- I am NOT here "just to see what happens."
- I am NOT "just a guy"; I am not "just" anything. I am who I am and what I am; I will not diminish any of it with "just." And I am not a guy, or a dude, and most certainly not a boy. I am a man, sometimes a fella, sometimes a good man, occasionally a gentleman.
- While working hard and playing hard sounds all right, just *being* has a certain je ne sais quoi to it, don't you think?
- It's been years since anyone was so insulting as to call me "normal," and I will thank you to look deeper, if you think you glimpse "just a normal guy" anywhere in my words.
It seems a bit strange at my age, writing that I am still in the process of growing and becoming, but it's true. I suppose this is true for everyone, right? Anyway, when I get there, I will be able to write a full and accurate description of myself, but for now a rough sketch will have to do. In no particular order, then:
- Die-hard romantic: I am torn between being encouraged and irritated by the fact that I STILL, after everything, have this absurdly romantic perspective on the world. I don't ask for anyone's pity; just one of those things to hang from my rearview mirror to get the really good parking spots, please.
- Computer nerd/all-around Geek: Yep, I am one of those. No, I probably can't fix your computer, I am one of the other kinds of computer nerds. Which kind?
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That's a hardware problem. Call I.T.
- Artistic/creative intellectual sort: I play bass in a band. I create artwork using Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator. I write on occasion. I love art galleries, concerts (see my taste in music), the ballet, the symphony, museums. I read constantly. Bookstores are some of my favorite places.
Crash Davis said it best:
"I believe in the soul... the cock... the pussy... the small of a woman's back... the hanging curve ball, high fiber, GOOD scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, over-rated crap. I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone! I believe there oughtta be a Constitutional Amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter; I believe in the sweet spot, softcore pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, WET kisses that last three days."
Finding the best spot in the crawlspace to bury the - hey look, the Pope!
Finding the nuttiest, most batshit bipolar woman in the room; either I can't take my eyes off her, or she can't take hers off me. I'm fucked either way.
Like Marshall on "How I Met Your Mother," I can rock a killer foot massage with one hand while brewing a kick-ass pot of chamomile tea with the other that would make you weep. Hell. I've forgotten more about microwaving fat free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than most guys will ever know.
J.R.R. Tolkien - The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit
C.S. Lewis - Just about anything; I got started with Narnia as a kid, then read his Space trilogy, and most of his Christian apologetics
Guy Gavriel Kay - Brilliant fantasist
Orson Scott Card - Every book he writes is brilliance; truly one of the best speculative fiction writers out there.
Christopher Moore - Has yet to write a book that didn't make me laugh my ass off.
Stephen King - King is the master
David McCullough - his biography of John Adams was amazing
Thomas Sowell - a brilliant economic thinker; his "Basic Economics" should be required reading for everyone.
Movies (in no particular order):
The Princess Bride, O Brother Where Art Thou?, The Godfather (Parts I and II), The Matrix (ONLY the first one), The Lord of the Rings (all 3), Somewhere in Time, Shakespeare in Love, West Side Story, Chicago, Brigadoon, Notting Hill, Love Actually, Groundhog Day, It's a Wonderful Life, The Lion in Winter, Ben-Hur, Singin' In the Rain, Serenity, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Almost Famous, The Outlaw Josey Wales, Stardust, A League of Their Own, Amadeus, Immortal Beloved, This Is Spinal Tap, Raising Arizona, The Right Stuff, Kill Bill (Vols. 1 & 2), The King's Speech, A Room With a View, Bull Durham, The Dark Knight, the Harry Potter Movies (all 8, but ESPECIALLY "Prisoner of Azkaban" and "The Deathly Hallows Part 2")
TV Shows (both current and not):
The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Cheers, Yankee Workshop, Night Music (a really awesome late-night show in the 80s on NBC, hosted by saxophonist David Sanborn, that featured a verry eclectic mix of jazz and rock musicians performing. It was a shame when it went off the air.)
Everything - and, when I say "everything," I don't mean it in the sense of "any sort of popular music." I was a music major in college; I really do love ALL music. Rock, Pop, Classical, Jazz, Country, R&B, African music, Asian music, Indian music, Russian folk music. I do seriously love it all.
(Just to give a clearer picture: recently, I was listening to AC/DC on iTunes... and when the end of the AC/DC section was reached, what came up next was... Vivaldi, as performed by the Academy of St. Martin-in-the-Fields. Bit of cultural dissonance? I suppose so, but I welcomed the difference, and the rapid shift in flavor. That's me.)
That said, some favorites:
Jaco Pastorius, Mozart, The Allman Brothers, Sara Evans, Shelly Fairchild, Miles Davis, Van Halen, Led Zeppelin, Duke Ellington, Mahler, Tschaikovsky, Brad Paisley, Eminem, James Brown, The Temptations, Marvin Gaye, Finger Eleven, The Neville Brothers, The Funky Meters, Ray Charles, Vivaldi, Huey Lewis and the News, AC/DC, The Police, Al Green, The Mahotella Queens, Lynrd Skynrd, Wicked Tinkers, The Clancy Brothers, Meniskus, Motley Crue... I could really go on and on.
All of it. I am truly omnivorous.
And wine. All wine - red, white, dessert; it's all good.
And beer. GUINNESS!
- Twisted logic
- Well-timed distractions
The absurdity of vegetarian smokers.
"Just what would it take to make it LOOK like spontaneous human combustion, with absolutely no evidence at all of outside human agency?"
The unexplainably persistent idiocy of Socialist thinking.
"Did I leave the iron on?"
Everyone assumes cats are smarter than dogs... tell me, if they were, in fact, quite a bit stupider than dogs, how would their behavior be any different than it is now?
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm tastyyyyyyy mmmmmmmmmm..."
...OR... talking to myself in a corner, and trying to reduce the lag between thinking of something to say, and actually saying it, to zero.
Try it; it's harder than it sounds.
- To warn me of an impending zombie apocalypse (but please, have proof; certain political candidacies don't count).
- You are Scottish (complete with the accent), dazzlingly beautiful, are independently wealthy, and think that I am just fab. (Actually, any one of those reasons alone is good enough)
- You are engaged in life-saving research, and absolutely MUST have my vital organs to complete your findings. In this case, your message can be fairly brief: just let me know exactly when you plan to arrive
- You feel a mad desire to cook a gourmet meal for someone, and darn the luck, everyone you know has other plans.
Apart from those:
E-mail me if you are passionate - about anything! It really doesn't matter what you are passionate about, just that you have that fire. I would rather meet someone who is crazymad about something I couldn't care less about, who burns with that passion, than someone who likes all the right things because she somehow feels she is "supposed to." That's crap. Very little irritates me like women who like sushi, foreign films, flamenco and gypsy jazz, and the collected works of Pablo Neruda - all because those are the things that a hip, pretentious, urban sophisticate is SUPPOSED to like. Love what you love, not what someone tells you that you ought to love.
If the phrase "social justice" causes you to have a reaction that alternates between a rolling of the eyes and a sardonic smirk, then you just might be the woman for me, and you should e-mail me.
Finally, you should know that I am semi-serious about the zombie apocalypse thing. If that shit comes down, I will need a buddy... preferably, one that runs just a shade slower than I do