars ever since. What a fun tank of a car, that ... .

So, query: any other appreciators or wrenchers out there who find car graveyards a bit agonizing? What's wrong with these property owners, that they don't find folks to give love to the yet-re-lovable ones and inter the remaining ones? Seems like there'd be good money for the effort ... . There's one near me that has some really neat inhabitants. :)

[9] C'mon, can you really get lyrics much better than this?

"Tell you the truth I prefer the worst of you,
Too bad you had to have a better half.
She's not really my type,
But I think you two are forever.
And I hate to say it, but you're perfect together.

"So fuck you,
And your untouchable face.
Fuck you,
For existing in the first place.
And who am I,
That I should be vying for your touch?
Who am I,
Bet you can't even tell me that much."

(And it's in a melodic singer-songwriter-y voice - as opposed to a coarse Courtney Hole-ish scratch, so you don't really see the fierce vulgarity coming ... .)

[10] I first got into hip-hop a couple years ago, when I decided I was going to teach myself to dance - which has been a pretty successful venture, I think - and I've just kind of been stuck on it, since then, though mostly still for ass-shaking purposes.
The two of us