37Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
Let's see... A little about me. I work too much, and relax not enough. I like to read classic literature to better myself, and watch classic films to feel hip and urbane. I like to think I have good taste in music, and when I karaoke I feel compelled to warn people I'm tone deaf. I don't wear my glasses anymore unless I'm being lazy. I was engaged once, so I'm mostly domesticated. Mostly. I think I'm really funny, and always laugh at my own jokes. Is that so wrong?

My name is Joseph (you can call me Joe), and I'm a 37 year old living in a seemingly cool, but harsh section of Los Angeles, California.

If you have anymore questions of me, please, feel free to ask. I am generally a pretty open individual. This sounds really trite, eh?

I am tall, blond, and sardonic
What I’m doing with my life
I ask myself daily, sometimes twice daily.

I'll list out all the jobs I've ever wanted (at least since 3rd grade)-

Fire Fighter, Police officer, Submarine Captain, Comedian, FBI Agent, International Super Spy, CIA Agent, Film Critic, Film Director, Funeral Director, Cinematographer, Writer (Script/Screen)... Honestly I'm starting to lean back toward funeral director.

I guess I'll just work on my cult of personality.
I’m really good at
I'm not so sure anymore. I think most of my skills have withered over time.

Helping people move. Making beans. Chasing children while pretending to be a robot. Flirting with lesbians, unknowingly. Dancing like a white man. Finding Speed Traps. Burning vacation time. Hitting my head, because of my height. Looking more important than I am. Acting inappropiate in the workplace. Not reflecting corporate values. Attempted take-overs of small political parties. Kazooing. Dating without getting anywhere. Falling out of an airplane without hurting myself. Being out of step in relationships.

Also, I am The Master of Hamhanded Subtlety.
The first things people usually notice about me
Damn... How do you spell oafish? Please be aware I don't always look as dopey as I do in my photo. I usually look much, much worse. Heh. Honestly, when clean shaven I look like I'm twelve.

Recently told by a young lady that her first impression of me was some sort of clerk. Lady, let me tell you, I keep no records.

Was just told this profile isn't as witty & funny as I am, just kinda sad. Hey! I'm flipping hilarious, but I just really wanna be loved for what's on the outside. - Wait, I may have that backward.

Also as a couple 'runner ups' for my three words: Credulous, and Dopey.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(a) The Diamond Age or, A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer by Neal Stephenson.

I also enjoy British Literature, James Jones novels, Heinlein's sci-fi, Ayn Rand's fiction, and H.P. Lovecraft.

(b) The Killing (1956) by Stanley Kubrick.

I also enjoy classic film, cult film, spagetti westerns, and directors like Ed Wood, Kevin Smith, and Orson Welles. I finally purchased a copy of my favorite Welles, The Magnificent Ambersons. It's fatalistic and beautiful. (Like I like my women)

(c) Summer Wind by Frank Sinatra.

I also enjoy listening to jazz, blues, and lounge music. Classic rock also has a large-ish place in my heart. I don't really get modern rock, but I am trying. I'm kind of an old man in a sexy young man's body.

- If I claim to be a fan of Radiohead, I am lying. I only own five of their nine studio albums, which is not good enough for a true fan.

(d) I don't know, something with its picture on the menu at Shari's? (NW 24hr Piehouse) As long as I have a cup of coffee I'm pretty good. I also enjoy cheese. I enjoy toast. So simple, so complex. You know you feel the same way.

I am an omnivore, but willing to switch diets for the right person. If you are a baconavore, this could be unhealthy in the long run.
Six things I could never do without
Nothing really. I'm a survivor, though I would be nearly blind without my contacts or glasses. I guess I would say shoes. Your mobility is limited without shoes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What I'm doing with my life, and what I'm good at...

According to the Fortune-Telling Birthday Book, in reference to my birthday, June 10th.

I am ambitious and venturesome and apt to rush into things. I am led with better results than if I were driven. I am conscientious and sincere in everything. I am capable of a strong and lasting love.

What a bunch of hogwash.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drinking my way to liver problems in later life, or working late and wishing I was drinking.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I moved to Los Angeles from Portland almost two years ago. All these city names are still a bit confusing to me. I drove an hour for a lame date in Westminister. Yeah.

I'm tired of looking for my first ex-wife. I'm searching for my best ex-girlfriend now. This is all sarcasm. I'm mostly harmless.

Also, I'm on OKCupid because it's free, and I'm cheap and easy.
You should message me if
And that's a big IF, you feel like it.

What I'm looking for is a classy lady, who is both smart and funny. Quick witted and feisty, is good as well. It would also help if she had a high tolerance for idiots. I have big feet, and am often found with my foot in my mouth. Just to forewarn.

Also I'm looking for tall. I'm tall, we can be tall together. Tall isn't a deal breaker, I just know how ridiculous I would be standing next to a lady 4'11". You know?

I hope this honesty doesn't scare anyone off. Independent minded only need apply. Please bring your own opinions, lunch will be provided for applicants.

This is a serious offer. I will buy you lunch + drinks/beer. Let's live life already!
The two of us