------Southern California Polyamory Meetup Group------
If you are interested in open relationships, having more than one loving long term relationship with everyone knowing about one another or if you identify as polyamorous, poly friendly, or poly curious AND you live near Los Angeles, or are willing to drive here, please join the Southern California Polyamory Meetup Group (click here) I am the Organizer of this Meetup along with TeufelWolf, so let us know you found it on OKCupid :-). I have had several people tell me the link above is not linking to the site. Here is the actual web address for the group - http://www.meetup.com/SoCal-Polyamory .
Our next Polyamory Meetup is always the first Saturday of the month at 8pm. Please join the Meetup Group (click here) for location details.
FYI, this IS NOT a swingers club or casual sex group. Please message me if you do not know the difference between polyamory, swinging and casual sex. All our events are family friendly (just be willing to supervise your own children).
We now have over 800 members (many of which are from OKCupid) and our main event at the beginning of the month usually has between 30 and 50 members show up. Most of our events are held in the San Fernando Valley (and are family friendly - meaning there are usually kids there). We also have a yearly/bi-yearly family friendly pool party in Brentwood. Our last pool party had over 350 members attend. :-)
A very brief description of what polyamory is:
Polyamory IS a love style based on forming long term committed relationships with multiple individuals who all know about one another in an ethical manner utilizing 100% open and honest communication to foster bonding and trust in all involved.
Polyamory IS NOT about having sex with multiple partners, although intimacy can be a part of the relationship as it can in any other relationship. Polyamory IS NOT about swapping partners or swinging.
If you want to learn more about Polyamory, I have several articles about Polyamory on the About Us (click here) page from the Meetup.com site mentioned above. Please also take a look at this Amazon bookstore (click here) and check out the books listed. If you have more questions about Polyamory, please do not hesitate to send me a message. :-)
Please read my profile all the way through before you message me. I am Collared and soul-bonded to Master Aniel. This means I am in a consensual authority exchange relationship with Master Aniel. I am also in a successful polyamorous tribe, which means all my long term relationship partners know about one another.
1. I am NOT looking for any new relationships of any kind.
2. I am NOT looking for replacements.
3. I am NOT looking for friends with benefits!!!
4. I am NOT looking for people to text or cam with.
5. I am NOT interesting in going out for a drink, dinner, a movie, or any other kind of date with you.
6. I am definitely NOT looking for casual sex partners or sexual encounters!!!
I believe the Match function on OKC is very accurate once you have answered over 1000 questions. I highly recommend that everyone answer at least that many. Most of my long term relationships match me at 85% and above.
---------------------Why I am on OKCupid:---------------------
1. I have this profile up on OKCupid so that others in my area can find the Poly meetup I run. I started my meetup so that people can meet one another a safe manner. All my events are in a public place and are family friendly (see above for more info).
2. I am on OKCupid to meet new people, make new friends, take the tests and compare scores with my other friends who are also on the site.
3. I am on OKCupid to promote polyamory as a healthy alternative to monogamy and give people an ethical alternative to cheating on their partners. This is also the reason I have my status set to "available". It means I will have more viewers, and thus be able to get more people to meet in person through my meetup group.
------------------Please respect my wishes:-----------------
1. DO NOT ask for my real name, I will not give it to you. Online, I go by the name Lilith. Please use this name to refer to me. If you ask me for my name, I will assume you have not read through my profile.
2. DO NOT message me asking if you can kiss my feet, ask for my telephone number, cyber, chat on yahoo or other messenger service, etc. Also, please DO NOT give me your phone number, I do not have the time to call.
3. DO NOT message me with the intent of being a new partner. My plate is full. It would not be fair to my current partners, my family, myself, nor you if I were to add any new relationships.
4. DO NOT message me asking what my kinks are, what I like to do with my partners or other intimate details of my life. I find it tacky and rude to make such inquiries.
5. If you are looking for an easy lay, you are on the wrong profile. There are plenty of other sex oriented dating sites out there, and plenty of other people who will be willing to satisfy your urges, I just happen to NOT be one of them.
5. Should you not heed the above advice, please know that all messages sent to me are forwarded at my discretion, to my partner(s) for our viewing pleasure and amusement. I will also either ignore you or post our resulting conversation to my journal for the amusement of everyone on OKCupid.
This is to hopefully scare off the Horny Net Geeks (HNG's). If this does not scare you off, then by all means, keep reading :-)
I do enjoy making new friends because I feel that one can never have too many. Please do not hesitate to message me if you are looking for a friend, if you have more questions than you started with, or you are intrigued by something I said.
