33Saint Paul, United States
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My self-summary
I like watching stuff while eating stuff. I prefer to remain recumbent, but I am capable of long walks, and I have magical feet that never blister. I'm happy when summer ends because I don't like the heat very much and autumn is my favorite season anyway.

I can't stand beer. I'm getting a lot of crap about that from you people, but you're not thinking clearly. See, I'll never take any of yours. Similarly, anyone out there like red wine? That way I get all the white.

I'm a linguistic prescriptivist. The horrible things people do to English make me sad and angry. That being said, I don't like to hyphenate.

I'm very fond of hats. That's hats, not caps.

I'll be goddamned if butts will ever not be hilarious to me. I just feel like they work on multiple levels.
What I’m doing with my life
Planning long term purchases. I've been looking for a house for a while and keeping an eye on prices for the car I want.

Planning travel. Seems like I'm always going somewhere.

Trying to find pants that will still be long enough after I run them through the dryer.
I’m really good at
Cooking, Scrabble, singing, avoiding stuff I don't want to talk about. I wish I was better at crosswords.

It took me almost a year, but I mastered biscuits and pie crust! Pizza dough continues to kick my ass, though.

I'm good at selecting apples. I know it doesn't sound like much, but nobody else in my family can do it. I was ten before I learned apples are supposed to crunch.

I'm fantastic at finding a webcomic that sums up a situation. Tell me what's going on in your life and I'll come up with a link to a relevant comic inside of five minutes. Usually I'll have one in mind right away but will need to trawl an archive to find it.

I am seriously the best at giving presents. I channel the limitations of money and time into a meaningful item based on the recipient's known interests like nobody's business. It's like a fun logic puzzle that I also get to pick out a colorful bow for.

Here's some stuff I'm bad at: changing an entertainment center into a play kitchen, math (arithmetic is okay), social cues, pretty much any physical activity, pottery, reading music, anything requiring a candy thermometer, logistics, carrying yarn, pouring without spilling or dripping, taking shots and loading the dishwasher.
The first things people usually notice about me
I get really excited about sharing what I know and learning what other people know. I'm lucky that I get to do that a lot at my job.

I'm probably wearing glasses.

Judging by my pictures, I am about never home. But really, why would I take pictures of where I live? I know what where I live looks like and I can go to different parts of it whenever. There is no need to immortalize it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite books of all time are Watership Down, The White Company, Poland and The Blue Nowhere. I like James Michener, Jeffrey Archer, Jane Austen and others whose first names don't start with J.

I have two Pandora stations. One is "David Bowie" and the other is "The 90s".

Steak is my favorite food. New York pizza is also really good.
Six things I could never do without
At work, it's coffee, flavored creamer to put in coffee so it doesn't taste like coffee anymore, album versions of songs on Youtube, headphones, my sweater and the program I downloaded to make Windows 8 look and behave more like Windows 7, because I do not like change and because Windows 8 sucks.

At home, it's my Chromebook, my nail clippers, headphones, my cats, ice and socks.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Condiments. You'd think they'd be strictly opt-in, as they are viscous substances it's impossible to remove from food should you not want to eat them, but in fact often they are not even opt-out.

Do not get me started on prepackaged lunches.
On a typical Friday night I am
My friends and I usually stay in when we hang out. We'll eat stuff and watch stuff. If we're watching something bad, we make fun of it. If we're watching something good, we analyze it. If we're watching something indifferent, we change it to something else.

If I go out, I like live performances, usually comedy. I also like karaoke if I've been drinking.

If I don't have plans, I fuck around on the Internet until I can't keep my eyes open.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I hate the word "gal".

I hold a position on the Wars of the Roses.

When I am stuffed up, I like to sing "Twisted" by Keith Sweat.

I only just learned how to text from a wikiHow.
Update: I learned a punctuation shortcut. Sweet! Now I don't have to avoid contractions anymore.
Update update: New phone! Now I have a keyboard. I don't know how I lived without one.

I didn't want or much like kids for years, and at some point, I don't know when, I started to think that children are cute and it'd be pretty satisfying to mold a new person, and that really pisses me off. Nothing has changed, but my biology is tricking me.
You should message me if
You think I'm attractive, you enjoyed what you've read, and you'd like to have a conversation to figure out if we want to go out on a date with each other.

Here is some shit I just didn't think I had to come out and say:

Be commutable. I like it here. I'm not moving.

Be a reasonable match. I pay attention to some of the questions because they're deal breakers. That's their purpose. Like, try not to be a huge ol' racist for starters. Or 19.

Have a picture. Write some answers. What else am I supposed to go on?
The two of us