32Lawrence, United States
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My self-summary
I am NOT here for hookups. But I'm versatile, shaved, and have 300 close up Instagram-filtered pictures of my butthole. Very proud of my "outie". Recently taught it to wink. Why is it so hard to find normal guys? Into movies, music, fashion, bronies, double fisting, contemporary art, and putting my nipples onto electric fences. Also looking for someone to listen to records with.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm working my 9-5 M-F and I'm trying to eventually get myself to the west coast. I did teach my parrot to fetch and roll over. I'm currently teaching my cat to use the toilet.
I’m really good at
Hooping! I'm a goddess at it! I'm also pretty damn good at cooking.
The first things people usually notice about me
My face, I guess.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite book is my favorite movie, and it's Fight Club. I'm a huge Coen brothers fan and I love Bluegrass and Dubstep!
Six things I could never do without
Preparation H, lube, baby wipes, coffee enemas, my collection of David Icke lectures, and my gerbil, Lemmiwinks.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I'm really into the Reptilian theory. I personally believe in it. I think there's too many facts presented by geniuses out there (who know the truth!) for it not to be a legitimate thing. They're taking over. We need to get serious.
On a typical Friday night I am
I like to get drunk by shoving vodka soaked tampons up my ass.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My vagina looks like a high school theatre curtain.
You should message me if
Please, don't be a creeper. I won't make a very good victim.
The two of us