Kafkainthehat
33 Manhattan, United States
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Kafkainthehat
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My self-summary
I was born under a volcano and raised by seals. I wasted my youth protecting my tribe from sea otters. I always played the shrubbery in school plays.

Pessimistic optimist. The glass was definitely half-full before I broke it.

I'm a writer with a drinking problem or a drinker with a writing problem.

Smart but trying to be wise
What I’m doing with my life
Writing. Or trying to.
I’m really good at
Counting. Totally could have played the Count on Sesame Street.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Bolano's 2666, Lorrie Moore, Alice Monroe, Babel's Red Cavalry, Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov. Ferrante. Where did she come from? Marquez's 100 Years of Solitude is etched across parts of my mind.

I'm one of those people who think the world is divided between people who think "The Wire" is the best show on television and those who haven't seen it yet.

Also Transparent.
The six things I could never do without
the passenger pigeon.
the dodo
the great auk
the Tasmanian tiger.
the Baiji White dolphin
Stellers Sea Cow.

Oh, wait. Shit.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The impossibility of civil disobedience, a working government and a just and moral society. Also naps.
On a typical Friday night I am
In tights. Fighting crime.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am cautious about simple answers to complicated problems.

My moral compass may or may not be totally derived from Adventure Time.

How much I enjoy cooking. Man, it's so much better than writing. You get to work hard at something and then you get to eat it.

And I'm actually 5'7 and a quarter. Really. I'll admit it here. I was told by a female friend of mine that everyone automatically assumes you're two inches shorter then you put down.

I was raised Jewish but now am mostly guilty.
You should message me if
You too have a drinking or writing problem. Or you want one.

You have something to say.

You go through life wanting something.

Because you think this might be the best joke ever:
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: Why the long face?
(Pause)
Horse: Because I'm an alcoholic and it's slowly killing me and my family.

Because life is short and memories are very long.

Also: Fuck Trump. And the oxford comma—smug, preppy bastard.
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