34Manhattan, United States
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My self-summary
I was born under a volcano and raised by seals. I wasted my youth protecting my tribe from sea otters. I always played the shrubbery in the Nativity plays.

Pessimistic optimist. The glass was definitely half-full before it shattered.

I'm a writer with a drinking problem or a drinker with a writing problem.

I took the wrong turn on the road-less-travelled so now I'm circling back.
What I’m doing with my life
Writing. Or trying to.
I’m really good at
Bourbon and banter.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Bolano's 2666, Lorrie Moore, Alice Monroe, Babel's Red Cavalry, Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov. Ferrante. Where did she come from? Marquez's 100 Years of Solitude.
Six things I could never do without
the passenger pigeon.
the dodo
the great auk
the Tasmanian tiger.
the Baiji White dolphin
Stellers Sea Cow.

Oh, wait. Shit.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The impossibility of civil disobedience, a working government and a just and moral society. Also naps.

That maybe allowing people to express themselves in 144 characters wasn't such a good idea.
On a typical Friday night I am
Oh on the eternal quest for meaning. And snacks.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am cautious about simple answers to complicated problems.

My moral compass may or may not be totally derived from Adventure Time.

And I'm actually 5'7 and a quarter. Really. I'll admit it here. I was told by a female friend of mine that everyone automatically assumes you're two inches shorter then you put down.

I was raised Jewish but now am mostly guilty.

I was actually the guy behind Milli Vanilli.
You should message me if
You too have a drinking or writing problem. Or you want one.

You have something to say.

You go through life wanting something.

Because you think this might be the best joke ever:
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: Why the long face?
Horse: Because I'm an alcoholic and it's slowly killing me and my family.

Because life is short and memories are very long.

Is Trump president? Fuck.
Because Trump is president and now life might be extremely short.
The two of us