Taking a breath....ok, on to me :-)
Please remember that I am not looking for any new relationships or sex partners at this time. I am Collared and soul-bonded to Aniel. We are in a M/s 24/7 authority exchange relationship. (if you do not know what this means, send me a message) and am also soul-bonded to TeufelWolf. angelsgrace is also very special to me and a soul-bonding is in our future as well. I have other partners that are not on OKC, so my plate is very full considering I am also raising two children. I AM NOT looking for new partners of any kind. We have a large successful poly tribe. 90% of the relationships are over 6 years, and 2 are over 21 years. I, myself, have been part of the tribe since May of 2005. We have many different dynamics within our tribe and it is constantly evolving. The core belief of our tribe is the idea that the tribe always comes first, the individual dynamics second. We believe in 100% open, honest and transparent communication. We also consider anyone who is a part of our tribe as a primary partner. Individual dynamics aside, there is no hierarchy within the tribe.
I am not your typical run of the mill American female, at least not according to society's norms. It is not that I try to go against them, I just don't fit the mold. I love to wear dresses, corsets and high heel boots with a leather miniskirt, but I am just as likely to be found wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt or a business suit. I am very dominant in my day to day living out of necessity, but tend to be very submissive.
I enjoy surprising people. I also enjoy being surprised. I walk the middle ground in most areas of my life. I seem to attract the extremes to me, pleasure and pain, light and dark, etc. I aspire to find the fulcrum between extremes and allow them to co-exist in harmony. More often than not, I am successful. Many people find this perplexing as to how I am able to do this.
I am a 3rd degree Priestess. I practice eclectic Left Hand Path (LHP) Paganism, always walking the line between the light and dark sides. Want to know more, just ask. I follow my own religious path. I do not believe in actual deities in the traditional sense (another long conversation), but I do believe in the Quantum Physics theory of Observer Created Reality. I use the conceptual idea of Archetypes as a grouping of characteristics linked to a man made name representative of a specific deity or group of deities to focus my thought patterns to effect change in my life through the use of ritual. But even going beyond that, I believe the physical manifestation of the divine is possible for those that need to see the divine in that way. I am a full believer in The Secret, and in the theories proposed in The Celestine Prophecy. These in turn go right along with "The Law of Attraction."
I have 2 grown children, both boys who are the loves of my life. I have a BA in Child Development. I am an INFP - Healer (click here) on the Meyers Briggs personality rating scale.
As I stated earlier, I am polyamorous, meaning I practice polyamory, (polyamoury). I am currently involved in long term committed multi-partner poly relationships, and have no desire to leave any of my partners, so please don't try to turn me monogamous. I have been monogamous in the past, and it just does not work for me. Just as monogamy does not work for everyone, polyamory is not for everyone either. I respect your relationship lovestyle choice, please also extend the same courtesy to me. I am not interested in traditional single husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend relationships or polyfidelity. The model (click here) I base my relationships on is Multiple Primary Open relationship. Other words related to this topic (but may or may not apply to my particular situation) include polyfidelity, fluid relationships (click here)">fluid relationships (click here) and non-monogamy.
I am bisexual, with a preference for men. Another word that describes my preferences that I recently learned is heteroflexible. :-)
I am very picky about my partners, and adhere to a strict fluid bond protocol within my relationships, and require my partners to do the same. Trust is the basis of a relationship, and the health of all members is of utmost importance.
I am efficacious, kind, and enigmatic
I am sorry if you feel my profile is too long. Yes, I recently asked someone to read my profile when they IM'ed me, they actually told me it was too long and that I should summarize it for them. I have spent much time in writing it, and I find it a mark of respect if someone actually takes the time to read what I have written. If you cannot take the time to read my profile to begin to get to know me, we will most likely not have enough in common to even establish a friendship.
I am also raising my kids to the best of my ability. Although my partners do help me out with the kids, I am essentially a single mom. One of my children has been diagnosed with High Functioning Autistic Disorder which is similar to Asperger's Syndrome. Both disorders are on the Autism spectrum, for ease of reference usually shortened to the acronym ASD. Much of my time is currently spent getting his needs met. My other son has been diagnosed with ADHD-I, (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - Inattentive subtype, AKA ADD) and Dysthymic Disorder (AKA depression, though this has since resolved). My eldest is also in a free online public high school (click Here) program, so if you are interested in learning more about the program, feel free to send me a message. Both of my boys have been identified as highly gifted. Much of my time is currently spent addressing the special needs of my children.
