Feminist, intellectual, lawful good, submissive, polyamorous, nerd, arguably queer, privileged, sometimes switchy, excessively educated professional, user of labels but not defined by them.
I'm not looking for a one night stand, though I am open to finding play partners. I am looking for one nightstand, as my bed needs a second one, but that really isn't relevant at all here.
On those compatibility factors - I'm kinky and non-monogamous. The first is important but not essential; the second is non-negotiable, though I am not necessarily wedded to a particular style of poly. I do not have a primary partner. I am open to the idea of one, though I have historically been bad at relationships with people who *need* a specific level of commitment off the bat; I prefer relationships that develop organically to a comfortable level for all parties.
As far as kink, hypermasculine presentation notwithstanding, I am primarily submissive, though I do switch. See my message me if section for greater detail on what I'd like to find. Outside the bedroom, I prefer a relationship with a fairly equal power balance for important things, and a bit of D/s flavoring for minor ones.
I'm tall, handsome, sophisticated, funny, a bit nerdy, and surprisingly good on paper, for what self-serving statements on a faceless profile are worth. I'm arguably queer but don't feel entirely comfortable claiming that identity due to a surfeit of privilege. Whether that's a good or bad thing overall is a question to which I'm not sure of the answer.
If you're interested, please send me a message or IM me - I don't really approach women with this profile. I'm sure y'all have enough unwanted attention to deal with as is. I prefer to date or play mostly with people who have a clear sense of what they want. But if you're new or just curious, feel encouraged to message me; I've helped a number of people navigate their way into kink successfully, and am involved in the ethically nonmonogamy and kink communities here in New York.
Seriously, probably my size. I'm a big guy with a fairly commanding presence, so that's probably what people notice first.
I am told that I - and this profile - present as somewhat hypermasculine. That's not entirely false, but it is a very long way from a complete picture of me.
I'll leave it with this quote:
"When I was 5, my teacher asked me what I wanted to do in life. I said, 'Be happy.' My teacher told me I didn't understand the question; I told her she didn't understand life."
2. My Kindle
4. Smart phone.
5. Gym membership
6. Friends, family, and the like.
The use of the "seeing someone" status. If you're in a closed monogamous relationship, why are you on a dating site? If you're actually looking for new partners, why not use "available?" If someone would care to explain this to me, I'd like to understand it better. I won't even ask why you're checking out headless torso profiles despite the fact that you're "seeing someone."
If it is possible / how to build a relationship(s) with a strong D/s dynamic that is compatible with polyamory and which I can be comfortable in.
Someone messaged me on this profile and told me it had inspired her to be more proactive in seeking out what she really wanted. That made my day.
A friend of mine said, "When I first saw your profile, I figured you were headless because you didn't have a pretty face." So, at her suggestion, I am clarifying that I do indeed have a pretty face. I'd just rather coworkers or acquaintances of mine not associate that face with this profile.
That said, I am principally interested in meeting a female-identified person who is naturally dominant, with a fairly affectionate style and zero to moderate sadism, who is bi, pansexual, or queer. It's more important to me that a domme has a strong desire to be in control and to recieve pleasure than it is she be experienced with the technical aspects of kink. I am open to(and potentially very interested in) a relationship that extends D/s outside the bedroom, provided that such power is exercised mutually beneficially and not in a strictly selfish manner. Switchiness could work, though I prefer taking an exclusively submissive role (which may still involve me being forceful or aggressive, but not overall in control). I definitely don't require someone to meet all these criteria, or to be willing to commit to meeting any of them up front.
I'm also very open to a submissive who is very eager, able to articulate her interests. Interest, adventurousness, and communication are more important than experience. I cannot get into a dominant role without a very clear understanding of what someone likes or wants to try; I enjoy dominance significantly because I enjoy providing and controlling pleasure. Switchiness is a definite positive.
Physical attraction is fairly important to me, but I do not have a type. I've been attracted to women half my size and to women who are larger than me. That said, I'm much more likely to message you if you have pics that spark attraction in me, which generally means full body pics. This is much less relevant if it is clear you have compatible kink interests.
Also potentially open to couples, but strictly straight men usually add zero value for me.
Non-straight men: be dominant, friendly, extremely articulate, and ideally paired with a dominant woman. I'd be curious to explore, but I'm only rarely attracted to men and would need someone who wanted to dominate me and could also show respect and a bit of patience.
I'm quite open to talking about kink and polyamory with the generally curious. Even if we're not specifically compatible I also enjoy making friends and introducing people to kink.
For what it's worth, being pretty aggressive is much more likely to succeed than not doing so.
I am not turned off by explicit messages or personal questions up front, as long as they are included within complete, grammatical sentences with proper spelling. Though if you're a domme who is primarily into belittling submissives or mostly wants non-sexual service, we are not a match. I am entirely open to dating professional dommes, but have zero interest in hiring them - my submission is principally about pleasing someone, so if it's not wanted for its own sake, I have no interest in giving it.