Look man, I do a lot of weird shit. But i also do a lot of normal shit. Example, I love the shit out of my Xbox, but i also only ONLY drink grapefruit juice. Not because its healthy shit, but because its fucking delicious shit. The number of times i've used the word shit in this paragraph could also fall under the weird shit category, But to me its the normal shit category. See where this is going? I guess the point i'm trying to make is that I make a lot of jokes that are in poor taste. So if you are easily offended, It aint gona work babe. and i promise i will never ever type aint or say aint again. Not even if theres a fire.
Pretend that you were stranded on a desert island
What would be the message that you'd spell out for the plane?
Say the engine failed when that plane was flying
If you were the pilot would you curse or would you pray?
Above average blanket-fort builder
HUGE POTTY MOUTH
Coal Miners Daughter
You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo-staff.
My cat, Steven Glansburg
&dog, Roscoe Pico Train
Making sweet tunes
Zelda Ocarina of Time
Your mom jokes
One little, two little, three little Indians
You've reached the part of the profile that i've decided to switch up the format a bit. Rather than continuing to list random bullet points with no context whatsoever, i'm going to use the paragraph format. So these words are arranged into sentences, which make up an actual paragraph. My main reasoning for doing this is that very few people actually read someones profile prior to sending a message. They just skim over the profile looking for keywords to reference in their first message. In theory, not only does this give the owner of the profile the illusion that they did in fact read before messaging, but it also increases the likelihood they they will receive a message in return due to having at least one keyword in common. Here are a few more words, just trying to increase the length of this section in the hopes of appearing like i have some ancient underground secret to life. More words, a comma, more words, additional comma final word. Words next to words next to words next to words period (actual period). Its a tiny tiny period, but a period nonetheless. Here are some of those keywords for you: Music, tacos, music tacos
Now i know what you're thinking. What about the people who do read profiles? To that i apologize to the massive waste of time this section has been. But its not all about you, It took me longer to write these paragraphs about nothing as well. Typing out this paragraph is way slower than reading this paragraph, so have a little sympathy for the writer miss selfish. Now to a real paragraph.
My favorite saying is "fuck me in the goat ass". No, there is a source, i didnt invent it. Its just something that i say without thinking about it. 2 maybe 2 and a half times a day. Obviously, i am not a goat, therefor i am ineligible to have an ass of a goat. But lets just say i did, I certainly wouldn't want to be sexually penetrated in said goats ass. So, moot point. But now you know, and if indeed we are hanging out someplace in earshot of a stranger when the awful saying rears its evil little head, you'll know how to explain the goat ass situation.
Honestly, I'm not quite sure which would get the weirder look. Actually explaining it to someone, or the fact that i just said goat ass situation with a straight face.
Now for the most serious part. I own my own business, working from home most of the time. Hermit by design. I listen to far too many genres of music to have a favorite. why the fuck am i still writing this.
And now two final pieces of information that will get overlooked. I am fine, and nothing is up, but thanks for asking
if you made it through the bullshit here, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.
Disclaimer: Please assume everything on this page is a lie until proven otherwise, Including this disclaimer.
Bigscreen: Gardenstate, Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind, Drugstore Cowboys, All Kevin smith movies
FUCK Donnie Darko. I said it, it's a shitty movie and you know it. You only like it because your friends pretend to. Also, Not a fan of fight club, Eat my shorts.
Tube: EASTBOUND AND DOWN, Its always Sunny in Philadelphia, Breaking Bad, Trailer Park Boys, Kenny Vs Spenny, The Wire
Tell me, did your teeth come with that taco meat already on them?