I'm meticulous about spelling & grammar (It drives me crazy that I had to drop an 'L' from my preferred profile name just to fit the 15 character limit), yet I have an odd affinity for bastardized, contractive reductions like 'gonna', 'wanna' and 'shoulda'. I attribute this to listening to alotta the Ramones during my formative years.
I like to put creativity into everything I do, yet impose rules on myself to get the best results.
I'm preposterously open-minded, yet somewhat intolerant with lactose.
I like to think of myself as a realist, yet I know I have the heart of a romanticist, though I can't paint like one.
I was married when I earned my bachelor's degree.
I'm extremely well-mannered, yet I enjoy thinking about and saying things that are completely inappropriate.
I'm anti-littering and anti-pollution, yet a seemingly big fan of self-contamination.
I'm a meticulator: a meticulous procrastinator.
Probably in that order, too.
What I'm doing with my life changes day to day, but I suppose there are a few constants. I think I can safely say I did all of these things on any given day:
I learned something new today.
I drew something or at least doodled today.
I used a computer today.
I enjoyed a meal.
I daydreamed for a few minutes.
I fed my fish & watched them swim around for a while.
I listened to music.
I thought about boobs.
I washed my hands & brushed my teeth.
I read something.
I admired the sky and some form of plant life.
I laid motionless in a dark room and breathed slowly with my eyes closed and experienced imaginary situations in my mind which I believed were completely, incontrovertibly real.
I'm also pretty addicted to geocaching, yet another thing that can distract me from daily minutiae and focus me in on a fun diversion.
I'm also fairly skilled at writing. I read often and have a substantially formidable vocabulary, plus it's always been apparent to me that I think a bit differently than the bland majority of humanity. All of these factors may have combined to make me able to write funny... though you might not be tell right here.
I'm pretty skilled with a lot of computer software as well, though Photoshop is the only one that would probably impress you.
I'm really good at seeing things fuzzily without eye correction.
I can get a cork out of a wine bottle using only a napkin, and I won't even ask how the cork got in there in the first place.
OK, OK, I've been seeing that on a lot of profiles so here goes something different:
As I enter the room you are overwhelmed by the scent of gardenias and a buzzing in your molars. Your vision slightly blurs and everything becomes shimmery. Your knees and nipples tingle slightly. Just as the first faint stirrings of unease begin to trickle into your mind, these sensations pass and I'm standing before you, offering you a bright green apple.
That's usually what people tell me at least.
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Through the Looking Glass & What Alice Found There - Lewis Carroll
A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
Foop! - Chris Genoa
Fluke - Christopher Moore
Bluebeard - Kurt Vonnegut
Go, Dog, Go! - P.D. Eastmann
Skinny Legs and All - Tom Robbins
The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse - Robert Rankin
The Brief and Terrifying Reign of Phil - George Saunders
Zany Afternoons - Bruce McCall
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Trilogy" - Douglas Adams
Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris
The Lorax - Dr. Seuss
A Clockwork Orange
Jan Svankmajer's Alice
Sid & Nancy
Wild at Heart
Dawn of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead
and I might be the only person who really liked The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
I have over 27,000 songs in Itunes, so here are genres rather than bands
or anything featuring:
(that list is really fun to read aloud)
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." ~Poe
"Gentlemen, I would rather believe that two Yankee professors would lie than believe that stones fall from heaven." ~ Thomas Jefferson
“Imagination is more important than knowledge.
For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.”
"I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather be a superb meteor,
every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet."
~ Jack London
"Look, you're here to see me, and I can't go on until my dealer is here, and he's waiting to be paid, so give me some money so I can fix up, and then you'll get your show." ~ Iggy Pop
Probably in that order, too, depending on the season.
Or if that's too literal... the four fingers on my right hand & both thumbs.
What a bad question.
I know you're not supposed to use them this way, but it just feels like I'm doing a better job at cleaning my ear-hole that way.
When I was 2 weeks old my parents told me that Max Ernst had died. I refused to speak for over a year after that moment. I think I was really into frottage at that time.
Possibly that I have a few white hairs on my head. But I've had them since I was 8. At least that's when I noticed them first.
I'm sure I'll deliver anything but boring.
Or if you know the song my username came from without resorting to Google. (no cheating!)
Or if you just want to go geocaching and/or drink some good beer.