Pessimistic optimist. The glass was definitely half-full before I broke it.
I'm a writer with a drinking problem or a drinker with a writing problem.
Smart but trying to be wise
I'm one of those people who think the world is divided between people who think "The Wire" is the best show on television and those who haven't seen it yet.
the great auk
the Tasmanian tiger.
the Baiji White dolphin
Stellers Sea Cow.
Oh, wait. Shit.
My moral compass may or may not be totally derived from Adventure Time.
How much I enjoy cooking. Man, it's so much better than writing. You get to work hard at something and then you get to eat it.
And I'm actually 5'7 and a quarter. Really. I'll admit it here. I was told by a female friend of mine that everyone automatically assumes you're two inches shorter then you put down.
I was raised Jewish but now am mostly guilty.
You have something to say.
You go through life wanting something.
Because you think this might be the best joke ever:
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: Why the long face?
Horse: Because I'm an alcoholic and it's slowly killing me and my family.
Because life is short and memories are very long.
Also: Fuck Trump. And the oxford comma—smug, preppy bastard.