Here are some preliminary facts about me:
I've never been married. This means no crazy ex-wives to deal with. I asked Jennifer Aniston to marry me via a letter, but she never responded. However, the restraining order has been lifted thanks to a technicality, so there's still hope.
I don't have any children. I'm not sure if that's because I haven't tried, or because I'm shooting blanks. Either way, it seems like a positive worthy of mention.
I'm debt free. No student loans, no outstanding credit cards, and my car is fully paid off. This means I have more money to spend on my significant gambling addiction.
I don't smoke and I rarely drink. This means kissing me doesn't taste like licking the bottom of a bar ashtray, and I'll never vomit on your shoes because I've had one too many beers.
I've never been to jail, I don't litter, and I'm disease free. I give great foot massages and I love pineapple on my pizza.
iTunes terms and conditions
Other people's grocery receipts
Clothing wash special instructions
Live Twitter billboards
Anything not in 3D
Anything about space
Anything about people living together
Anything about people hoarding stuff
Porn with decent story writing
EDM, or "techno" if you still live in 1998
Music with a screaming woman lead singer
90's sitcom theme songs
Tuvan throat singing
Side Note: If you are making a kiss (duck) face in your profile picture, I'll be hesitant to respond to your message. If you're fake kissing me, then you're fake kissing other guys. That's unacceptable.