In a nutshell, here is "my deal" or "what I am looking for:"
I want to fall in love. I want to meet an amazing, super-smart, headstrong, opinionated, one-of-a-kind woman who is looking for a wacky renaissance man like me. I used to mention that she must have a high sex drive. To be honest, I don't really care about that anymore; there is always internet porn if I "feel the need." Really, I just want to meet a cute, special lady who likes and appreciates me, and who wants to spend time with me -- whether simply talking over coffee or perhaps if we are both lucky, engaged in other -- ahem -- "activities..."
I'd like to meet a sexy geek girl with glasses and some hidden tattoo or piercing -- a total nerd / dork girl who collects comic books, is endearingly goofy or socially awkward, and who can quote strange bits of trivia about cult films or some other obscure pop culture reference...AND YET WHO transforms into an irresistible seductress by simply removing her spectacles.
Ultimately, I would like this woman to become my wife and I her husband. I want kids, but not in the next few years.
I am scattered. I procrastinate a lot. I am interested in a lot of things. I can speak 5 or 6 languages at various levels of proficiency, though I am mainly focused on Cantonese and Mandarin Chinese right now, which I also volunteer teach twice a week during the school year. I hope to bring my various languages to professional levels in the coming years, and would like to go to grad school for language and linguistics -- hopefully starting in 2017 or 2018.
I just paid off almost all of my debt, a rather large chunk, which is great but means that I literally have no money right now. For various reasons, which I am happy to share when you get to know me, my life is kind of a "do-over" right now, as I enter a completely new phase career- and lifestyle-wise.
I will not be able to take you out to any fancy restaurants or the theatre or anything that costs more than $10 or $15 for a while. The right woman will be cool with this. I am looking for someone to have coffee with, take walks, watch movies, and in general just enjoy each other's company without any pressure that I need to buy you anything expensive anytime soon. The "right woman," might even have free IDNYC memberships (like me) that we could share time exploring.
Studying and speaking various languages.
I have a nice smile, thanks to 7 years of braces when I was a kid.
My favorite novel is Jack London's Martin Eden.
I think that Alan Moore's writing in book 4 of Watchmen is the most beautiful use of the English language I have ever encountered. Every time I reread it, it literally makes me cry. TS Eliot's "Prufrock" might be tied with Moore in my heart of hearts.
I am very passionate about vintage kung fu movies, and have a huge DVD collection as well as many books on the genre. My favorite is The 36th Chamber of Shaolin from Shaw Brothers. It is one of the most inspiring films I have ever seen.
I am a sucker for romantic comedies (mostly because my own love life is so utterly pathetic). I have a soft spot in my heart for Disney / Pixar animated films as well as Harry Potter movies -- especially if they are overdubbed into another language. Frozen in Cantonese is amazing.
I tend to eat Chinese and Thai food a lot, and sometimes go in search of a burger deluxe that will change my view of the world. My favorite food by far, though, is seafood, in particular shellfish -- shrimp, calamari, octopus, crabs, clams, etc. Love, love, love it.
Languages and travel.
Deeply green vegetables and seafood.
Faith in myself and my life direction.
On a much more positive note, lately I have been very focused on applying to dual simultaneous professional certificate programs in level 3 and 4 Cantonese and Mandarin Chinese, which I intend to start in Hong Kong during the fall of 2017. I am also about to research Masters and PhD programs in Applied Linguistics, which I intend to apply to for the fall of 2018.
I am a very independent guy, but it would be nice to share my Friday nights with a cute lady who would also want to share her Friday nights with me.
I don't drink much, but will be cool with you drinking socially as long as you are equally cool with me most likely not.
After about 50 or 60 waste-of-time-no-in-person-chemistry dates from this site, I am going to take a different tactic:
I think that online dating is bullshit. Let me explain myself and then, if you are still interested in either meeting me or fucking me, please by all means contact me:
I have tried genuinely, over and over again, to find a REAL connection with a woman via this site and there is always something to sabotage that effort. Maybe 90% of the time, there is simply no kind of physical attraction in person, even though we both might look exactly like our photos and we both really dig each other's written profiles.
The issue with online dating as I see it is that it sets up an artificial scenario destined to fail from the start because it reverses the logical order of the universe.
In "the real world," FIRST you see someone in person and determine whether you are attracted to him or her based on their physical appearance, the clothes they are wearing, the sound of their voice, the way they move their body, the way they carry themselves and interact with other people, the way they smell -- all of these things are intangible and have nothing to do with what anyone can write in an online dating profile.
In the real world, all of this happens in an instant, AND THEN we make a decision whether to speak to this magical new person, based on some kind of very real, immediate interest or lack thereof. After we speak to this new person and are lucky enough to get their number and go out on a date or several, THEN we get to know the person further and figure out whether it might be "a match" based on deeper concerns.
Online dating reverses this process and though it might work for some people, it hasn't worked for me so far. THIS is where I am coming from, and this is why I think this process is bullshit.
Over the past 12 years or so, I have been out on over 150 online dates with different NYC women from various websites, and yet all but one of my 15 or so girlfriends I have had since I started dating 25 years ago have come from in-person meetings and in-person initial attractions.
I would love for someone to prove me wrong, but I am not very hopeful.
If you are still interested in me, by all means, read my elaborate, very well-contructed OkC profile below and contact me. If I am attracted to your photos and what you have to say, I WILL definitely write you back.