Pessimistic optimist. The glass was definitely half-full before it shattered.
I'm a writer with a drinking problem or a drinker with a writing problem.
I took the wrong turn on the road-less-travelled so now I'm circling back.
the great auk
the Tasmanian tiger.
the Baiji White dolphin
Stellers Sea Cow.
Oh, wait. Shit.
That maybe allowing people to express themselves in 144 characters wasn't such a good idea.
My moral compass may or may not be totally derived from Adventure Time.
And I'm actually 5'7 and a quarter. Really. I'll admit it here. I was told by a female friend of mine that everyone automatically assumes you're two inches shorter then you put down.
I was raised Jewish but now am mostly guilty.
I was actually the guy behind Milli Vanilli.
You have something to say.
You go through life wanting something.
Because you think this might be the best joke ever:
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: Why the long face?
Horse: Because I'm an alcoholic and it's slowly killing me and my family.
Because life is short and memories are very long.
Is Trump president? Fuck.
Because Trump is president and now life might be extremely short.