24 Chandler, United States
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My self-summary
Well step right up! behold the amazing! the wonderful! the absolutely stunning and completely non-refundable...sales pitch of the century, please date me because I'm bored and I can't believe I'm on a dating site. La la la la la *Daria theme song*

My name is KHRYSTINA, yeah I know, it's spelled different. ENTP type, be ready to keep up.

I'd like to consider myself a laid back, reasonable, realist, sarcastic, more like cynical, and witty type of person but in all honesty I'm stubborn, bossy and demanding (within reason).
I don't think chivalry is dead, but I don't expect to be handed everything simply because I have a vagina.
Friends would be nice, Best Friends would be awesome.

I'm also not here to get into any weird poly amorous or master-slave/pet thing you have going on, so please don't ask. I'll find my own slave thank you very much. I'm no Vanilla.

To the Girls reading: Yes, I've been in a relationship with a girl, a few in fact. So no, I don't say I'm bi just for fun or because I'm part of the new fad of being possibly gay. I am a purely full on half gay bisexual and I love eating muff as much as the next lesbian, probably better at it too.

I like to be bare footed and I have an obsession with frogs. IF YOU DON'T SHARE MY LOVE FOR THE MUPPETS THEN IT WILL NEVER WORK.

You're standing on my neck.
What I’m doing with my life
I originally hail from El Monte, I moved to Spain with my mother and sister when I was 8, then moved to Santa Clarita for high school. When I graduated I went into film school and was quickly expelled. I changed majors, moved to Illinois but that too was short lived. So, I just moved to Gilbert after bouncing around for a while, now I'm in Tempe/Chandler, recently out of a super serious relationship, long story short, I need to get out more.I'm just dying to meet new people.

I am a Licensed Massage Therapist, (enter happy ending joke here but I swear to God if you ask me for one I will put my elbow in your Piriformis) specializing in energy work such as Shiatsu, Thai Bodywork, acupressure and cranial sacral.
I hope to own a funeral home in the future and be a licensed Mortician as well and then be able to incorporate energy work into that. Feel free to let that stew.

I've dabbled in Warhammer 40k, I have two armies: Chaos Daemons and Salamanders.

Occasionally smoking pakalolo.
I’m really good at
Being Pretty and nothing else.
Breathing, blinking, looking, watching, typing, writing, reading, observing, thinking, daydreaming, driving, acting, baking, cleaning, snickering, laughing, poking, texting, ignoring, yelling, cracking and jerking, licking, kissing, sucking reeses peanut butter cups.
Making people laugh, being silly, making puns, talking to strangers, picking things up with my toes, playing Skyrim.
The first things people usually notice about me
My height.
My tits.
My eyes.
My smile.
My little feet.
My fertile birthing hips.
45" 35" 45", 160 lbs of amazing
My direct blunt attitude.
"How come you don't have better pictures on your profile Khrystina?" Because Fuck You, that's why.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Erotic Adventures of Sleeping Beauty, Harry Potter, Metamorphosis, Stiff, Song of Kali.
Movies: Back To The Future, horror movies.
Music: mostly classic rock (60s-80s), some hip hop, stoner music, 90s pop, techno, "derpstep", contemporary club music, sambas, cumbias, merengues aka spanish dance music that you hear at your neighbor's house like every weekend until 3am. oooh yeah.
My Sleeping Karma
Shows: Xfiles and Daria
Food: Anything Asian.
The six things I could never do without
air, food, water, clothing, internet, friends.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
It really grinds my gears when people describe themselves as a "walking contradiction". You're an idiot, If you were a real contradictionist you'd be just standing.
I envy the musically inclined for it must be so nice to be able to express yourself through a medium other than punching the wall.
What would I do if I really did take an arrow to the knee.
What really happened to Angelea on ANTM's last season.
How I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but it all came back to me.
Stealing someone's coffee is called "mugging".
Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.
How Although Nobelists tend to have dynamite personalities, Niels was a Bohr, and Linus was a Pauling.
That I really do have a photographic memory -- I just haven't developed it yet.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
And It's better to love a short girl than not a tall.

Boom boom tst!
On a typical Friday night I am
Usually watching Hulu by myself
Or out with people. You know, like everyone else.
Feel free to add me on Xbox Live if you like: Tinadafroggy
You guys don't know why but this is so weird, let's keep it that way.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Someone has told me recently that I look like Sunny Leone.
I have a mental list of people that I think should drop dead.
I have a giant stuffed frog named Radish.

I enjoy my role in the kitchen.

I have tattoos on both of my ankles.

I have a thing for intelligence. Like intelligence that you apply every day, good reasoning skills, a myriad of random facts and not be a sensitive sperglord are just a few things that could definitely help you on this mission, should you choose to accept it.

Super intense eyes = googolplex of internets for you.
You should message me if
*************You want to hang with weed and pizza and watch all kinds of weird shows. *****************

Talk about Wu Wei, Ether and the God-mind.

Pun War Challenge me. Do it.

Basically for any reason.

My exbf decided it would be a good idea to drive my car into a FedEx truck so I don't have a car at the moment, if that is an issue for you, keep walking.

Don't message me if you're illiterate or fail at writing. I am a grammar Nazi and if you message me with poor grammar and/or spelling or abusing abbreviations, I will warn you about it, but after your first offense, I will ignore you. I'm being deadly serious.