LDG1819
35 Akron, United States
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LDG1819
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My self-summary
So this is my second go 'round on Club Cupid. My previous attempt was a comedy of fruitless errors although it wasn't all that bad, as it didn't result in any trips to the Harold K. Stubbs Justice Center to get a restraining order or me being on the receiving end of an ass kicking for stepping out (unwittingly) with some big, angry fella's wife.

I'm not exactly sure what brought me back here, as I stated I really didn't have much success on here before. That doesn't mean that I can't find what I'm looking for, so I guess I've brought back by cautious optimism with a side of boredom and a fondness for answering the 1,000s of questions on the Q&A segment.

As far as what I'm looking for, well that might be better stated by explaining what the hell I'm not looking for. Ready for it? The list goes as follows: I'm not looking for anything random, i.e., new pieces of random ass to romp with, superficial hook ups, month long message swappery, etc. I have absolutely no desire to be in a text'lationship. I don't mind texting, it's a very convenient form of communicating, but it can't be an exclusive form of communicating. I'm not in a rush here, but eventually I want to graduate from message exchanges to actually talking and meeting beyond that if there is mutual interest and chemistry. I'm not looking to dive head first into anything too heavy, that's never been a wise move to make for me, but the idea of casual and serial dating is equally bad. I'm on my Danny Glover "I'm too old for this sh*t" thing when it comes to dating. I don't want to juggle...It's exhausting. I guess in a word what I want is friend'panionship. That would be a "LaMikhaelism" that means a connection with depth, substance and potential. I don't have any unrealistic, grandiose expectations here, but I do want to connect with someone that I connect with. Does that make sense? I want a person that's genuinely interested in me and available, someone with real future ex-wife potential. I don't think that's asking for too much, is it?

So to put a bow on that long ass explanation of what I'm in search of...Just know that I don't want a fling or something that doesn't have growth potential. No rush...I'm not trying to meet your tax deductions (children) just yet, nor would I be comfortable with someone meeting mine. The whole getting to know someone dating process is just that, as process. It kind of sucks, but it beats the alternative of being alone with your cats and Facebook addiction. So, here I am, dipping my toes back in the water and hoping that this around the next time I leave will be because I've found what I'm looking for via who I'm hoping for.
What I’m doing with my life
Besides spending a beautiful Sunday afternoon on this devil box filling out this ultra involved profile? I'm trying to be the best father to my girls (I have two crumb snatching tax deductions). I want to be the same type of provider, character and discipline builder to my daughters that my parents were to me.
I’m really good at
Writing out long winded, kick ass self essays on free dating websites.
Quoting lines from movies that I haven't seen in ages. Getting caught taking naps at work...Don't judge me, I work the midnight shift! Finding the awesome'est random stuff for friends, family and the co-workers that I can tolerate at thrift stores and yard sales. Functioning off of less than 4 hours of sleep. Adding to my ever growing shoe collection. I'm actually really good a bunch of things, seeing that mediocre is the new really good, but I'd rather show ya than tell ya:)
The first things people usually notice about me
My chocolate'ish, moderately decent looks and chubby boy charm.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite books....ones that I can use to get the attention of the smarty, artsy, prescription eyeglass wearers at the local hipster coffee spot. The right book can make even the biggest moron look studious.

Favorite movies....Anything not associated with that spawn of Satan Tyler Perry! I know that I'm going to lose points with some (because all black women love his god awful, terribly predictable coon flicks), but I'd rather shoot myself than watch another one of his movies or shows. So no we can't get Madea goes to community college from the Red Box on our first date.

Favorite TV shows....My all time favorite is probably Martin. The first 4 seasons of the series are golden to me. Season 5 was pretty bad, just like season 4 of The Boondocks, but overall both were great. If you're also a fan of Martin, we have something to build off of. I was a huge fan of the HBO series, The Wire, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Boardwalk Empire. I damn near shed a tear when Boardwalk went away from me, but found it's equal (and replacement) in Shameless. I'm also hooked on Don Cheadle's House of Lies. Currently I'm getting into Ballers and Sonic Highways on HBO, as well as Orange and Narcos on Netflix. I highly recommend Narcos if you're into crime dramas. I'd never classify myself a nerd or a geek, as I don't think that I am, nor do I believe in self labeling that way, but I do have nerd tendencies when it comes to some of my TV interests. I absolutely love true crime, especially in documentary form. Give me Forensic Files, A&E, ID, etc. and I'm happy as a fat kid at a cake convention.

Favorite musics...Yes, I said musics. I'm a huge, huge music buff, so I have too many favorite artists and genres to list. I listen to and own a little bit of everything from classic rock, to old school jheri curl era soul music, to country, to the most gully west coast gangsta rap music from the mid 90's.

Favorite foods...I'm an overall fan of good ol' "make you fat and sleepy" American heart attack specials. I really don't do anything exotic. I'm a regular Joe when it comes to food consumption, so a tasty Big Kahuna burger and Sprite works just fine for me. I like local, mom and pop eateries. Hole in the walls do it for...I always say the best places to eat are places where a fight might break in at any moment. I like chains like Chili's and Red Lobster too, all hail the cheddar biscuits:) I'm not a very adventurous eater, though. I'm probably the most selective fat boy that you'll meet when it comes to food. I don't step outside of familiar/comfortable zones, I know what I like and stick with that exclusively. I call it food loyalty, but it's really just a part of my personality that doesn't love change and trying the unknown.
The six things I could never do without
My iPod, my family (sans my worthless older brother), my sweater vest and ties, my love of music and sports, my Snapple raspberry iced tea packets, and my once mighty, now mediocre Miami Hurricanes....We're coming back!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Relative to this site I spend time (I'm not that I'd consider it to be a lot of time, though) thinking about the lack of diversity here. I've also thought about why some groups seem to be less open to dating outside of their race and religion, while others seem to be entirely open minded regarding race and such.

And why women feel the need to defend their physical dimensions with disclaimers and explanations. I'm sure that some are conditioned to do so through negative experiences with shallow ass guys both online and in the real world. I personally hate to see it and wish that people weren't so quick to judge folks based solely on the cosmetic .

Oh, and I also think about some of the answers on the Q&A segment of the profiles that I've come across. The one that always amazes me is the question about which is worse, starving children or starving dogs. How anyone could say a starving animal is worse than a human is beyond my comprehension. And just an FYI....The Sun is bigger than the Earth....Much, much, much bigger!
On a typical Friday night I am
If I'm not at work, I'm probably at home getting down on random homebody activities such as "stealing" music for my iPod. My inner cheapskate won't permit me to pay for music on iTunes. During the fall I'm usually at high school football games on Friday nights. There's nothing better to me than early autumn weather, cheap concession stand nachos and hot dogs, and the collection of mini van owning milf types in the bleachers at Polk High football games.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm only here to convert you....Yes you, into a chubby chaser!
You should message me if
If you like chocolate (yes, that is an innuenda). You should message me if guys that dress like Carlton Banks turn you on. If you prefer buddha bellies to six pack abs you message me. If you can recognize and appreciate the humor and smartcasticness of the content of this "sales pitch" you should definitely message.

And if you don't have a crazy, soon to be paroled ex in the picture.

If the length and sarcasm of this profile isn't too much, too overwhelming for you.
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