29 Columbus, United States
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My self-summary
You remember that night at Dooley's pool party on that fine Summer eve? When I did that double jack-knife twist and blew everyone's tits off? You remember that? And then I went down on Chrissy Orlando on the trampoline later that night?

Look man, I do a lot of weird shit. But i also do a lot of normal shit. Example, I love the shit out of my Xbox, but i also only ONLY drink grapefruit juice. Not because its healthy shit, but because its fucking delicious shit. The number of times i've used the word shit in this paragraph could also fall under the weird shit category, But to me its the normal shit category. See where this is going? I guess the point i'm trying to make is that I make a lot of jokes that are in poor taste. So if you are easily offended, It aint gona work babe. and i promise i will never ever type aint or say aint again. Not even if theres a fire.

Pretend that you were stranded on a desert island
What would be the message that you'd spell out for the plane?
Say the engine failed when that plane was flying
If you were the pilot would you curse or would you pray?

Above average blanket-fort builder
Coal Miners Daughter

You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo-staff.

Much love:
My cat, Steven Glansburg
&dog, Roscoe Pico Train
The Lulz
Making sweet tunes
Zelda Ocarina of Time
Your mom jokes
Bad words
Assassins creed
People watching
One little, two little, three little Indians

You've reached the part of the profile that i've decided to switch up the format a bit. Rather than continuing to list random bullet points with no context whatsoever, i'm going to use the paragraph format. So these words are arranged into sentences, which make up an actual paragraph. My main reasoning for doing this is that very few people actually read someones profile prior to sending a message. They just skim over the profile looking for keywords to reference in their first message. In theory, not only does this give the owner of the profile the illusion that they did in fact read before messaging, but it also increases the likelihood they they will receive a message in return due to having at least one keyword in common. Here are a few more words, just trying to increase the length of this section in the hopes of appearing like i have some ancient underground secret to life. More words, a comma, more words, additional comma final word. Words next to words next to words next to words period (actual period). Its a tiny tiny period, but a period nonetheless. Here are some of those keywords for you: Music, tacos, music tacos
Paragraph break
Now i know what you're thinking. What about the people who do read profiles? To that i apologize to the massive waste of time this section has been. But its not all about you, It took me longer to write these paragraphs about nothing as well. Typing out this paragraph is way slower than reading this paragraph, so have a little sympathy for the writer miss selfish. Now to a real paragraph.

My favorite saying is "fuck me in the goat ass". No, there is a source, i didnt invent it. Its just something that i say without thinking about it. 2 maybe 2 and a half times a day. Obviously, i am not a goat, therefor i am ineligible to have an ass of a goat. But lets just say i did, I certainly wouldn't want to be sexually penetrated in said goats ass. So, moot point. But now you know, and if indeed we are hanging out someplace in earshot of a stranger when the awful saying rears its evil little head, you'll know how to explain the goat ass situation.
Honestly, I'm not quite sure which would get the weirder look. Actually explaining it to someone, or the fact that i just said goat ass situation with a straight face.

Now for the most serious part. I own my own business, working from home most of the time. Hermit by design. I listen to far too many genres of music to have a favorite. why the fuck am i still writing this.

And now two final pieces of information that will get overlooked. I am fine, and nothing is up, but thanks for asking

if you made it through the bullshit here, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.

Disclaimer: Please assume everything on this page is a lie until proven otherwise, Including this disclaimer.
What I’m doing with my life
Cat, i'm a kitty cat, and i dance dance dance and i dance dance dance
I’m really good at
Listening to music from 2005.
The first things people usually notice about me
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Noise: Bright Eyes and Conor Oberst, The fucking National , The Honorary Title, Margot and the nuclear So and sos, Mae, Anthony Green, The Academy Is...,Her Space Holiday, Cute is what we aim for, Tilly and the Wall, Cartel, Lydia, The Decemberists, The Rocket Summer, Senses fail, Emery, The Get Up Kids, Bayside, Straylight Run, Thursday, Copeland, Underoath, Desaparecidos, The Weepies, He is Legend, Vanna, Finch, The Starting Line, Blind Pilot, Brand New, The Early November, Dead Poetic, Say Anything, Pierce the Veil, The Format, Something Corporate, PlayRadioPlay, Manchester Orchestra, Emanuel, The Postal Service, AFI (Sing the Sorrow and earlier. If we're hanging out and you plop in your copy of Decemberunderground I promise ill break it into a hundred pieces, add 1/2 cup of water, 2 chicken Ramon noodle flavor packets, then simmer on low heat for 10 minutes. After it cools ill feed it to the neighbors dog. I always see him eating shit, so I doubt he'll be able to tell the difference)

Bigscreen: Gardenstate, Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind, Drugstore Cowboys, All Kevin smith movies

FUCK Donnie Darko. I said it, it's a shitty movie and you know it. You only like it because your friends pretend to. Also, Not a fan of fight club, Eat my shorts.

Tube: EASTBOUND AND DOWN, Its always Sunny in Philadelphia, Breaking Bad, Trailer Park Boys, Kenny Vs Spenny, The Wire

Paper: Lamb
The six things I could never do without
I spent a week drinking the sunlight of Winnetka, California. Where they understand the weight of human hearts. You see sorrow gets too heavy and joy it tends to hold you, With the fear that it eventually departs.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
At what age do you tell a highway its adopted?
On a typical Friday night I am
Your mother, probably
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You should message me if
Why hello sexygurl4ulolwat
Tell me, did your teeth come with that taco meat already on them?