31Newport News, United States
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My self-summary
INTJ- so really, xxxx

Given my dating history, I am not here to find a wife or a significant other. I am here to occupy the position of supporter, lover, confidante, and friend until I can accidentally introduce you to the person you want to be with. Fuck all you ungrateful, unfaithful, lying pieces of shit out there. If you do not fit the criteria for that message, I obviously do not mean you.

Disclaimer: messages/conversations are subject to reproduction for entertainment purposes. Also, I won't edit your profile name out. This is so we can point when we laugh. Don't underestimate my ability to be a giant asshat. It has cost many people their lives. Not really, but it sounded cool.

I violate the Universal law of Mechanics (the amount of mechanical knowledge you possess is inversely proportional to the number of teeth you have).
I frequently describe myself as an asshole. However,
a good and longtime friend told me I am not an asshole, as I am generally easy to be around and quite fun even. He said "You have no desire to deal with bullshit and your attitude reflects that when you encounter it. It doesn't make you an asshole, it makes you someone that doesn't stand for Bullshit." I think that is a fairly accurate description.

To equate judgement and wisdom to occupation -former or current- is, at best, insulting.

My certifications and degrees include (but aren't limited to): MBA in-flight missile repairman, MBA underwater basket weaving, expert claymore specialist, hazmat disposal, Asian motorcycle tech, European motorcycle tech, ATV tech, personal watercraft tech, snowmobile tech, and expert jackass...

Now to take this (semi)seriously..

I'm not really looking to date or get married; I'm here to find a woman I hate so I can give her half of my stuff. And I'm hoping to pick up a couple of friends to go do actively active activities. Like paintball, racing, off-roading, or something else that by the time you're done you look like you bathed in your outfit but don't smell like it. Adrenaline rushes are a bonus as they're hard to come by.

Also: I have better than perfect vision. I do not have any genetic conditions of that I know. I don't: take any medication; ask if there is anything specific in food(except if it is spicy, because spicy is MANDATORY); have any reaction to poison ivy, oak, or sumac; or just about anything else you can think of. Genetically, I am quite the catch. Just saying. After all, this is a dating site.
What I’m doing with my life
I wrote this originally to celebrate my motorcycle and demonstrate its importance in my life. Now that she was stolen, I leave it as an homage to a fallen companion. Still working through the emotions on this one. RIP Spark, you will be missed. July 2011-April 2016

I have myself a horse,
And Spark is her name.
And though she's made of steel,
I love her all the same.

Wait, that isn't true,
I was quick to speak before.
Because she is of metal,
I love her even more.

She will never be the fastest,
Of any of the steeds.
But because of how she's built,
I can ride her where I please.

Through snow covered mountains,
Wooded, winding trails,
Sands of endless desert,
She will never fail.

And though you might mock her,
Or even me, you see.
It doesn't really matter,
For we will always be.

And if you are a place,
Where you don't expect a bike...
You might just see my Spark,
Be it day or night.

I am learning. Constantly. And sometimes I help people. I instruct when I'm confident that my information is correct. I am not always friendly, but I am always honest now (as I have lied in the past). I just do me.
I’m really good at
Hands on tasks and trouble shooting (in some cases literally). Taking things too far. Games- video, board, tabletop or otherwise. Precision skills.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm sure it depends on a lot of factors. When I ask this question, the most common response is "you're a funny asshole and I like that." or just "you're an asshole" as of late.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fantasy, sci-fi, military, repair manuals, text books. If you have advanced math, biology, or physics texts books you don't want anymore- I will love you for forever.

Fantasy, sci-fi, comedy, action, adventure, martial arts...

Sci-fi, comedy, stand up, documentaries..

Classical, OST(game&movie), rock, techno, and anything worth listening to whilst riding.

Practically Anything.
Six things I could never do without
Ha. There isn't anything to put on this list. my motorcycle could have made it on this list. but alas, poor yorick.

Anyways, feel free to spread mine too and fro, for those of you that six just isn't enough. If they question it, please use your middle finger to point them in my general direction.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
When you stand up, where does your lap go? Why drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why do aliens abduct the dumbest people and why are they just as fascinated with sodomy as some people? Why my rice krispies never have anything valuable to contribute to the conversation at hand? When will I get my very own pet dragon? Why so many vegans/vegetarians are on this site..? When will some vegetarians learn that our ability to eat plant matter is a back-up to eating meat? Why so many people that insist one must have proper syntax, grammar, spelling, and intelligence to message them but their profile is 'jacked-up'? Why this, why that, and why everything else? When everything that is right is removed- do you have all that is wrong, or all that is left?

Short answer: just about everything.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm doing shit. Stop fucking prying. Stalker.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
So.. when I was little I happened to think that the toilet also doubled as a water-based teleportation system. I might have drawn this conclusion from cartoons. I may have also drawn a great deal of other conclusions from cartoons. Needless to say, my parents weren't amused that I wanted to give some of my toys and some of our food to kids in Africa. Or maybe they just didn't like my choice of shipping it. At least the plumber wasn't surprised.

They didn't know for at least a week.

I was raised Christian. When my therapist told me that it wasn't healthy to have imaginary friends, I told God he had to kick rocks.

I might have had to learn "put your best foot forward" doesn't mean kick someone in the face.

Also, "light the way" does not translate into burn everything to the ground.
You should message me if
Are we doing this or not? I have shit to do.
The two of us