32Manhattan, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
This is not your typical headless profile. It's anonymous because it makes it much easier to be open and direct about my preferences. I am actually particularly interested in substantial, serious relationships; it's just that this makes it easier to sort out some compatibility factors I find essential or at least very desirable.[Edit: now including an artist's rendition of what my head would look like if I had one.]

Feminist, intellectual, lawful good, submissive, polyamorous, nerd, arguably queer, privileged, sometimes switchy, excessively educated professional. I don't attribute a great deal of importance to labels, but they are very useful for the efficient exchange of information, which is the goal here. I probably qualify as queer but tend to think it's improper for me to use that label due to a surfeit of privilege.

I'm not looking for a one night stand, though I am open to finding play partners. I am looking for one nightstand, as my bed needs a second one, but that really isn't relevant at all here.

On those compatibility factors - I'm kinky and non-monogamous. The first is important but not essential; the second is non-negotiable, though I am not necessarily wedded to a particular style of poly. I do not have a primary partner. I am open to the idea of one, but I don't do well in "we need to be THIS serious or GTFO" relationships. I prefer relationships that develop organically to a comfortable level for all parties.

As far as kink, hypermasculine presentation notwithstanding, I am primarily submissive, though I do switch. See my message me if section for greater detail on what I'd like to find. Outside the bedroom, I prefer a relationship with a fairly equal power balance for important things, and a bit of D/s flavoring for minor ones.

If you're interested, please send me a message or IM me - I don't really approach women with this profile. I'm sure y'all have enough unwanted attention to deal with as is. I prefer to date or play mostly with people who have a clear sense of what they want. But if you're new or just curious, feel encouraged to message me; I've helped a number of people navigate their way into kink successfully, and am involved in the ethical nonmonogamy and kink communities here in New York.
What I’m doing with my life
Exploring. I feel there are so many more places to go, things to do, and things to have done to me. Also, working a lot, and cooking all the things.

I have a job that requires a fancy degree and is somewhat cliche for a man with my kink interests. My free time is mostly spent reading, lifting, cooking, gaming, and spending quality time with quality people.

I'm very much interested in experiencing more of the city and having more out-of-the-way experiences; I'm up for a lot but not always great at seeking it out on my own.
The first things people usually notice about me
The fact that I have no head. That photo isn't cropped.

Seriously, probably my size. I'm a big guy with a fairly commanding presence, so that's probably what people notice first.

I am told that I - and this profile - present as somewhat hypermasculine. That's not entirely false, but it is a very long way from a complete picture of me. (Note: I don't believe in gender as a normatively meaningful concept, but that's a separate rant. This paragraph should still make sense.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
[This has been redacted to prevent comparison with any other profiles I may or may not have. I tend to enjoy fiction with richly developed and believable characters. My taste runs to sci-fi/fantasy; I'm a nerd but not on the hardcore end of the spectrum. Curiously, I've found I tend to get along well with people who appreciate the Venture Brothers. Other interests include economics, LGBTQ issues, gender relations, and social justice, though my perspectives on these are probably not that typical.]

I'll leave it with this quote:

"When I was 5, my teacher asked me what I wanted to do in life. I said, 'Be happy.' My teacher told me I didn't understand the question; I told her she didn't understand life."
Six things I could never do without
1. The interweb?
2. My Kindle
3. Subspace
4. Smart phone.
5. Gym membership
6. Friends, family, and the like.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The use of the "seeing someone" status. If you're in a closed monogamous relationship, why are you on a dating site? If you're actually looking for new partners, why not use "available?" If someone would care to explain this to me, I'd like to understand it better. I won't even ask why you're checking out headless torso profiles despite the fact that you're "seeing someone."

If it is possible / how to build a relationship(s) with a strong D/s dynamic that is compatible with polyamory and which I can be comfortable in.

When people say they want someone "open minded," is that code for "Didn't vote for Trump" or "Will let me put things in your butt?" Both? (My answers to both should be very easy to guess.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I actually have an optimal number of nightstands but am unwilling to part with that joke.

Someone messaged me on this profile and told me it had inspired her to be more proactive in seeking out what she really wanted. That made my day.

A friend of mine said, "When I first saw your profile, I figured you were headless because you didn't have a pretty face." So, at her suggestion, I am clarifying that I do indeed have a pretty face. I'd just rather coworkers or acquaintances of mine not associate that face with this profile.
You should message me if
While the following describes my preferences and interests, feel encouraged to message me if you think we'd get along well. I date people, not abstract identities.

I am most interested in meeting a female-identified person who is a domme or a domme-leaning switch. I'm open to a lot of relationship styles, but would ideally like to find someone with excellent personal and sexual chemistry for something resembling a primary relationship. I would be open to/prefer something non-dyadic, but that seems like something that develops rather than something one specifically seeks out. I won't go into too much detail on my specific kinks, but this is also my fetlife handle and I'm happy to discuss.

I'm open to dating submissives as well, but honestly if you just want a dominant play partner, I'm not a great choice, unless you're looking for more of a service top /are experienced and can clearly articulate your preferences.

Potentially open to couples if at least one of you is dominant. Generally open to and interested in non-dyadic relationships, but obviously those can be hard to build.

Single non-straight men - I'm very, very rarely attracted to men and the only messages I get from them on here are... uninspiring. Be dominant and articulate and competent, at a minimum. I don't want to jerk off with you in a totally straight way, bro.

Non-binary - my attraction tends to be pretty femme-centric but I'm quite open.

Physical attraction is fairly important to me, but I do not have a type. I'm a lot less likely to respond if I can't actually tell what you look like from your profile pics and you don't remedy this with your first message.

I'm not turned off by aggression or explicit messages, as long as they're reasonably well-written. Actually, I'm totally into aggression being directed towards me in a good way.

If we have high compatibility, I'm happy to start conversations with people who aren't local. It's nice to have a network of awesome people around the country/globe.
The two of us