I enjoy trying new things, and pushing my own limitations. My explorations have resulted in many changes over the past few years. I have come to the realization that I'm not happy in monogamous relationships. My heart is way to big to be able to love only one person. I also do not like the idea of needing a partner to change who they are to suit my needs or desires. I would much rather be able to accept what they bring to the relationship, and find another partner to fill in any gaps. (i.e. a male partner cannot fill the need I have of being with a woman)
I am good at offering advice, giving moral support, etc..... or so I have been told. I enjoy helping people as much as possible. I find it easier to keep my cool, than to lose it, and many people seem to respect the fact it is difficult to rile me.
Movies...good sci-fi. I will watch just about anything. I like horror, drama, action, dark humor, and docu-dramas. My favorite movie of all time is the original Dune. I also own a copy of Threads, an amazing realistic docu-drama of the aftermath of a nuclear attack.
Music...hmmm....Generally, I like goth, ambient, industrial, ethereal, and steam punk music. Here are a few of my favorite groups. Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio, TriORE, Lesiem, QNTAL, Die Form, Lacrimosa, Pussance, Helium Vola, Midnight Syndicate, L'Ame Immortelle, Delerium, Enya, Dargaard, VNV Nation, Ah Cama Sotz, Hayden, Alexandre Desplat, Beethoven, Collection D'Arnell Andrea, Arcana, Dead Can Dance, Tchaikovsky, Clan of Xymox, Mussorgsky, Era, Evanescence, Holst, Fields of the Nephilim, The Retrosic, Silke Bischoff, Nick Cave, Viavaldi, Tangerine Dream, Weltenbrand, Gary Stadler, Sardonyx, Berloiz, Black Sabbath, Mozart, Nox Arcana, Inkubus Sukkubus, OLD Rush, OLD Depeche Mode, and various Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, and Alternative Artists. I haven't met a Classical composer I do not like, and if I have, I don't remember their name.
Favorite foods...steak and strawberries. Besides that, I enjoy Thai, Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, Mediterranean, Persian, and am willing to try new foods.
I don't like shellfish, shrimp, mushrooms, green bell peppers, or star melons. Unfortunately, raw meats don't agree with me either, but I love sushi when it has cooked fish, or veggies.
I also think a lot about, energy balancing, tantra, magick, sexual experimentation ( I like to be kinky on occasion), and life in general.
I enjoy philosophical discussions pertaining to the evolution of the human species. Ruminating about the origin of religion and how everyone can be 100% correct in their own beliefs. Ancient civilizations beliefs are also an interest as are the ways we can integrate the traditions from those civilizations into modern life. Taking this a step further, thinking of what the future will bring and how to actively bring about change in the perceptions we have as a species as well as individually. In other words, I like thinking outside the box, and enjoy when others do the same. :-)
I love to experience new things, and I love to push my own limits. I like to think about what makes "me" tick. I also like to observe others and figure out what makes them tick as well.
I enjoy cuddling, giving and receiving massage (I used to do it professionally), holding hands, falling asleep in my lover's arms, looking into people's eyes, making friends, helping others, learning, sleeping during the day, and staying up all night.
I have issues with the sun, so I tend to avoid it. The bright light and UV rays tend to give me migraines.
Along with running the Southern California Polyamory Meetup Group (click here) I also attend events held at Live the Dream (click here), a Polyamory Support Group in the San Fernando Valley. Some of the events for the meetup group I organize are held at Live the Dream (click here) For more information on events being held, please visit the Southern California Polyamory Meetup Group (click here) website to find out more about these events.
Chat with my CyberTwin online now!
You also have kids with special needs, are in Special Ed, or believe that Mainstreaming is NOT right for all kids..
My having other partners does not scare you off or if it intrigues you and you want to learn more about how to make it work in the real world.
You need someone to talk to or advice on child rearing.
You should NOT message me if you are ONLY interested in sex. Not only will I ignore you, but I will forward the messages to my other partners for their viewing pleasure, and I also may post the conversation to my blog.
I am picky about my partners, and need a spiritual bond in order to enjoy a physical one. Please remember I AM NOT looking for new partners of any kind I am only on OKC to promote my meetup group, take tests, compare scores and make new friends.
Please DO NOT message me if you think you can change my relationship preference. I was in a monogamous relationship for 13.5 years and will never do it again.