46 Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
I currently live in the Brighton Beach area of Brooklyn.
I want to learn sign language so I can be tri-lingual (technically I guess).
I value good conversation even though I always seem to be cracking jokes.
Update : I now work for the NY State Court system.

I am divorced, 1/2 PRican, and 1/2 Italian
What I’m doing with my life
As little as possible, I do work for the government, after all.
Seriously though, I'm taking each day as it comes and making the best out of each one.
I’m really good at
Making reservations (since I can't cook at all) ... Telling a joke (both dirty and clean) ... making people laugh ... useless trivia ... driving ... changing a tire ... sleeping ... I've been told I'm good at snoring but I'm usually asleep so I don't know if that is true.
The first things people usually notice about me
my eyes because they always make me look like I'm up to something even when I'm not.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books : Stephen King, graphic novels, more of a newspaper / magazine guy though...

Music : All (seriously I like all types of music. I can't live without my Satellite Radio). I have a CD collection that puts Tower Records (remember them) to shame. Rock, R&B , classic Rap, Dance music (freestyle and old House music), lots of Soundtracks (for some strange reason), some Classical, Latin, some Country, Techno or classic NewWave...

Food : Chinese, Italian, Spanish and almost anything Spicy...

Movies :
a) Dramas --> Saving Private Ryan -- Pulp Fiction -- Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon -- The Professional -- Usual Suspects (Kayzer Soze!) -- Seven -- A Few Good Men --

b) Comedies --> The Princess Bride (come on--it has Andre the Giant in it!!) -- The Breakfast Club -- M*A*S*H* (the original movie) -- Babe (the pig movie) -- Despicable Me (effin' minions)

c) Horror / Thriller --> Saw -- Scream -- Nightmare on Elm Street (original two films before it became a comedy) -- original The Excorcist

d) Sci Fi --> Star Wars (original three movies) -- Armageddon -- Alien / Aliens (not crazy about #3)

I'll add more as I think of them.
The six things I could never do without
Air, water, food (those are kinda obvious). Seriously: friends, my cell phone (Android not I-Phone) , DirectTV with the football package, family, bacon. I don't think I have found the 6th one yet.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
a lot of stuff as you can see below....

1) That the scariest moment in life is the moment you realize you leaned back in your chair just a little too far and you just might fall and crack your head open...
2).... and then you recover your balance and breathe a sigh of relief...
4) ...and then do it all over again.
5) I used to have a funny Chatlie Sheen joke here but since his announcement I removed it out of respect...
6) When I'm driving, I hate pedestrians...when I'm walking I hate drivers... but no matter what, I always hate bicyclists :-P
7) I wasted most of the 3rd grade learning to write cursive. Especially since I use print for EVERYTHING!
8) Do strippers get home after a long shift, start to undress, and think "Damn, I'm still working!!"
9) I believe erectile dysfunction advertisements are the cause of most erection problems.
10) Italics is not good enough to show sarcasm when emailing or texting. Someone seriously needs to come up with a dedicated 'SARCASM' font.
11) I hate red lights when I'm driving, unless I'm texting then I'll even slow down at yellow lights just to get caught at the red light so I can finish a couple of messages uninterrupted.
12) I love almost every song on my phone but when I put it on shuffle I always ... ALWAYS ... end up skipping a bunch of songs until I get to something I want to hear.
13) I think a good name for a store that sells used artificial limbs can be "The 2nd Hand Second Hand Store" (ba dum bump tissshhhh)
14) It has been over 30 years after the Chernobyl Nuclear Disaster and we still haven't heard of a Russian version of a superhero, like The Russian Hulk? Russian X-Men? Etc.
15) Did anybody notice that there isn't a #3?
16) I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. Something like a bar code that is equivalent to my social security number on my forearm. I was thinking I could swipe my arm under price scanners in different stores and see how much I cost.
17) A USA Today poll showed there's a fine line between a 'neighborhood watch program' and being a vigilante. I think you're a vigilante if you have your own theme music and wear a mask and/or cape.
18) You went to check to see if I lied about the missing #3.

also obscure lyrics, movie quotes, the weather (summer cannot come back here soon enough), the people in the office above me, how can I go about impressing you, did I set my DVR to record the right program (?!?), the last clip on YouTube that should be on Tosh.0, last night's Yankee game, how much I hate winter...etc.
On a typical Friday night I am
I don't know...ask me on Saturday morning.
It could be a movie, a Yankee game at the stadium, a comedy club, doing laundry ... Worse comes to worse maybe do some OverTime at work :-(
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I am willing to lie to your friends and family about how we met "on a line" at the bank, the supermarket, amusement park, etc. instead of "Online" ... umm ... uhh ... here.

Sometimes I'll notice that someone will visit my page multiple times but hasn't sent a message. It makes me feel like a refrigerator, where you open the door when you're hungry, don't like what you see... Shut the door... Then open it up again hoping to find something different. Slam it shut... Open it up another time and still don't pull anything out (=leave a message). Makes me think I'm better than whatever else is out there but not good enough for them.
You should message me if
You are looking for a cuddly goofball that will put a smile on your face ... a drink in your hand ... someone who will pull out the chair for you ... a man who hold doors open for you (and lightly slap your tush as you pass by just to remind you I'm still your guy) ... someone who knows the proper side of the street to walk on when accompanying you.

You are intelligent ... hold up your end of a conversation ... you're not afraid to express your opinions or take a stand.

You will kiss me 💋 where it hurts AND kiss me👄UNTIL it hurts!