So it should probably tell you something that instead of actually updating this and inputting currently accurate information I just keep tacking on strange little life updates every 2 years... yep. So I'm still me, this all still pretty much me, I've just realized I am REALLY bad at replying to messages/texts/phone calls/emails/etc. I also am a weird combination of dude-chick. I get easily freaked out by guys coming on too strong and yet still have the nervous stereotypical girl, oh god why isn't he replying to me?! occasional mental freak outs. In all cases I'm just me, pretty honest, pretty straightforward, girly while also kind of a guy, but overly nice. I work a lot, I like hiding in my apartment a lot, I like going out a lot. So yeah, all that stuff. *Mic Drop* - Nov 2015
--So... not on here much and been actively avoiding dating for a bit so while I am lonely and would love to date the honest truth right now is I am over extended. I tend to rarely want to actually go out on dates with strangers. Opting instead to catch up with the friends I don't see enough of. Just kinda hoping someday I'll get the surprise kiss from some random person and be magically smitten for life. Kinda like a Disney movie! Yep. Below is a profile I just keep adding and removing stuff from every once in a while... hence the extensive life/love history and commentary. Someday it shall be shorter... someday... -- Jun 2013
As for what I like, I like a bit of a rough edge, I like the emotional creative artist and poet, and I like a few tattoos and piercings. Which also, unfortunately, means the men I fall for are often the fringe sort.
I suppose what I want right now is conversation, affection, trust, and love. I have come to realize that my own walls and fears are chameleon like in nature, I am extremely affectionate when shown affection and cold when held at a distance. I inevitably seem to come on either too strong or not strong enough when I like someone. I'm also a bit shy, messy, and procrastinating. Very procrastinating. So I may not be the easiest person to get close to unless you are willing to get close to me, unfair as that may be. ;)
I think ideally at this point I want a constant to come home to, I'm lonely for more than the occasional bed warmer. I want someone to talk to who wants to talk to me, someone to watch bad cartoons with, someone to go out with, someone to hold hands and joke with, and someone able and willing to make time for me when I've had a bad day. I am fundamentally a kind person, I'm trusting but my trust is earned not given. Though once earned I'd probably graciously give you every password I have and a debit card to my bank account, without anything expected in return. >.< I'm also, obviously, honest to a fault.
Without intending to sound conceded, I get a lot of messages on here and work 14 hour days 4 days a week and regularly date, work on music, and go out with friends, my life is busy, so please don't be offended if I don't respond to you or am hard to keep a conversation with. It's likely not personal, simply a case of either lack of corresponding interests, bad timing, overwhelming other obligations, me just being my flawed procrastinating self, lack of physical attraction, or even just a case of conversation seeming too strained. I want a connection that seems special and comes easy and I want it to be mutual.
I don't find myself especially attracted to very many people (1 in 20... maybe), so too often I find either someone I wish I liked more paying me more attention than I'd like or someone I like a lot barely giving me the time of day. But looks have only a small amount to do with my interest, more it's about some undefinable "thing" you posses that makes me want to be near you.
I am intelligent, I sing, I dance, I draw, I'm romantic, I'm feminine, I'm a tomboy, I'm a gamer, I'm awkward, I'm nerdy, I watch too many movies, I once had pet preying Mantids and intend to again, I have cats and spend more money than I should on them, I used to raise and spoil dwarf hamsters (mostly as a personal experiment in genetics plus they are tiny fluffy and cute), I enjoy my creatures, and I want to fall madly, spontaneous song and dance number in the rain in love someday. I think I'm special in a very non-short bus way and I want someone to make me feel special as I will return the favor 10 fold. Also I'm not a skinny girl and I will probably never be a skinny girl, so you must enjoy my curves. (One of the benefits of such curves is my breasts make an extremely comfy pillow) :P
PS. If the best thing you can think to send me a message about is my breasts I will not respond and may even post pictures all over the internet of your head photo shopped into gay bukaki porn... just sayin.
PSS. I'm impressed you're still reading. Seriously, wtf?
I support myself financially and emotionally but I am happiest taking care of someone else (I mean emotionally and physically, no you can't sleep on my couch!). I'm a nerdy (albeit messy) housewife at heart.
I don't eat red meat or poultry (never liked the taste) but I love seafood and Italian.
I tend to enjoy more gothic/industrial/EBM/80's/synth pop/Blues/30's/40's/50's/60's/oldies/melodic/poundy etc. styles of music, but can appreciate a wide range of sounds. (pretty much anything with a good beat or tune)
I have a dirty mind and am a very sexual person, open minded, and playful. I'll try almost anything once and some things again and again.
However, these are traits reserved for my good friends and this does not mean I am easy or will sleep with random strangers who message me on dating sites expecting to "hook up". If you send me a message and the first words out of your mouth are of a sexual nature, all I'm gonna think is that what's in your pants is your ENTIRE personality and I will likely ignore you. I take very few sexual partners, so you are barking up the wrong tree if this is your only interest. That being said, I think we'll have a lot of fun if it gets to that point. I am a strong believer in attraction, trust, and friendship first.
If you still have any interest in getting to know me, you definitely should!